The Tribe Log

God is Good!

2007-01-24T00:15:00.000-08:00

I wanted my last post to read this way. He truly is good.

Bring Back Abortion!

2005-08-05T14:56:00.000-07:00

Social justice is a huge issue in today’s church. Maybe it has something to do with Jesus being so into social justice or something like that. If you pick a relevant magazine or go to any cutting edge Christian blog you will see a lot of space devoted to social justice. It is really fantastic to see a renewed charge for this. For too long the church has done nothing for social justice, and I am excited to be part of the resurgence.

But are we really seeing a resurgence? According to most sources the answer appears to be a resounding yes! There is more interest in the church now than ever when it come to issues like poverty, health care and women’s rights. But here is my question…Did we just change out our old issues of social justice with these that seem more hip. If we look back 15 years we see a church that was equally passionate about issues of social justice. This was seen especially in the issue of abortion.

To my knowledge I have yet to see someone who identifies with the emergent conversation stand up on the issue of abortion in the same way that they stand up for the other issues of the day. We cannot argue that within the emergent movement social issues like abortion have taken a back seat to issues like the AIDS crisis in Africa. So what happened? Why do we feel like today we are so much more socially compassionate than ever before?

Another characteristic of the emergent conversation is an understanding that God has no political stance. He is neither conservative nor liberal, neither republican nor democrat. This idea could not be any truer. For years it has been understood that Christians in general are Republicans. Terms like Conservative Christian seem to go hand in hand. To fix this it appears to me that the emergent conversation has indirectly been a driving force behind a shift to the left. I say indirectly because I am not convinced that this was ever the attempt. The emergent conversation finds a lot of its style in the culture of the day. Popular culture is generally leaning politically left, thus these leanings are picked up by the emergent conversation. Popular culture celebrates causes like health care for all, debt relief, and women’s equality and we can see these causes slowly gaining strength in Christian circles…especially in the emergent conversation.

On the other hand, issues like abortion, family values, and public prayer seem to be slowly losing steam in the emergent conversation for the same reasons as stated above. It grieves me to see that in an attempt to rid the church of political leanings, instead we seem to be exchanging one political ideology for another. Many see the church as a pawn for the Republican Party. I am not a fan of this, but the answer is not to become a pawn for the other. The answer, as with many things, lies somewhere in the middle.

I believe that if JC were around today, he would that poverty, and abortion. He would hate that people are dying with treatable sicknesses, and that children were being adopted by homosexual parents. I completely agree that God does not have a political alignment, but we must be careful that we don’t exchange one bad thing for another. We need to live for social justice on both sides of the fence. We must be neither democrat, nor republican, but solely Christians.

I suck at blogging

2005-05-09T22:44:00.000-07:00

Gina (the blog entitled Meet Virginia in my “blogs” column to the right) as rightly pointed out that I am obsessive kind of person. Not that I am really clean or anything that you commonly associate with one who is obsessive, but I tend to become obsessed with certain hobbies (aka addictions) for a certain time period and then drop it for months at a time. Take video games for instance. I could go on a kick for video games and play them 15 hours a week for a month or two, and then resign and not play them at all for 6 months. I am weird like that. For those of you who have been reading my blog you may realize now that I was on a blogging kick from January through march, and had a great time, but as of late I have felt little drive to get out there and do it.

I am not sure what I wrong with me, and I kind of feel that this is who I am. Is it a bad thing the way I obsess? Someone once asked me if I finish things that I start, and the answer to that is yes, I do. The problem with many of the things I take up is that the only finishing point for the activity is death. I will never finish blogging. I can go from theme to theme, but never will I have completed my blog. The same goes for video games. I may go from game to game but I have never gotten to a point where I succeeded and finished video games. It is tough but I just want to write an excuse as to why you haven’t seen me on here for a week. Truth is I am pooped. But tomorrow is another day and with it comes a new addiction for me. Maybe it will be one that calls me back to this little cyberspace that has been my passion for 4 months.

God, not sure where to go from here. You know my heart. I have had a great time with this, and look forward to doing it some more. Give me a passion to do it, and if not, for something that changes me every day. I have enjoyed this time blogging with you very much so far, and I look forward to seeing where you take it from here.

Treasure Hunt

2005-05-02T21:31:00.000-07:00

Matthew 19:27 – Then peter said to (Jesus), “We’ve given up everything to follow you. What will we get out of it?”

Here’s a reality that I don’t live in. There are rewards in heaven for the way we live our life on earth. Actually I am quite surprised by Jesus’ response to this question. If I were JC I would have explained to Peter that the joy of serving the Lord is joy enough for him. I would ask him to stop grumbling, because he is working for the Lord. But of course this is nothing like what Jesus says.

I was surprised to read that Jesus explains to Peter at some length that he can count on treasures in heaven for every good act he does. But how can this be. Is it ok to have selfish heavenly motivation? Can I give to others and rejoice in the heavenly rewards I will have? Is this what Jesus intended? I am not sure if I have taken this too far but I want to live in the heavenly treasure reality. I want to start laying them up for myself. I have never really thought about them in regards to my Christian walk. I always knew that treasure awaited me in heaven, but I want to be anxious for it because it appears that this is what Christ encourages us to do.

Of course I am reminded of another of Jesus sayings. On a couple of occasions he said about the arrogant that they have their reward in full. So I see that if I am not careful with my pride I may not be able to look forward to the treasures that await. What a catch 22.

God, help me to strip down my pride and arrogance. I want to live anxiously awaiting the treasures I have stored up and the treasures I will store up. I realize that this is a focus for ministry, not the focus. Pleasing you will still be first in my heart. Help me to make sure of that. Tonight and tomorrow as I live my life, remind me of the treasure principle, and help me to set up a pattern that turns into a lifestyle that lives in ready expectation for the rewards you will pour out on me in heaven. I love you Lord.

J.C.'s M.O.

2005-04-27T10:39:00.000-07:00

Matthew 14:28 – Then Peter said to him, “Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you by walking on the water.”

Jesus is so amazing. What got me about this story today is peters direction for Jesus. JC is out there walking on the water and Peter isn’t quite sure if it is really him or not. He thought it could be a ghost or some other spirit. So in order to see if it really was Jesus he had to do a test. This test shows us a lot about Jesus and the way his disciples saw him.

I have always understood this test to mean something like – if you can make me walk on the water then I will believe it is you. This would make sense, because only God himself could do that. But this was not the test that we see here. The test was one that checked Jesus character. It tested his personality. Peter held up his standard operating procedure and compared to the one he saw before him the test was whether or not he would call Peter out to him. Jesus was known for calling people to follow him, and this was the standard by which the disciples recognized him here. He has done the same in our lives. We can know that he is Lord because he will keep calling us to him over and over again no matter how many times we have gotten it wrong.

So what is there to learn from this? We need to be ready to be called to the uncomfortable situations of the world because this is JC’s standard. He proves himself to us daily by calling us over and over again. The truth is if you know Jesus you will be called to him. That is the way it is and it is a good meter to see how well we know him. How has he called you today?

Lord help me to answer when you call. I want to keep your proven system working. Teach me to be a recruiter the way you were. I am willing to got to the uncomfortable situations with you. Thanks for calling me.

That's the Kingdom of God

2005-04-23T12:03:00.000-07:00

Matthew 10:7-8 – “Go and announce that the kingdom of heaven is near. Heal the sick, raise the dead, cure those with leprosy, and cast out demons. Give as freely as you have received.”

One thing that I don’t do is announce that the kingdom of heaven is near. Is this something that we are still required to do? The only people we see doing this today are the homeless with their cardboard signs, and that is usually in movies. The homeless don’t seem to have the spirituality that they used to. But my question is what is the kingdom of heaven, and what is our responsibility to it? What should we be declaring to others. It is bad that I don’t know this? Anyone have any ideas on what the Kingdom of heaven is and what our responsibility is to it today?

Straight Priorities

2005-04-21T20:20:00.000-07:00

Matt 8:21-22 - Another disciple said to him, “Lord, first let me go and bury my father.” But Jesus told him, “Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead.”

Ready for some debate? For those who read my blog you know that one of my goals is to read scripture in a fresh way. I don’t want to take any of my culture or my “Christian” ideas into it. Sometimes that leads to awesome discoveries for my walk, and sometimes that leaves me even more confused than I started. Case and point – today’s verse.

The majority of my life has now been as a Christian. One thing that the church has always taught is that your family should come before just about anything. We say that God comes before our families, but in practice he doesn’t, and for the most part we are OK with that. But I got to thinking today, does the Bible place family before ministry? Should it be that way?

May I suggest that perhaps we should place ministry before our family? I am not saying that this is right, or that I do this, I am just suggesting that perhaps we could make a case for this in the bible. The verse above is just one example of scriptures calling us to serve with Jesus before we take care of the needs of our family. Elsewhere in scripture we see Jesus allowing his disciples to leave their careers and their families to follow him. The real kicker is in 1 Corinthians 7:29 – Now let me say this, dear brothers and sisters: The time that remains is very short, so husbands should not le marriage be their primary concern.

What I think we have is a disconnect in our Christian world between love and action. Can we love the Lord more than anything in this world and not have time to serve him because of our family obligations. I am not ripping on anyone, but I got to tell you that I get this excuse all the time. I love my job but the hardest part of it for me is getting people to jump in and do ministry with me. I am sure that the bulk of the problem is my fault, for not being a good enough motivator, but this excuse is just tough for me. It sounds so noble, and I am not sure that anyone has been called on this before, but let me say this, - If you are unable to do the Lords work because your family is your priority, perhaps your family has a whole needs a new set of priorities.

Then there is the idea that my family is my ministry. That is valid, but it is something that we never see in scripture as far as I can tell. Please don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that family is not important. My only thought is that most of us admit that God is more important. We need to align our actions up with that.

Lord help me to not only love you most but to live for you most at the same time. I don’t want to categorize my time, I want to be a Christian all the time. Whatever you are calling me to do is my primary concern. I live for you first, help me to do that.

You be the Judge

2005-04-20T13:55:00.000-07:00

Matthew 7:1 – Stop judging others and you will not be judged.

I am not sure that I ever really understood this verse. This is one of those things that I read before and felt that I had a handle on it, so all I needed to do was make sure that I don’t become judgmental. To this day I don’t think that I am judgmental…to peoples faces. There is a fine line that I have to walk here too. I have Christian friends right now who are doing things that both of us know they shouldn’t be doing. I know I shouldn’t remain silent and let them leave the calling the Lord has on their lives. The new testament is full of people calling others on their sin.

I had to walk through this with some of my best friends. (you know who you are). On friend in particular was in a relationship that we knew was wrong. We had to tell him, calling him on his junk, and after that we became enemy-like. About a year down the road he came back to visit me, relationship over, and was repentant. It really stung to lose a best friend during that time, but the Lord has strengthened our relationship, and it is even better now than it was for.

But that is not what I wanted to say in this entry. I wanted to suggest that perhaps God isn’t the one doing the counter judging in this statement. Maybe I shouldn’t judge other people because in doing that I fall into the trap of pride and the endless cycle of judging myself by comparison to others. By that standard I am very judgmental. God has been dealing with me in this area a lot lately. I am very competitive and I am discovering that there is no trophy big enough. I constantly compare myself to others and when I feel that I am better than them I move onto the next person on the scale. Disgusting isn’t it. By doing this I know that I build pride in my life and am constantly judging myself, never reaching a level of contentment. I want the Lord to help me straighten this out.

God thank you for your word being specific to my situation today. I no longer want to set judgment standards by comparing myself to others. Help me out of this cycle. I do it all the time and it is going to take work. I need your strength

Holy Spirit Led...

2005-04-17T22:55:00.000-07:00

Matthew 4:1 - Then Jesus was led out into the wilderness by the Holy Spirit to be tempted there by the Devil.

I had never realized that Jesus was led by the holy spirit to be tempted? I remember being taught throughout my childhood God never tempts us. I guess that is true but it seems here that he may as well have. He brought Jesus to the tempter himself. I am not sure if this is a Jesus only thing, or if God brings us to places of temptation. I guess we need to know why God did this for Jesus? I don’t have a good answer for that. I am not sure why that had to happen. I guess it served to make Jesus more human, in that he faced the same temptations that we face. Either way I haven’t ever felt like I was tempted by the Lord and I am thankful for that.

I am not real sure what is going on here Lord, but the bottom line is that I know you are good and I trust your judgment more than my own rationale. Take first place in my life, and don’t let the temptations I deal with ensnare me.

Conflict Creation

2005-04-14T23:13:00.000-07:00

I have the pleasure of preaching at my church a few times each month. I really have come to enjoy preaching, and I look forward to what the future holds in that regard. This last week I got to preach on a topic that was real fun. I spoke on Creation. If you have not heard the sermon I encourage you to take a listen to it. I had a great time doing it and although it was very different from most messages that I preach I was very happy with the outcome. I had several people approach me after the service and ask me questions, wondering why I said some of the things I did. I received a phone call to encourage me in my preaching, and I even heard that a few people were inspired to read through the passage again on their own time.

Then it seemingly hit the fan. Comments slowly began to trickle in that were contrary to the way I felt about my sermon. Some of the ones that I heard included that I supported the theory of evolution too much, I treated the word of God in an irreverent manner, I sarcastically supported a more traditional creation theory, and one person even suggested to a staff member that they didn’t think I knew what I was talking about. All of this has been third hand information, but it was discussed in our staff meeting today. I got to tell you the truth, I am frustrated by it. I am not really angry or sad, just frustrated.

In response to the third hand comments that I received, let me say a few things. As I listened to my sermon back again, I decided that I am going to stick with what I said. I feel like my theology was sound, and that I did a satisfactory job, accomplishing my goals in the sermon. That being said I want to work on some of those things that people said. My critics may be right that I don’t treat the word of God with the respect that it deserves. This is completely unintentional, but I will acknowledge that I want to be a better handler of the word of God. It is more valuable to us than silver and gold. My hope was to convey this in the message, but obviously to some I did not. For that I apologize. I want to be better at that in the future. I want to be better at this and I want God to do it through me. It is a constant struggle that I face to make Thomas decrease and Jesus increase in my life, especially in my preaching. I have fallen short in this area and honestly you get a lot of Thomas when I preach. I am a work in progress and my aim is present more of his word and less of my own with each passing sermon. So to those who were offended in any way by y sermon you have my sincere apologies. It was not meant in harm. My prayer is that despite my shortcomings you would be drawn into the word and fall in love with it for yourself. Even though Thomas comes through sometimes, I pray that you would still fall in love with Jesus.

Lord, I truly feel like my sermon this week was on par with other sermons I have delivered in the past, and that’s a problem. I want more of you in my life. Too much of my selfishness and pride comes out in my sermons. Help me to fix that. I want to see you glorified. I pray that you would bring good out of this situation and would train me to be the preacher you want me to be.

I Want You

2005-04-13T16:50:00.000-07:00

2 Corinthians 12:14-15 - I don't want what you have; I want you… I will gladly spend myself and all I have for your spiritual good, even though it seems that the more I love you, the less you love me.

This passage is rich with meaning. Paul is saying here that he doesn’t want what the Corinthians have, he just wants them and that he is willing to spend whatever he has including himself to get it. Despite his output however it seems that the Corinthians aren’t giving themselves to him. The point to me however is that Paul is willing not only to give himself, but also what he has for people, even when they don’t give back. I am not sure what is harder. I think for me it is harder to give what I have than to give myself. That all depends on what we mean by giving ourselves. I find myself to be far more greedy with my possession than with my personal time, but am I really. How often do I not show interest in others because I value my time more than theirs? How often do I pretend to listen and just say ah-ha, as people talk. Maybe I actually suck at both giving myself and my possessions, I have just trained myself to think that because I am a pastor I give all of my time to the work of the Lord. I need to love people more. (Have you heard me say that on my log before) Paul did not fear rejection he just loved people with all that he had. I need to do the same.

Lord, help me to do that.

Godly People

2005-04-09T09:03:00.000-07:00

2 Corinthians 9:9 – Godly people give generously to the poor.

Sometimes when I read the bible I tend to skip over sections. It’s not that I don’t read them, it is just that I don’t give them thought after I have read them. What that is really doing is handcuffing the word of God. It strips it of all its power. It takes away its ability to transform my life. So often I look into the mirror and don’t change my appearance metaphorically speaking. This verse is a great example. I read 2 Corinthians 9 today and it was one of those “Great what am I going to blog about” days. I started meditating on this verse above and it hit me like a rock. The God’s honest truth that I don’t give generously to the poor. I may have a couple of times in my life, but it is not a regular habit in my life. My lifestyle therefore is not that of a Godly person.

As I write this I am thinking about how my life is going to change. Should I go out there, leaving my wife and daughter to be at home, and give away the money we are saving for a home? I have to confess that I just had the thought that I would write this and change nothing about my life. But something has to change, or I am as foolish as that guy in the mirror. What is the Christian response to giving in this day and age?

Here’s the deal God. I can’t give everything I have to the poor. I can give generously. I can’t give to every poor person I see, but I can give to a few. Give me opportunities to prove my godliness in this way, and I hope not to fail you. You are worth it.

The Perfect Place

2005-04-08T18:17:00.000-07:00

Well we found it. I am just not sure that it will choose us. We went to look at condo's today and found one that we absolutly loved. It is in the right neighborhood, the right complex, has all the right amenities, and would be perfect for my little starter family. The problem: It is priced right at our limit. No flex room at all and the tendency here in sonoma county is for houses to go for right at, and sometimes higher than their asking prices. We can't do that. We like this place very much and want to put an offer, but it is so nice tha we are scared that someone will swoop in with a higher offer and snag it. So we are praying. I would appreciate it if you would pray with us. I am praying that it would stick at that price or that God would take us elsewhere, and have another place for us. He is all I want in this life (or at least all I want to want) so I trust him in this matter, but your prayers will help.

obsession

2005-04-07T21:46:00.000-07:00

1 Corinthians 7:1 - With promises like this to pull us on, dear friends, let's make a clean break with everything that defiles or distracts us, both within and without. Let's make our entire lives fit and holy temples for the worship of God.

The promise that Paul is speaking of here is one of relationship with the Lord. But the promise is conditional. It requires an separation from the things that cause us to stumble. So Paul continues his case by calling us to get away from not only things that defile us but even things that distract us. If we truly desire this relationship we would do exactly that. But alas, I do not. I am easily distracted. I have what my wife (and previously my mother) call an addictive personality. ( I realize that the previous parenthetical statement could be read in one of two ways. To clarify my mother and my wife are two separate individuals. Hopefully you can ascertain the meaning given this truth) I quickly become obsessed with seemingly benign interests. I have been known to partake in a casual video game which sends me down a 4 month spiral of playing every worthwhile game released in the past 2 years. In that time I will go to video game web sites, read video game news letters, even spend half an hour playing video game demos in wal-mart like a 6 year old. I realize it is quite pathetic. But I do this with so man things in my life. Baseball/Baseball cards, Football, guitars, music, Mexican food, anything I could call an interest, quickly becomes an obsession or me. Some of these things can even be healthy. For the first few months I was blog obsessed. This was good because I felt like God was showing me a lot, and that I grew in relationship with a bunch of people in that time. I have even been addicted to bible and other Christian book reading. Not necessarily a distraction, or is it?

It can be. I wish I wasn’t so obsessive.

God you made me thins way. My theology tells me it wasn’t on accident. It has the tendency to separate us, but I know it doesn’t have too. I pray that you would be the object of my obsession. That I would run to you with all my free time. I am not even close. Help me to get there.

Sad

2005-04-06T10:27:00.000-07:00

I am not sure where I am going with this entry, but hopefully by the end I will have figured it out. I heard a story that was so deeply impacting yesterday that I felt I needed to address it in blog form, even though I don’t know why I am so deeply affected by it.

Last night I went to one of our churches small groups. There were about 12 people there and I was just there to support the leaders, letting them know that what they are doing is worth while. One of the people at the group was a guy named Greg. I had first met Greg on Sunday morning. When I first saw him he appeared to be mentally handicapped. His eyes were fluttering up at the top of his eyelids, and he had the look that he wasn’t all there. As I walked up the ramp after church I got to meet him. Turned was quite intelligent, and blind. He was a really outgoing sweet guy. You may think it is wrong to say this, but I have met a lot of handicapped people who aren’t sweet people. They have this –mad at the world- thing going on. I have been yelled at by handicapped people for not helping them with doors and the like. Greg was not one of these guys. That day Greg and I exchanged pleasantries and were on our separate ways.

At the group meeting last night Greg was a great asset. He was talkative and friendly. Your role model group member. After the meeting we were hanging out and I decided to strike up a conversation with Greg. I have never been one to gingerly approach the handicapped. I think they must be frustrated with all the people out there pretending that they don’t notice that they are handicapped. So I approached the subject immediately. He reintroduced himself, and I did the same and asked him if he was good with voices. He said he was. That always amazes me when the blind can recognize everyone by their voice. I saw that he was open about his disability by asking that first question, so I asked him another. “Were you born blind?” He told me that he had been blind for about 15 years. So my obvious next question was “What happened.” His answer floored me.

I am not sure what his exact words were, but I could tell that he was embarrassed to give his reason. He stuttered through the reason: He shot himself trying to commit suicide and lost his eye sight. I didn’t know how to respond. I have heard about how frustrated people become when they fail at committing suicide. They all ready feel like failures, and now they fail at something that seems so simple, taking their own life. For Greg there was even further consequence to this scenario. Not only did he want to die, and fail at killing himself. He now had to live the rest of his life knowing that he handicapped himself. His wife then left him; he lost his job, his kids, his house. As if he wasn’t feeling bad enough all ready.

I am not sure what it is but I don’t think there are stories much sadder than that one. I am still not sure what the bigger picture is, or what the lesson is or even why I wrote this. I am just processing, and this time there is no conclusion. I am tempted to stick a cliché in here like – “life isn’t fair” – or – “win some you lose some” but I won’t (So disregard those last two clichés). I am rocked by this story and I am sure that it will be a sermon illustration some day, jut not yet.

Self Exam

2005-04-05T17:35:00.000-07:00

2 Corinthians 5:15 - He died for everyone so that those who receive his new life will no longer live to please themselves. Instead, they will live to please Christ, who died and was raised for them.

This passage flies right in the face of the way that I live my life. I feel like I try to live my life by both of these paradigms, and surprise surprise it doesn’t work as well as I would have hoped. I am ashamed to say that I live to please the Lord, because that pleases myself. And I don’t mean that in a “It gives me joy to serve the Lord” kind of way. I mean something that I have confessed to many times on this blog. I serve the Lord often because of what I get out of it. Whether that be personal satisfaction, praise from man, or anything else, I need to regularly check my motives. I want to live to please the lord exclusively and let the bi-products be exactly that – bi-products.

Lord don’t let me use you. I want my heart to be pure before you. I want to please you because you are worth it. Help me to be more honest with myself and have a better eye for my true motives.

reflecting glory

2005-04-03T22:26:00.000-07:00

2 Corinthians 3:18 - And all of us have had that veil removed so that we can be mirrors that brightly reflect the glory of the Lord. And as the Spirit of the Lord works within us, we become more and more like him and reflect his glory even more.

This is a fantastic analogy that I don’t recall ever reading before. I know I have but it never really stood out like this before. What a great way of explaining worship as a lifestyle. Singing songs only does so much, but if we were to reflect the glory of God with our lives we would radiate worship. That is what my desire is to do. Enough Said.

Lord I want to be a better worshipper. Help me to radiate your glory. I want to be more like you and I mean that now more than I normally do. Sometimes I just say that, and it has become familiar to me. I am sorry. I want to be more like you so that I can reflect your glory better for others. Remind me of that constantly.

Contempt for Familiarity

2005-03-31T22:51:00.000-08:00

Taken from the message somewhere in 1 Corinthians 11 – “You will be drawn back to this meal again and again until the master returns. You must never let familiarity breed contempt.”

Guilty as charged. Paul is talking about taking communion here, and Eugene Peterson paraphrases it this way. I would say that more often than not I do something like this. I guess it comes down to what you call contempt. He goes on to describe it as taking communion in a meaningless way. When communion comes around at church, I wind up taking it several times, once at each service. Am I really expected to conjure up fresh insight for each taking? How can I keep familiarity from ruining my moment with JC.

It goes well beyond communion too. I know I have the same problem with reading the word too. I will be drawn back to that again and again. Familiarity often gets in the way. I have read what I am reading before and in many cases have had a revelation in the past with a particular verse. I am not saying that god can’t give me fresh revelation, but just that it doesn’t always happen.

Worship songs are another prime example. Just about everyone of them has a amazing message, that we should be able to bring to the Lord. Some of these songs we will bring again and again. Should “The Battle Belongs to the Lord” or “Lord I Lift your Name on High” still inspire us perfectly? Is it wrong that it doesn’t?

I have to believe that what the heart of this passage is all about is letting the message always move me, and never to get bogged down in the repetitiveness of the vehicle. The story of Gods redemptive plan and what that entitles me to should be the only thing on this earth that does not bore me. I should constantly be moved by that. But the vehicles that declare this truth or parts of it can come and go. Frankly I am glad we only do communion once in a while at hope. I have been to places where they do it every week, and it quickly loses its meaning. This makes it a lot easier for me.

Lord help me to never let familiarity breed contempt. I even pray that old vehicles would still move me into a real experience with you. I want that no matter what. Use whatever means necessary to get a hold of me. Thanks for dying child. That will always move me.

Preemptive Grace

2005-03-30T09:46:00.000-08:00

1 Corinthians 10:13 – But remember that the temptations that come into your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will keep the temptation from being so strong that you can’t stand up against it. When you are tempted he will show you a way out so that you will not give in to it.

I am not sure I believe this. Of course I believe it because it is in the bible so my soul knows it is true, but everything in this earth and everything I have seen in my life has shown me otherwise. Sure I believe the first part; my temptations are no different from anyone else’s. I know the Lord is faithful. The next line is a little harder to believe, but I could see how that would be true. There is always a possibility to stand up to a temptation. I have never felt completely overtaken by a temptation, to the point where I had no control. It is just the last sentence that I have never experienced. I don’t feel like I am always shown a way out to my temptation. It sounds like there is to be a choice. You can look at that girl walking on the street, or here there is a way out. Sometimes it has been my experience that sin has a way of sneaking up on me. I feel like I sin sometimes and don’t realize that it was wrong until after it is done, then conviction sets in, and I miss my way out that this passage promises.

Even so I trust this word to be true. I will look harder for ways out when sin is approaching. It is in the bible for a reason and I pray that I get to experience this today.

Lord, show me ways out of sin. I feel like I have missed them in the past. I want to experience your preemptive grace, keeping me from separation from you rather than restoring it. Keep me from breaking your heart.

I want, I want, I need... - Bob Wylie

2005-03-29T23:30:00.000-08:00

Tonight in reading I came to a passage in 1 Corinthians 9. the passage was all about the people benefiting from Christian workers, meeting the needs of that worker. That got me thinking about stuff. Let me be honest. I think I have the best job that in the world. The way I figure it, as Christians we all have an equal burden to share the gospel and do the work of the ministry. I just don’t have to do anything else (with the major exception of my other half time job driving huge blocks of steel all over the state). I am living in a dream world. I love my job.

But the question arises of what exactly needs means. I am not sure exactly but I know it means something different in our heads as it did in Paul’s when he writes this. In Paul's writing here he clearly defines needs as food and shelter. So my question is who decides on the needs that God is going to provide for us. Is it us, our culture or the biblical culture into which these passages were spoken. In this day and age few would argue that a person needs electricity, a few sets of clothes, a vehicle, a phone, and the list goes on and on. The problem with that is that there are many people in my own town that are missing one or more of the things mentioned above. I have just always heard it taught that if we honor God and are generous, that God would take real good care of us. I took that to mean living in a decent house, with cars and cable. But maybe the real prosperity of the gospel is found in food and shelter. That is what the word promises. My wife and I were talking the other day and acknowledged that our poverty has never affected our diet. We don’t consider ourselves rich, but if I look at it from others eyes, we have so much. Maybe that’s why we don’t constantly see God pouring out financial blessings. He doesn’t think we need it. Maybe God knows a humans needs better than I do. I will trust him in that.

Like a Servant for the Very First Time

2005-03-26T20:25:00.000-08:00

I watched the passion again last night. I hate that movie. It is fantastic, well done and life changing, but I hate watching it. I like the way it moves me to worship the Lord but those 2 hours are tough for me. I hadn’t seen it since last February when I saw it in the theater on Ash Wednesday, the day it came out. The first time I tried to watch every bit of it and not cover my eyes. I felt it was important to take it all in. This time I didn’t even try. I spent a good amount of time, head in hands.

The thing that got me the most this time was JC’s servant hood. There was a flashback where he washed one of the disciple’s feet. A perfect example of servant hood. But there was more. An even better example of servant hood was the way he took our sins. I don’t mean to sound cliché or cheesy, but I really never realized that side of the cross. It was the ultimate act of servant hood.

Servant hood is something that we have skewed in the modern church. The idea today is that if you hand our bulletins at church, or if you play electric guitar on the worship team that you have done your service. I am not knocking those things. They are both vital parts of making ministry work. My point is that people have lost touch with the service lifestyle that Christ embodied. He would not have stopped at ushering, for fear of burning out. Why can’t we live like that?

For the past few weeks there has been a small problem at church. There is the always pleasant smell of dead rodent coming from underneath the stage. If you were up there, you probably noticed it. Don’t have a very strong sense of smell and even I got a whiff of it. If I had to guess, I would say that at least 10 people told me about it. “Thomas, it smells like something died under the stage.” “Thomas could you have Sam (our church maintenance guy) take a look and see if there is something dead under here?” “You really need to get Sam up here to get whatever’s down there out.” This went on for at least two weeks. I am quite confident that JC would have taken a different approach. Let’s face it, no one, not even Sam, wants to pull dead rodents out of cramped stages. It is never fun. I have to believe that my Lord, the one who suffered every lashing depicted in the Passion, would have done something like this to serve his brother. If you are one of those people who said something to me or anyone about the smell, please do not take offense at this. I feel equally ashamed because I did nothing more than relay these messages to Sam. I personally felt ashamed of myself. I think of myself as a servant, but so rarely do I do something that no one would notice, that I don’t have to do. Jesus did not have to die, but he did, for me, and everyone else, and so many of us did not notice what an act of service that was.

I said a few weeks ago that this was one of the areas of my life that I need to work on. I know that the Lord is confirming that in me now. My service is not complete, when I lead worship, or preach. God wants more than that, and I will serve him.

Fricking Blogger

2005-03-23T17:54:00.000-08:00

There is nothing on this earth that is a bigger downer than losing work on you computer. We have all experienced this before. You spend a lot of time working on something and then some bug messes it all up and you lose your work. That happened to me today and I am completly furious. I spent a god 45 minutes of my life writing a thoughtful piece on the "sin" of overeating, and lost it when I tried to preview it. I spent the last 30 mintes praying fo God to bring my temper down, and compose me. It worked kind of. Anyway, post your thoughts on this topic if you will...

Is it a sin to overeat?

Lord don't let my anger separate me from you and your will for my life. I pray that you would still use me tonight at roots. Change peoples lies throught the power of the holy spirit. I need that power to continue to change mine.

A Prayer

2005-03-22T20:08:00.000-08:00

A prayer – “Father I pray that you would search my heart and remove any prideful desire to impress people rather than to reach them. I don’t want to make my reputations with Christians more important than my purpose with you. Help me Lord, to be motivated out of sincere love and care for people…” – Judah Smith in Soul Seekers.

Lord that is the prayer for my heart. I want a broken heart and a contrite spirit so that I can give those things to you, and have you make me new. I will be broken before you. Draw me to yourself, so that I san only rely on you and your strength. So often I skate by on my own. Help me to stop that by whatever means necessary. This attitude your word says you will not despise. DO the opposite for me. I am clay for you. Clay is humble, because it has no desires of its own. Make it so in my life. I love you Lord.

This Just In!

2005-03-21T20:34:00.000-08:00

It's a girl! I was the only one who thought it would be a boy, and it looks like my prophetic ability has failed me again. Don't stone me or my little 3/4 pound daughter would be fatherless. I am so excited, and I say that word in its truest form. The doctors wouldn't come out and call it a girl, but they repetedly said "I don't see anything that would lead me to believe it's a boy." I am so amazed by this whole pregnancy process, and I am so thankful for my wife, and the wave she has bravely taken on this new part of our lives.

So be happy. I know that I am

LIVESTRONG

2005-03-20T22:21:00.000-08:00

I hate cancer. I am glad I had a chance to clear that up. Now let me tell you about a growing trend that is bothering me. I am not a fan of cancer accessories. Primarily those wristbands, but any kind of disease support apparel just doesn’t sit well with me. I realize that the proceeds go to fighting the disease, but I just am sick of the fashion statement they have become.

The wristbands all started just a short while ago with the Lance Armstrong “Livestrong” bracelets. They were yellow, and stood for disliking cancer. Then the pink ones came along for those who wanted to make the statement “I hate cancer, especially cancer that attacks breasts.” I have now seen red ones that step beyond cancer into the hatred of aids realm. Finally I saw a friend of mine wearing a purple bracelet. I asked him what it was for and he said it was for disease.

I guess the thing is I am not sure I understand the statement people are trying to make by wearing these accessories. 99.9 percent of the population hates these diseases too, what are you trying to get across? About six years ago the original statement bracelet came out. Unlike the others it was something that not everybody agreed on. Because of this they got sort of a bad wrap. You didn’t see every star wearing them on the red carpet. (Nothing matches better that a 50 thousand dollar dress and a two dollar yellow rubber bracelet) I didn’t even wear one of these bracelets even though I completely believed in the message. They simply asked WWJD?

I am not trying to start a campaign to bring back WWJD bracelets, I am simply curious especially when I read Romans 1:16 - I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes. Since we can establish that it isn’t cheap bracelets that are out of fashion, can we conclude that the message these old bracelets carry is? Am I ashamed of my message? As much as I dislike aids and cancer, I dislike hell even more. It is said that in my part of the world something like one in five people get cancer at some point in their life. It is not my place to judge, but I bet that a lot more than that don’t know the Lord.

So here is what I ma not going to do. I will not decide to sport the WWJD bracelet. Instead I am going to make a commitment to hate hell more than any other disease in this world. It is the number one killer. I want to put all my efforts into stopping it. It isn’t going to take cheesy message accessories. I am just going to live it. Even if that goes out of style.

Hippies with Hygiene

2005-03-18T16:05:00.000-08:00

For those of you who don’t know me real well I have a confession to make. Some of my long time friends know this about me, but in the interest of transparency, here’s a juicy tidbit: My favorite show on TV is South Park. Can you still respect me? If you think I am a terrible person, let me know and I will explain to you my thoughts on why it is OK for me to watch this show. Not that any of my normal readers would think this, because they all have a perfect understanding of our freedom in Christ.

I bring the show up because I think this weeks episode has an interesting parallel for us to draw as Christians. The premise of the show was that hippies started to move to South Park. At first the people did not care, but eventually the hippies started to destroy the way of life for the people of south park. They had a giant Woodstock-like festival and soon enough the entire town smelled like weed. Some of the boys were drawn in by the hippie ideas, and decided to take up their cause. They went along with the festival as a plan to draw people together, in hopes that when they had enough people they would unite and defeat the things that hippies are against. To their dismay, all the hippies wanted to do was talk about their ideas, and have a festival. There was no real action behind it. There was no bite to the bark.

This brings to mind the story of Jesus calling his disciples. He is at a body of water and asks some guys who were washing their nets, to get their stuff dirty again and try fishing one more time. They hadn’t caught anything all night, but they gave it a shot anyway, and wound up catching more than they could handle. This story depicts the kind of Christian that I no longer want to be. For so much of my life I have been a net washing Christian. It is important to do that, because if I don’t wash my net it will rot and deteriorate after a while. But I have little to wash off of my net because so rarely do I use it. Like the hippies in the episode of South Park I talk the talk but rarely walk the walk.

It comes down to an issue of trust. I know that will not leave me hanging. If I get out there and use my net, I will bring in fish. Probably more than I could handle. But that requires me to throw them out there. That’s risky. I need to take the Lord at his word and trust him anyway though. I am tired of talking, I want to be what I talk about. I may be taking this old adage out of context, but I think the point can be made - There are plenty of fish in the sea.

Soul Seekers

2005-03-17T21:30:00.000-08:00

Here’s a quote from a new book that I am reading. It is called Soul Seekers by Judah Smith. In the third chapter he says:

“In the Christian world, doing big events to reach people is vogue and makes headlines. But before you hold a rally to see your entire campus saved, why not start with loving one friend. Before you try to feed all the homeless people in your city, why not start by feeding one? Before you move to Africa to start an orphanage, take the neighbor kids, whose parents just got a divorce, to the local pizza place. If you don’t launch out a little and touch the life of your neighbor, will you really be ready for the big event?”

This quote rocked me. I guess I am a lime light kind of guy. I am always looking for the big thing that God has for me and never seem to have time for the little. The Lord entrusts those who are faithful with the little with even more. I need to do that.

God vs. My Bright Ideas

2005-03-17T11:28:00.000-08:00

1 Corinthians 2:1-2 – “Dear brothers and sisters, when I first came to you I didn’t use lofty words or brilliant ideas to tell you Gods message. I decided to concentrate only on Jesus Christ and his death on the cross.”

Does this approach still work? I spend about 8 hours each week getting ready to share a message in front of the church. To those of you who have heard me speak you may be shocked by this. You may be thinking “he should have much better stories if he is spending 8 hours on it,” or “it seems like he is making it up as he goes along.” The bottom line however is that it takes a long time for me to prepare to deliver a message.

This passage doesn’t say how long it took Paul to come up with his messages, but from the sound of the passage it wasn’t very long. As I said in some of my previous posts We have a special preacher at church this weekend. He has the gift of healing and wants to teach about it and pray for people. When we asked him what he was going to talk about he said, what ever the spirit leads, implying that he is just going to get up there and start, talk and finish 45 minutes later. In our culture this is completely unacceptable. In Pakistan there seems to be no thought about it. This is how it is done, and that’s how he does it. I am excited to see how it comes out.

As for my preaching style, I don’t plan on drastically changing it to shooting from the hip the whole time, but there is something for me to learn here. No matter how good your powerpoint is or how perfectly told your illustrations are, without the power of God, the Holy Spirit, the message is a complete waste of time. I want God to live through the way that I teach, so I am going to pray that way.

Lord, keep teaching me about how to effectively communicate to your people. Better yet just use me as a vessel. Let me be your mouth piece. Continue to humble me to a point where I am completely reliant upon you. I don’t want to be forced to use stories of old, quotes and clichés. I want your power to flow though me. Please do that in Jesus name.

Sloppy Theology

2005-03-16T22:47:00.000-08:00

I just got back from church tonight. We had a guy from Pakistan there who taught about Islam and Christianity. He then opened up the floor to anyone who wanted to receive healing. People went up, he prayed, some were “slain in the spirit” (I put that in quotes not to take away from the validity of the occasion, but simply to point out that it is not a biblical term, and I am not particularly fond of the terminology) I assume that some were healed and others were not based upon their reaction. I feel the need to be perfectly honest and I have to say that I do not fully understand healing and Christianity, and how they relate. I have seen the Lord use my prayers to heal others, but I can’t seem to neatly fit healing into my logical theology.

My problems arise when I try to answer the question of why some people aren’t healed? The obvious answer to that is that the Lord has a bigger plan. He wants to do something inside of them. Shouldn’t I have deciphered that before praying? Romans 8:16 says that our finite minds can’t comprehend everything that God wants to do, so the spirit himself intercedes for us when we don’t know how we should pray. Should prayers that God plans not to answer not be prayed in the first place? You are probably saying no, we should pray all the time no matter what. Then my question becomes how do we have faith in that, knowing that I might be praying something that God has different plans about? If faith is all that is required to do miracles, how can I have faith when I pray, if there is a real chance that my prayer won’t be answered even though it is for good reason? This is why so many Christians have been crippled into praying only that God’s will be done.

See what I mean. It doesn’t seem to fit well. I am excited for Sunday to see what the Lord is going to do in a more healing friendly context. Pray for God to be mighty and powerful there that day and that lives would be turned for God. That is the real reason why he heals people in the first place.

Lord, give me faith to move mountains. Teach me about healing. Don’t let me get in the way. I want you more than anything, even if it is messy.

Free Slaves

2005-03-14T22:52:00.000-08:00

Galatians 5:13 – “For you have been called to live in freedom - not freedom to satisfy your sinful nature, but freedom to serve one another in love.”

My generation places a huge value on freedom. We are the product of the Baby Boomers who started the trend, but there is a new movement in the Christian community that celebrates our freedom in Christ more than any generation in history. I have been thinking a lot about our freedom in Christ lately. It was spawned during a discussion we had in our church staff meeting. The discussion really got us nowhere, and we left more confused than we came.

This verse sheds a little light on my personal philosophy of the best way to handle this seeming paradox. My attitude should be that my freedom is primarily to serve others, rather than to do what I wish with things not explicitly condemned in scripture. We live in a world where there are two kinds of people. Some would be encouraged towards God by seeing an active Christian drinking. Others would be turned off by something like that. My response needs to be on a case by case situation, to what would best serve the person I am trying to reach. This is just one passage to applies to this area. I look forward to whatever else the Lord shows me this week on this topic. I feel a topic coming on for tribe this week.

The Christian Conjurer

2005-03-13T23:06:00.000-08:00

Galatians 4:23 - The son of the slave-wife was born in a human attempt to bring about the fulfillment of God's promise. But the son of the freeborn wife was born as God's own fulfillment of his promise.

This verse stood out to me this morning because I so often am like Abraham in this story. I want Gods promises to come about so badly that I will just conjure up something myself, throw a “property of god” label on it and call it the Holy Spirit. I am sure that we all must do this. What we are really doing when we do this is taking the Lords name in vain. We are taking something that we have created with our finite ability, and lowering God to that level, making him only as capable as we are. I really don’t like that I do this, but something in me tells me that God needs back up or something. Like when I lead worship, I know that I often have a backup plan. I will lead and provide a place for god to move, but if he doesn’t… I got his back. But the Lord doesn’t need me to fulfill his promises. He needs me to walk in them. What I wind up doing is stealing the amazing things that God wants to do. He wanted to be my plan B when his plan A seemed to fail (I have learned that chances are it didn’t fail, I just perceived it that way. I want to stop this and be better at trusting God and his promises.

Lord help me to trust you more. So many promises of yours can be missed, not just because we sin, but because we assume that your promises are too far fetched. We figure that we give you a window and expect you to jump through it. I am sorry for making you as small as I am. In reality you are much bigger. Help me to remember that and never have to get to plan b, because I know that your plan A can always work. I need to expect it, and you will be faithful. Thank you for always being faithful.

Cryfest 2005

2005-03-10T21:56:00.000-08:00

I don’t cry very often anymore. As a kid I cried all the time about the littlest things. I was so passionate about sports that I cried when I got scored on in soccer (I was the goalie). I cried when I struck out in baseball (I didn’t very often). I just hated disappointing others and knew I myself could do better. Since middle school, my crying time has been very limited. I grew out of that hyper emotional state, to the man you see now. I hate to cry, and I hate it when people around me cry. The time I really remember crying was at my wedding. It was the end of an era, and therefore sad, yet extremely happy at the same time. Besides that I can only recall two other crying times in the past few years. Both of them happened to revolve around baseball. In 98 I balled when mark mcgwire hit #62. Then in this decade I cried each time the Yankees won the world series. If I had to average it all out I would say that I am good for one cry a year. Tonight I held cryfest 2005.

Let me caution you fellow bloggers with this. Beware, your parents could possibly read your blog. Be sure they don’t find out important stuff by reading your blog. Lets say, for instance, you get engaged. Don’t write it in your blog until you tell your parents face to face, or if you must over the phone. I made this mistake in my post “Home is where your heart is.” Tonight I called my parents happy to tell them all of the great strides we are making in adulthood, and to let them in on this condo purchasing talk. They were all ready keen on most of it. I hadn’t thought that through completely. That wasn’t all there was to it though.

I love my parents so very much. It pains me everyday to be 3000 miles and 500 dollars away from them. I guess for them hearing about out home buying escapades added one more level of permenance to our separation. They, being the loving parents that they are, reminded me of how much they love me and Mellissa, all the while compounding the guilt that we feel for living this far away. None of this intentional of course, they are just being honest. But it wasn’t even the guilt that got to me. I feel that my spiritual calling in a way trumped that. I know the Lord wants me here, so I blame him for the distance between my parents and myself.

The thing that really got to me is when my dad stumbled over his words and they came out, not quite how he meant them. He said that I was not his son anymore. That wasn’t what he meant to get across, but he was trying to let me know how much he missed me. The thing that really gets me, even now is that I feel the same way. I miss them more than anything I have ever missed in my life. They mean the absolute world to me and it literally hurts my heart that we have to be apart. Just the thought of not seeing them as often as I would like makes me so sad. I want to be that son who my mom dreams about. The one who comes over with his family for Sunday dinner. That would be a dream come true. Coming to terms with that is the hard part. It is an irreconciliable difference. I cannot be there, because I know the Lord has me here. They can’t be here because that is where there life is. There is nothing I can do. Tonight I came to terms with that and it break my heart.

Mellissa rubbed my back as I cried into my pillow. It took about 20 minutes. I felt better afterwards. I am glad that I dealt with that. Here’s what I want to say to the most important people in my life.

Mellissa – thanks for being my partner, and my support. My life would have only a fraction of the joy I have now if it weren’t to you.

Tribe/bloggers – I am here because God has me here. We better take full advantage of what he wants to do here through us. I refuse to waste this time. Lets change this place for the Kingdom.

Mom and Dad – I love you, miss you, and need you so much. I am so thankful and proud to be your son.

God – You are the most important on this list so I saved you for last. I am here for you, and live for you. Don’t let me miss out on your plan for my life. It is not worth living without it. I love you.

Peter, what a Dweeb

2005-03-09T10:59:00.000-08:00

Mark 16:7 – “Now go and give this message to his disciples, including Peter: Jesus is going ahead of you to Galilee. You will see him there, just as He told you before He died.”

This passage seemed pretty plain to me at first read, then I got to thinking about that little clause in the middle of it. The angel makes a point to include Peter in this announcement. This was a big deal.

If you saw the passion you remember the seen where Peter denies JC 3 times before the rooster crows. You can see the anguish on his face when he realizes what he had done. For all we know, the rest of the disciples weren’t treating him very well after this event. They were probably debating on what his fate should be. Should they continue to associate with Peter, who denied Christ when he needed him the most? These ladies probably new the story about peter and unless the angel had said something, they wouldn’t have even thought of sharing this good news with Peter. But God had another plan.

He specifically included Peter, and made sure that he was not separated form his disciples. He did everything he could to end division. He reinstated Peter at that moment. I am so thankful that he did because it gives schlubs like me a shot. As a result of reading this I want to make a better effort to love those who let me down, because it reminds me of how much I have let the Lord down, and how he still loves me. Mellissa doesn’t let me down to much, but I need be more loving of her whenever she does, rare as it is. I need to remember that mistakes don’t ruin god’s project. Otherwise I would have been ruined long ago.

Lord help me to be more forgiving, the way you are. I don’t just want to stop there. I want to be more like you in the way you got right past it, and continued to love people. Make me more like you.

Home Is Where Your Heart Is

2005-03-08T23:09:00.000-08:00

This post will contain little spiritual content. I just wanted to share what has been going on today. I dream of one day owning my own home. Be that a condo, or a house, I just want to be able to do that. Unfortunately, I live in just about the worst place in the country to do that. Tonight however we spent the night at my inlaws and decided to get much more proactive about buying a place. They want to help us out with that as they help themselves out with it. There thought is that placing money into real estate here in this part of the country is a better investment than their stocks have been, so they want to split the cost of a place with us and have a partnership setup. So we are putting wheels in motion that way. I am not sure what I am supposed to do with this. I feel almost childish, and certainly balless, having to split the cost of a place with my parents. I feel like this is not part of the leaving and cleaving process. I am just not sure that I care about that. Real estate is so weird here and extremely inflated, but it shows no signs of deflating, so what can you say about that.

All I can ask is that you would pray with s about this. I am feeling more and more drawn to this place for ministry everyday. Pray that God would give us wisdom as we go through this process. Pray that God would truly take care of us and our finances. I pray those things Lord, and ask you to prove yourself to be God again in my life.

A Quote from Ralph Moore

2005-03-07T23:50:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I posted on worship, and my heart in it. Here is a quote from a book that I am reading. It's by Ralph Moore and its called "Friends". The chapter is about needing to change the way we do services if we want the church to live in the GenX world. About worship he says this -

"Gen-Xers are not as prone to a polished presentation as previoous generations. A few guitars and a drum set will satisfy their need for sound. Young people would rather sings songs to God than about God. There is a new sense of mystery in the worship form of this generation. One of my staff members calls it "deep worship." Gen-Xers will sing a chorus or a verse over and over, allowing time to enter into the words and the music. The goal is to experience God's presence during worship rather than just make it an offering to Him. For many the encounter with God becomes the message. Bible teaching in this venue merely sets the stage for the experience."

I think he hit the nail on the head. This is a lot of what I was trying to say in my last post. To anyone who has an interest in ministry, and what ministry will need to look like in the next few years (or in some cases today) I would highly recomend this book. It has been teaching me a lot.

Worship 101

2005-03-06T23:52:00.000-08:00

My wife and I were talking about worship and worship leading the other yesterday. I had one of those quotable epiphanies as we discussed our concern with “the worship music industry”. I have long felt that worship has been missing something. That with all these great new songs coming out there is an emptiness in my heart. Something that leaves me longing the way the old songs never did. Over the years I attributed that to several things. Most notably I figured it was my tastes becoming older, and not appreciating the new things that God is doing. I am all ready a fan of flashback lunches on the radio, so why would worship music be any different.

Another though was that maybe I have just lost a small piece of my zeal, and don’t have the same passion that I used to. Songs don’t rock me the way they used to because my heart is not in the same place that it used to be. That’s just a couple of the thoughts that I assigned to my problem with worship as of late.

Don’t get me wrong I am not saying anything about my churches worship. This week alone was fantastic, and Gods presence was real. There are many songs that I still absolutely love, it just feels that there are less of them now than I remember their being before. So without further ado, I will present my thoughts on why I have a hard time with a large amount of the new music that is coming out nowadays.

Worship music almost appears to have turned a corner. It wasn’t a minor shift in style or anything insignificant like that. It is my opinion that the function of a worship song has changed. The function today of a worship song is to be worshipful words for a congregation to cry out to God. That is awesome. But I feel like the songs have left the realm in which I am more comfortable. I was raised on songs that’s sole purpose was to lead people into a worshipful encounter. So in one school of thought the song is the vehicle for worship and in the other the actions the song produces is the vehicle for worship. I hope that makes sense to somebody.

I come from a church experience where the worship objective was to meet God in a powerful and supernatural way and the worship music was a tool to bring that about. I miss that so much. I have old cds that are still great to me where you know that there is so much more happening than the simple son that’s being sung. That is how I lead worship to this day. I have said for quite a while that I would like to be a worship leader. I just don’t plan on being the lead musician. A pastor of a church should be the worship leader in the formal sense. There is so much for me to see about the Christian music industry, and anything that involves Christian paraphernalia. That’s a whole other blog entry. We had a great weekend at church this week. From the cool things going on in tribe to the time I had at our services. I want to see a breakthrough in worship in my own life. I want to fall in love with the music again, because of the frame of mind it drags me too. God help me to worship you more.

Silver not Gray

2005-03-06T01:40:00.000-08:00

25 down 50 (give or take) to go. Call me morbid, that’s just how I work. I think of it as being a realist. I spent surprisingly little time dwelling on my impending death today, as I normally do each time a birthday rolls around. I figure that I went through my third life crisis last year, so I am cool until 36. That one is going to be tough because it’s the half way point.

Someone shared with me tonight that life is like a jump off the empire state building. When you first go you feel like you will be falling forever, but once you get a little ways into it you realize that it is all going pretty darn quick. That hit me at right around 20, and from what I hear it gets even quicker from here on out.

To tell you the truth, I am not real sure how I am supposed to be feeling. Not just about my birthday, but about my life as a whole. If I am being completely honest, I feel like I am at a pretty good place all in all. I think my goal in growing up (and I am officially grown up now, I can rent a car. In fact I can do anything I want with the exception of being the US President) was just not to disqualify myself from reaching my full potential. I wanted to be able to not have anything that I looked back on and regretted. It is funny but I feel like our generation no longer believes in regret. I really don’t think I have ever heard someone seriously say that they regret a major life decision that they had made. My generation has bought into this idea that all the bad stuff in our lives make us who we are today, and that we wouldn’t want to change that. Never mind, that so many of us don’t like the people that we are. That has always been a pet peeve. If I ever ask you what you regret most about your life, don’t tell me nothing. That is the most phony thing you can say. I understand that those mistakes played a role in your life turning out the way it did, but I know in your heart that you would do anything to have a few of those life decisions back.

For me, If I had to chose just one thing that I wish I could have back, it would be the way I treated my brother. He is not in a very good place right now, and has such abnormal behavior in his life that I can’t help but feel partly responsible. I wasn’t exactly your dream brother. We fought a lot, and I played some pretty dirty tricks on him. I remember once telling him that my parents wish that he had never been born. I think I told my parents about this before, and I know that I apologized to him the next day. I feel so terrible about ever convincing him about that. That’s the part of me that feels bad, and regrets my actions towards him.

I have a lot of other uninteresting things that I regret dong in my life, but my point in all this is that I do not feel disqualified. I can honestly say that 18 year old Thomas couldn’t have dreamed of things being this good. I am so excited about this second 1/3 of my life. I won’t even bother to dream what my life will look like at 50. I will trust that the Lord has it planned out. That’s good enough for me.

My Tribe

2005-03-05T00:55:00.000-08:00

Thanks for making tribe work tonight guys. It is so good to feel gods presence. Pray that we can see it tomorrrow night too.

Exauted (Tired but Stoked)

2005-03-03T23:18:00.000-08:00

Thats how I am feeling right now. I spent 10 hours cooped up in my little office today, and that doesn't include staff meetings and a couple trips home. I have so much work right now (and what appears to be forever). I finished putting together my sermon for this weekend just a few minutes ago. All that not to complain, but to decompress and let you know that I am anticipating this to be an amazing weekend. Tomorrow night at tribe we are planning on having a "prayer and worship night". Basically that boils down to a few extra songs and a time of circling around anyone who needs or wants prayer.
To those of you in my tribe let me say this: I want to see us really taste and see that God is really good. I am expecting tongues and prophecy and words and even healings tomorrow night. I want you all to be prepared and expect some of that kind of stuff to hapen. As we worship, lets not be ashamed, and be sensitive for exactly what God is calling us to do. Ask him what position of worship to take - knees? hands up? prostrate? Ask him if he has a word he wants you to share, or a healing he wants to preform through you. Lets prepare our hearts and expect the closest encounter we have ever had with our God. Why would he not want to do that? So the point is be ready, and make it your responsibility to break the silence and step out in ministry.
I am stoked about my message for saturday night too. You can be praying that I can be an effective mouthpiece for my God. God wants to reclaim some of his people, and I am praying that he would do that on Saturday night.
Join me, and expect big things this weekend. I want to live in that way all the time, starting now.

The Prayer Lifestyle

2005-03-02T15:37:00.000-08:00

Mark 9:28-29 – They asked him, “Why couldn’t we cast out that evil spirit?”
Jesus replied, “This kind can only be cast out by prayer (and fasting).”
*
The funny thing about this story is that Jesus appears to be stating something completely false. In this story of Jesus casting out the demon, it makes no mention of him either praying or fasting. He speaks to the demon and tells him to get out. It doesn’t specifically say that he ate, so maybe that was the case and it was just left out by the author.
More likely however, is that Jesus was talking about a lifestyle that allowed him to have the power to cast out demons. I shared yesterday about 4 areas of my life where I need to shape up. One of them was my prayer life. It seems to me that prayer and fasting need to be taking place all the time in order to equip us to do the work that God wants us to do. It is not enough to pray and fast on specific occasions for particular things. That isn’t bad, but Jesus required something else here in this passage. He needed the Holy Spirit’s power and that power was born in his lifestyle of prayer and fasting. I need to take that to heart.
*
God today I am focusing on praying more. Keep reminding me. Help me to life a prayer lifestyle so that I am prepared when your power is needed. I don’t want to have to change my lifestyle when you want to do something. I want to be constantly available. Help me.

Living Vicariously

2005-03-01T22:35:00.000-08:00

Mark 8:27-29 - "Who do people say I am?"

"Well," they replied, "some say John the Baptist, some say Elijah, and others say you are one of the other prophets."

Then Jesus asked, "Who do you say I am?"

This is kind of funny, but I will post it anyway. I thought I had a major revelation with this verse, and I spent a lot of time meditating on it, only to find out that I misread it. I thought Jesus repeated himself completely, asking who peter said he was twice. I was trying to make the point that Peter answered on behalf of other people instead of giving is on opinion. That is not in fact what happened, but I do believe that the truth that I learn from that non scriptural revelation still applies.

I so often live my Christian life vicariously through others. I am read scripture, in light of how the verses I read can affect others. I take others philosophy of ministry, and thoughts on god and make them my own. The truth is that often I feel like I miss out on what God wants to communicate to me personally. Honestly I dont remember the last time that I have heard the Lord speak to me about me. Thats not true, I have. It is just easier for me to ignore what he says about my life and impose lessons I have learned on others.

I feel like in the spirit of openness, I should list some of the things that God shows me that I continually ignore.

1. I have lost my heart of a servant. I had it at one point and now dont see it. I want to worship God again through service, and believe me, he wants me to do that too.

2. I need to get my selfish ambition out of the way. I so often see things through the lens of personal success rather than kingdom success.

3. I need to do a better job of loving people. I need to value people the way God does. I need to be a better listener to others. This is the real reason that friends are different as seen in the last post. It has nothing to do with that friendship quota crap.

4. I am falling short in my prayer life. I started that prayer list page in hopes of it helping that, but it hasnt worked out very well. I need to be a prayer.

Thats a big enough list. Thats enough to work on for this year.

God remind me of this list constantly throughout my day. I want to not just hear you but obey. I have fallen short. I have written these things on my hand. Write them on my heart. I want more of you, and I know from experience that more requires that I do the things I have all ready been called to do. I am sorry I havent. Help me to stop externalizing your word.

I want to stop living vicariously through others and let Him live vicariously through me.

Help a Brother Out

2005-02-28T15:35:00.000-08:00

Guys, do me a favor and help out Sam. Post a comment in response to his burining question.
Sam's Burning Question

The Art of Growing Up

2005-02-28T15:05:00.000-08:00

Sean Penn was sitting four rows in front of me on the plane last week. I was in the front of coach class, and he was in the front of a very small first class. I realized he was married to Forrest Gump’s girl, Jenny. I had never been around a famous person for quite that long before. I have spoken to basketball players, and seen movie stars. Heck I even bussed sir Elton John’s table once. This time I was trapped in a flying capsule with a star for around five hours. He didn’t look as glamorous as one would expect. Not that Sean Penn is one of the more glamorous stars out there. It was an interesting experience.
During the whole flight I found myself wondering, “what is Sean doing now?” I wondered if he ate the peanuts like we all did. Did he watch the same terrible movie that we did? Besides being in first class was he just as uncomfortable as we were? During the whole flight there was a slight buzz from the crew and the passengers around him. I must have heard “Sean Penn” whispered a dozen times. After the flight we were walking out to the street and happened to be right beside him as they scurried along, trying to go unnoticed. They skipped the baggage claim area, and went directly out to await their ride home.
This little encounter, or lack thereof taught me something about myself. I do not treat all people equally. I am not real sure how I learned it. I think my thought process went something like this.

Wow there’s Sean Penn

It must be cool to be Sean Penn

I would love to be his friend

Wait a minute Sean Penn isn’t that different from me

He has to deal with the same junk I do

His life is just as significant as mine or the homeless persons

Why do I value him higher

Would Jesus

No

I am not sure if this is rational to anyone else but it was deeply convicting to me. It reminded me of one of our core values at tribe. Dare I say it be THE core value. If tribe does nothing else our goal is to see it build relationships.
But I am locked in an internal debate around this question. Here is my concern. Can relationships of real intimacy, the kind of intimacy you had with childhood friends, be formed this late in life? Or is friend making like language learning – only easy when you are young? Are we programmed to lose this ability when we hit a certain age, or have made a certain amount of friends? DO we start out our life with a certain allotment of friend making – you can make 7 close friends and then you are done? I have to believe that this is not the case, but a lot of evidence points this way. Truth is I know it just take a lot more work.
And I still want tribe to breathe this. It is the reason why we exist and the best platform on which to reach our spiritual goals. Just because it is hard, doesn’t mean that I will give up. To all who are reading this, don’t take it the wrong way. I want your friendship so badly. I have been reading all about church planting lately, and everything tells me that it has to be done with intimate relationships. I am really desiring those. Not just to plant a church, but more because that is how I enjoy life.
Long story short – I am deeply confused by the art of growing up.
Love you guys and hope that our relationships continue to grow.

Your Blog...Doggystyle

2005-02-28T00:38:00.000-08:00



One of the funniest things I have ever seen. You put in your web adress (try it on your blog, its a riot) and it converts the text into snooponics.

Beware of mild explatives.

  Give it a trizzle.  That's Hizzle.

I Got ID

2005-02-27T23:54:00.000-08:00

We got up at 4:30 in the morning. Mellissa’s dad was at our front door a few minutes before five. We spent an hour and a half trying on our way to the airport. We exchange hugs and make our way to the line. We get to the desk and everything is going swimmingly. The Lady behind the counter asks for ID’s. Mellissa’s demeanor changes from excitement to terror in a matter of 30 seconds. She frantically scours places in her purse that her wallet could not be, knowing that it could not be there. The simple laws of physics prevent a wallet of that size from being stuffed into a pocket in the lining of a small purse. But she looked there anyway. Part of it was insincere. She knew she didn’t have the wallet. She was starting to remember that she paid the bills late the night before and didn’t recall putting the wallet back into the bag. She was looking for my benefit and for the lady behind the counters. She felt the more shocked she appeared the more likely that the consequence would be waived. After a little explaining and a little begging, they let us get on the plane. We were both surprised. We thought for sure that the trip was as good as over.

I being the good husband that I am had little reaction besides the shaking of my head in disapproval. In the end we made it to Hawaii unscathed. But the issue didn’t end there. Due to a series of holidays we were unable to get the ID sent to Hawaii in time for the return flight. So during the whole trip Mellissa was living in constant stress of things not going quite as well on that side of the lake. She almost couldn’t enjoy one of the most amazing places on earth because of the constant burden weighing on her. Will they let me on the plane this way? Will I get stuck in Hawaii with my in-laws? She didn’t know and it changed the whole experience.

Ephesians 1:13 says “And when you believed in Christ, he identified you as his own by giving you the Holy Spirit…”. That is our ID. It is issued by Christ himself, and it is carried by us in the form of the Holy Spirit. We can live out our life with joy if we have our ID. We need not fear failure if we have our ID. We have authority when we have our ID. We need not worry about our trip to the other side when we have our ID. I need to live out every day of my life with my ID. God help me to do that!

My lips are shakin’
My nails are bit off
It’s been a month since I’ve heard myself talk
All advantage this life’s got on me
Picture a cup in the middle of the sea

- Eddie Vedder of Pearl Jam in his song “I Got ID”

I'm not so sure he did.

Saving Face

2005-02-26T15:29:00.000-08:00

Numbers 20:11 – Then Moses raised his hand and struck the rock twice with the staff, and water gushed out. So all the people and their livestock drank their fill.

We spent a lot of time on this passage in Bible College. The story goes on to tell about God being angry with Moses for hitting the rock when all he commanded him to do was speak to it. Sadly this little blunder is the reason that Moses never gets to see the promised land. Not the getting mad and smashing the 10 commandments, nor the killing of a slave drive back in Egypt. The thing that keeps Moses out of the promised land is beating up on a rock. I don’t want to get into the reasoning of God on this subject. It seems weird to me, but he is God for a reason, and this disobedience must have really upset him. Others would argue that this was written by Moses and so he tried to minimize his sins in this way. I am willing to take it at face value.

The thing that sparks my interest is why in the heck water came out of that rock. Moses didn’t follow gods instructions, and God clearly wasn’t with him in his striking of the rock, so why did the miracle just not work. It seems to me that this would have been the most appropriate response on Gods part. “You don’t obey me, I won’t empower you.” This is what should have happened in the story. Moses should have beaten the rock…and that’s it. Maybe he would try it again and then realize that God said to speak to it and finally get it right after a couple of embarrassing moments.

But God is so big, he must have known the consequences of this, and chosen to do otherwise. Maybe if Moses had failed just once he would have completely lost the respect of all of his followers. So God in his wisdom, made it work for him, saving Moses some face, and keeping his people for the time being. That is all supposition on my part. We can’t be sure to know what God was doing here, but I need to trust that it was good. I hope he does the same thing in my life. I am sure I will sin in my future, and that could possibly jeopardize all that God wants to do in my life. I pray that he would save me some face, and continue to use me, however he sees fit. I don’t want to take his grace for granted, I just want to be covered by it.

God pour your grace upon me even though I don’t deserve it. I sin too much. Treat me like Moses. Punish me for my sins, but don’t let the punishment ruin my ministry, and all that you want to do in me. I will take anything other than that. Bringing you glory is the most important thing in my life. Give me grace enough to do it. That’s Hot.

We Were on a Break

2005-02-26T00:37:00.000-08:00

Well I am back and my goal is to ease back into blogging. It is tough to go from no blogging at all back to 500 words a day or whatever I used to write. Let me take a second to bring you up to speed.

I just got back from Hawaii late last night. It was a great time. For the first time I am really an adult, and didn’t try to get together with all my old friends when I was back in town. I played tourist. We went out to eat every meal (thanks mom and dad…maybe I am not as adult as I would like to think), we hung out on the beach and just vegetated for 8 days. The sad thing is that I pretty much took a vacation from Christianity. I say Christianity in a strict sense. I don’t mean that I sinned for 8 days uncontrollably, or even that I didn’t appear to be a Christian. Heck I even read 2 pastoring books while I was there. I just didn’t center my life around my God, which was surprisingly easy and painless. I say surprisingly, because I’d think that all my joy would have been snapped, because God was trying to teach me what my life is worth without him, but no I had a great time. I am ready to get back to life, and I’m excited to get back to seeing what God has in store for me each day again. I don’t really know what to make of all this. I am still processing. Just know this – I am back and ready to blog

God I am back, sorry for leaving you out, I think. Maybe you are teaching me something. But I want to make it clear that I am hungry for you. Thanks meeting me 99 percent of the way.

A Vacation From My Problems!

2005-02-15T21:08:00.000-08:00

Well tribe, and company. It has been an amazing 46 days of continual blogging, and thats a lot. I am writing this to say that I am just about to leave for hawaii (I know its rough) and am not sure about the blogging conditions there. I will try to get a few posts up, but I can't guarantee them to be daily. This is the verse I am praying for this trip:
Psalm 26:8 - I love your sanctuary Lord, the place where your glory shines.
Help me to live in that.
See you guys in a week. Stay dry. (mwuhahaha)

Learning how to Climb

2005-02-14T23:42:00.000-08:00

Psalm 24:3-4 –

Who may climb the mountain of the LORD? Who may stand in his holy place?
Only those whose hands and hearts are pure, who do not worship idols and never tell lies.

This whole Psalm really jumped out at me. I am convinced that a great song could be written using just the interlude of this psalm. But more than anything this verse stood out to me. It kind of went along with a passage I read in Leviticus today as well. The passage told the story of a young man who blasphemed the Lord. No word on what he said, but the community could not exist with something like this within it so the Lord ordered him to be stoned. I find that I have been writing on this topic a lot lately.

I figured that the reason for that is an overall tolerance for sin. I don’t hate my sin. The problem is when I think about this verse all that pops into my mind is the sins of others, and how they might be separating our generation from what God wants to do. Be that as it may, I need to take the plank out of my own eye first. I need to really hate sin in my own life. I would lose my job if I were completely open here and the right people read it. When you hear that statement you think I must be in some kind of horrible sin. Involved in a secret lifestyle of some kind, but that is not what I am talking about. My sin however needs to be seen in my own eyes as horrible. I have bought into the lie that I only have small sins, but the truth of the matter is that there really is no such thing. They all break Gods heart and separate me from him. The way I tell lies of convenience, the way I speak poorly about others to build myself up. Those are just a couple. I want more of God and he wants more of me, so I will start by doing my best to give him this.

God I need your help. I can’t do this on my own. My prayer is that you would show me the areas of my life that break your heart. Help me to hat them the way you do. I want to bring you more worship in this way, by keeping your boundaries. You are worth it.

Something Worth Living For

2005-02-13T23:09:00.000-08:00

Acts 20:24 - But my life is worth nothing unless I use it for doing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus – the work of telling others the good news about Gods wonderful kindness and love.

Thomas’ Personalized Paraphrase

The Life that I live now is meaningless. I am a complete waste of space, and good for nothing. There is no reason for me to live…unless I use it in service to God. I need to get out there and stop wasting my life and tell people about God. Not just about him, but about how relationship with him is once again available. He truly is so loving and kind to make something like this possible.

God help me to live accordingly. Use me to increase your worship by adding to your kingdom. I really am worthless without you. In light of that fact help me to find my worth in you. If you could use anything Lord, you could use me.

Provide or Change Me, Either Way

2005-02-12T11:44:00.000-08:00

Psalm 13:1, 5, 6

Oh Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever? How long will you look the other way? But I trust in your unfailing love. I will rejoice because you have rescued me. I will sing to the Lord because he has been so good to me.

I relate to David here. Of course my problems are few compared to the issues he is addressing. I am so quick to say or think that the Lord has left, or is not with me. I hate to say it but it is kind of like that cheesy “footprints” story. I am in a situation involving our finances and my attitude so far has been like that of David in the first verse. Am I going to have to deal with this kind of crap forever?

But I need to adjust my attitude the way that David did. Even though things may seem a little tough I need to worship the Lord and rejoice and know that he is going to be rescuing me. It is as good as done. He will take care of me. I need to trust him.

A friend of mine prayed for my circumstances lat night, and he prayed interestingly. I have spent all of my time praying for god to provide, but he chose to pray that God would do what he is trying to do. That we would learn what he is teaching us, and that God would resolve it in his time. That is my prayer too. I want what he wants, and until I get that, I will sit back and trust him.

God I trust you. Provide. But even more than that, change me. I give you permission. I want more of you. As we go to see our tax guy today, do something. Provide or teach, or both. I want you more than the result.

A Strapping Young Man

2005-02-11T23:58:00.000-08:00

I have two Jobs. Truth is I have never had a full time job before. This is not to say that I don't work full time now. I do, just not all at one place. I was talking with some guys from my tribe tonight, and we were talking about work and worship and how we can worship at work (funny thing is that I am preaching on this exact topic tomorrow night). I shared that I am good at serving the Lord in one sense at my job. That one sense is doing everything I can to win my coworkers with the gospel. At the same time I really suck at worshipping the Lord at work in another sense. That sense is working with excellence. I am called to work as hard for my boss as I would if it were JC himself.
I am not a terrible employee, there are just some small things that I don't do, just because I don't want to, and this should not be. The one thing that comes to mind is rolling straps. I drive a delivery truck for a machine shop (which happens to be run by my father in law which makes worship extra difficult). We have these filthy oil soaked straps that we use to tie everything down that we transport. At one point theses straps were a solid bright yellow. Now they are a frayed, steel splinter infested, and two shades short of being black. I hate rolling those dang things. They give me splinters, they get the grossest shop grease all over my hands, and the worst thing is that I am the only one who does it. Every time I come to work and the truck had been used, all the straps would be wadded up in a heap/knot, ready for me to get dirty and splintered. I hate them.
But I know what my mission is now. I need to be excellent in the way of the straps as well. I am sorry if this does not make sense to you, but it is a calling I have. How can I preach on this tomorrow if I don't live it the day before. So tomorrow morning, I am going to get up and go out to the truck and wind up the straps that I piled up. I am not looking forward to it, but I have to believe that the Lord will be pleased by that.
*
Lord help me to worship you at work. Show me ways that I can have more integrity at work, and bring you more worship. I am sorry for not representing you quite as much as I could.

The Unknown God

2005-02-10T18:02:00.000-08:00

Acts 17:23 – “for as I was walking along I saw your many altars. And one of them had this inscription on it – 'To an Unknown God.' You have been worshiping him without knowing who he is, and now I wish to tell you about him.”
*
Sometimes I feel like I am just praying to myself. I say my prayers but I don’t really even think of who I am praying to or what he did for me. I will sit in my room and make my requests, with no thought into who I am actually praying to. Does this matter? It is like talking to a person, But I have fallen into such a rut in some ways that it is more like am talking to myself.
I realize that this is not what this verse is really talking about, but I asked myself this question after reading this. Do I worship and pray to him and not really know who he is? How often do I do that in my times of worship. I say the words, but how many of them are actually directed to God. How many of them are sung the same way I would sing I saw the sign by ace of bass. It takes some real intense concentration to really mean the words you say, whether it be prayer or song.
God deserves that. I am not very good at paying attention. Maybe it is years of exposure to video games, or maybe it is my diet that consists of unhealthy amounts of sugar, but I for one am not really paying attention to what I am saying most of the time. I respond out of habit. I am sure that I will do this again, but I know that I am saying right now that no response to my Lord should be out of habit or routine. He is worth so much more to me than that. I want to cease using meaningless mumbo jumbo and tell him exactly what I mean. He deserves my focus and my attention even more than that. From today on I will do my best to be even more real before him. He is worth it.
*
God I know that even in this space I have written prayers that mean nothing to me. Don’t let this be one. I am sorry for doing that. Your death and your love for me makes this worth it. Forgive me for not esteeming you higher. Help me to focus on you better. Teach me. I have often concluded with a short statement of worship, but today I mean it more than ever…I am yours.

Getting out of God's Way

2005-02-09T20:49:00.000-08:00

Acts 16:4-5 - Then they went from town to town, explaining the decision regarding the commandments that were to be obeyed, as decided by the apostles and elders in Jerusalem. So the churches were strengthened in their faith and grew daily in numbers.

The Lord is showing me the opposite side of the coin today, as opposed to what he was showing me yesterday. Yesterday I was feeling the importance of not holding the non believer to the standards we hold believers to. That is very true, but I feel like this verse clearly shows the importance of holding the believers accountable to the lifestyle they are supposed to live.

A few weeks ago a friend of mine and I got into a conversation about sin in the church. Basically the idea we were wrestling with was – Does our sin as a church (I mean the church in general, not a specific church) hold us back from the mighty and amazing things that God wants to do? Does our pride, and gossip, and sexual immorality, and all of our lies cause God to delay whatever he has planned? I thought this to be true and when I look at this verse I am convinced.

If I remember correctly from yesterday the “decision regarding the commandments to be obeyed was that the believers could not eat a few different foods, and couldn’t be sexually immoral. What we see here is that when Paul and Silas present this truth to the church, it is warmly received, and then God started a mini revival. If we look at this we see that the only precursor to a revival is Paul preaching a repentance from sin. The church needs to take this seriously. We need to stop worrying about the sin in our culture, for a little while at least, and focus on the problems in our church. If we can just get those under control, I believe we could expect God to show up and take care of the non believers by the power of his holy spirit, which we no longer quench since our turn from our sins. I’ll be praying about this, but the bottom line is that we can’t tolerate sin from ourselves, and to some extent our Christian family.

Help me to be full of Love and Grace, but still have a great desire to see you worshiped by people keeping your rules. I don’t want to be part of preventing your revival for my generation. Let me be a promoter not a hindrance. I want it so badly, so consider this a prayer asking you to revive my county also. Help me to be as relevant to my generation as Jesus was to his.

Turning on a Dime

2005-02-08T10:00:00.000-08:00

Acts 15:19 – “It is my judgment, therefore, that we should not make it difficult for the Gentiles who are turning to God.”

How am I at this? Do I make it difficult for the gentiles who are turning to God? Paul here says this in a specific context. He is saying it at a meeting of the apostles and elders of the whole church, and they are discussing whether or not Gentiles can even be Christians. They conclude that they could, and that it would be best to not make it to difficult for them. They didn’t even require them to follow the Law of moses with the exception of a few major laws. Three of them are dietary restrictions, and the final one is to abstain from sexual immorality.

One interesting thing that I believe the Lord is showing me here is that this all came after they became Christians and received the Holy Spirit. God was all ready filling and using these guys, even though they didn’t know any better about the sexual immorality. It was all part of their culture. The point is that God saved those who were living wrong. My thought is that as Christians we shouldn’t care at all about how perverse unbelievers are. That’s all part of our culture. When we share the good news with them we should limit it to that…the good news (see my posts from last week for a definition of good news). This is not to say that we trick them into the faith, saying they can do whatever they want, but we need to stop caring so much about how pagans live their lives and worry more about how those who currently are witnesses live their lives. I need a change in my heart in this way.

Lord help me to be most disgusted by the plank in my own eye. I have a lifetime of my own sins to control and be forgiven of. Let me never confuse the Gospel with the Law, because the two have never coexisted. Let the church grieve deeply for their sins, but for the Lost I pray that you would help me to be not judgmental. Help me to be a better communicator of the Gospel. I want desperately to increase your worship, not necessarily make the world a holier place. I’ll let you take care of that.

Be Posted!

2005-02-07T23:22:00.000-08:00

Acts 14:10 - So Paul called to him in a loud voice, "Stand up!" And the man jumped to his feet and started walking.

I have never tried this. Someone pointed out to me not to long ago that no one in the bible ever prays for people to be healed, they just tell them to be healed. Paul didn’t even say in Jesus’ name. I have never given this a shot. Maybe I have become too formulaic in the way I pray for things. Maybe the idea of healing people matters more about the spirit and the faith in your heart than it does the exact words that you speak. In fact I would have to think that this might be the case. God has used me to heal a few people in my life, and never have I tried to do it just by yelling and believing in my heart the way that Paul did. I very rarely nowadays get a shot to say these kinds of prayers to people.

I would like to say that my application for this verse would be to get out there and just do it, but that is scary. It takes some major guts to just get out there and yell at somebody to do something they can’t do, and expect God to do some amazing stuff. But I feel like I need to try. On my prayer list I have a guy named joe up there. Keep praying for him. Lately however he has been complaining about some leg pain. I hope that next time he has the guts, maybe I can just say…be healed and see what happens, but then again it still has little to do with what I say. I could probably yell, “nuprin is yellow” and get the same results if I have faith that God is going to do something. But for this first try, I will stick with - be healed, or something like it.

Lord give me the faith to see something like this work. I want to see your power change peoples lives. Give me the boldness to actually put you out there to prove yourself to those around me. Help me to trust you more.

The Moody Generation

2005-02-06T22:42:00.000-08:00

Acts 13:52 – And the disciples were filled with joy and with the Holy Spirit.

The thing about this verse is that it is taken from a segment about the persecution of the disciples. They were getting chased down and some were getting killed, and this is their response. When I read this I get to thinking about my moodiness. How can I even come close to justifying being not joyful, when I live in such a peaceful little world? I deal with nothing that these guys had to go through, yet I get depressed, and in bad moods. In many areas of my life I am missing the joy of the Lord.

Don’t get me wrong, I am a pretty even keel guy. I don’t have huge mood swings, but I know myself better than anyone with the exception of God. I am not as joyful as I may come across. This week even I was feeling like I was in a bit of a funk, and no matter of praise could break me out of it. My question is whether or not this problem is new to the world? Did people in Jesus time have the psychiatric problems that we have today? Why is it that Jesus never does anything about these kinds of issues in scripture? Did they just not talk about that kind of stuff?

I don’t want to get to deep into the questioning. I realized today that my blog needs more application ideas, so my application is to, note when my mood appears to be lacking joy, and get down and pray for God to fix that. He wants me to be filled with joy and the Holy Spirit, so what is keeping him from doing something about it? Me. I am keeping him from giving me his joy, and I don’t want to stand in the way of that.

God, I want your joy. Please give it to me. Show me times where your joy is missing in my life, and remind me to get on my knees at those times. Life is so much better when I live in just the shadow of your joy.

Missed Opportunities

2005-02-05T11:55:00.000-08:00

I am such a chicken. I had one of those experiences today where I was confident that the Lord was calling me to do something, and I couldn’t get the guts up to do it. Usually it is just for me to go and talk to somebody specific, and I wuss out for some reason or another. But today he had a big assignment for me. There is a guy at our church named Jason who has been going through a tough time, but has seen Gods power in his life really straightening out. We had a great time of prayer for him, and he was crying and God was doing something. I prayed for God to use me to give him a word or something. He did. I felt compelled to read a segment from acts chapter 8 (the story of Philip baptizing the eunuch) and encourage him to make today his day, and be baptized. The spirit was flowing and He probably would have done it. But I couldn’t follow through with it. I was afraid of being rejected, and looking like a dummy.

Since that time, a little over an hour ago, I have replayed that scene in my mind several times. I am a bit angry with myself. I didn’t follow through when the lord gave me the work I asked for. Not only that, Jason could have had a life changing experience and a powerful testimony, and I stole that from him. I know that this experience is not lost forever for him, but I just feel bad for not following through with what I was to do. Thank God for his forgiveness.

Lord help me to follow through when you give me a task. Especially when you give me a task that I ask for. I repent for missing the boat here. I pray you would restore Jason and change his life sooner rather than later, despite my shortcomings. I know you will, your plan is bigger than me. Please trust me again, I still want to be used, and restore me. Help me to live my life as a sacrifice to you.

Acceptable for Worship

2005-02-04T23:20:00.000-08:00

Psalm 19:14 - May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart be pleasing to you, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer.

God has graced me with the ability to see scriptures theological concepts in totally new lights lately. This verse in no exception. My whole life, or for at least as long as I can remember, I have known this verse and lived under its shadow. I just never really understood it before. The word that is used for pleasing in most translations is acceptable. I just never understood what that word meant.

If you are not careful, you can easily interpret this verse to mean, “have clean thoughts, have clean speech.” But it appears to mean much more than that. Our requirement to God is even greater than that. We are to please him with our words and our thoughts. They are not only to be tolerable to him but to be acceptable in terms of worship to him. I have often made my speech tolerable, not bad, but certainly not good. God wants more than that. It goes into so many areas of my life. God has been showing me that he just really wants to be worshipped. I want to bring it to him.

Lord help me to give you more worship. Keep this truth burning in my heart. Keep teaching me the way you have been. I am excited to see just one more place where I have missed out on your true message. I want to worship you more. Help me to bring you more glory. Help me to live in our relationship. I love you.

A Quick Post

2005-02-03T17:33:00.000-08:00

I am glad that this blog is all about being open. I am sure it is weird for a lot of you to see how messed up someone on our church staff is, but that is what goes with openess. I have been preparing for my sermon for a few hours the past couple days, and I was just not feelin it. I am not sure what it was, there was just no life to it. Then I came to realize that the whole thing was comming together out of my own efforts. I have spent very little time if any asking God to guide me. Not only does the sermon stink so for, but on top of that I feel like crap. I essentially wasted 2 days, by not allowing the Lord to be my provider. SO that is why my post is going to be short today. I need to get my first things first. Let me just say thanks to all you guys for making this a great month and 3 days of spiritual growth, and that it feels so good to be part of a tribe. I can say this amd really mean it - I love you all, thanks for building me up. - thomas

The Sabbath and Much More

2005-02-02T14:12:00.000-08:00

Exodus 34:21 – Six days are set aside for work, but on the Sabbath day you must rest, even during the seasons of plowing and harvest.
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God really cares about this whole resting thing. As I have been reading Exodus, the theme seems to come up over and over again. On top of that I have been reading a book on finances and it has a whole section of the Sabbath and how it relates to finances.

In the time of the exodus, when these things were written, it was unheard of to work only 6 days out of the week. Weekends were not a reality. In Egypt, they worked non-stop, especially the Jews, who were slaves 7 days a week. Then God changed all of that. The question that stands out is “Do you trust me enough to provide for you in six days as much as you could make for yourself in seven. The answer to this question should be yes.

Enter my circumstance. If you have been reading my blog you know we are in a financial crunch. This week in order to put a dent in our debt, I decided to work on Mondays for my father in law. These were normally my day off, but we need the extra dough. Is this an example of me not trusting the Lord to provide for us in six days? Maybe, but I also see that I am in a special circumstance. My job isn’t like other peoples jobs. I work at a church. I pretty much have Saturday and Sunday off, I just have to be at church on those days, and sometimes play a role in the service. It is kind of work, but at the same time not. Look at Jesus he “worked” by healing people on the Sabbath. How is running a church service different than that? I am not sure what a guy is to do.
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Lord, I know you could provide for me in 6 days more than I could make in 7. I am not sure if what I am doing is wrong. I ask for your direction. I am willing to go for it either way. I know you will meet all of my needs, and I trust you. Help me to live the way you want me to live. Give me wisdom.

2005-02-01T23:31:00.000-08:00

I chose this to be my new background for my computer. I just thoght it was beautiful. That and my wife and I got engaged on that island. I am such a romantic...

The New Gospel

2005-02-01T23:01:00.000-08:00

Acts 8 – The phrase “Good News” (gospel) appears 5 times.

Why in the heck do we capitalize these words? I had never noticed that before but each time they appear in my NLT bible they are capitalized. For the past few days I have been on a kick to define the Christian Climax, what is the pinnacle of the Christian faith. Today I am faced with another facet of the same question. I realized today that I have bought into a falsehood that is common in our generation. This false hood is that the gospel is the “how to go to heaven” message. As good as that news is I don’t think it is "the" good news.

Like I was saying, this phrase appears 5 times in this one chapter. It appears nearly 100 in the New Testament, so I didn’t have time to cross reference each verse, but I took a look at a few of them and they appear to mean something other than the good news that I have been trained to accept. They for the most part appear to mean that the kingdom of God is beginning to be restored. The Good News is that no longer do we have to liven in a downward spiral called earth. We can now live in a regenerating world, because Jesus is bringing back the kingdom of God. The good news is all wrapped up in Jesus setting a chaotic world straight again. When the apostles preached the good news, this is what they were sharing.

Now what to do with this wisdom? I have been wrestling with these thoughts for a few days now and they are changing my whole perspective on Christianity. I am on God’s side, not mans, so I am going to share God’s gospel, not the gospel most convenient to man. For years I have been praying for a stronger heart for the lost. I think I missed the point there. Yes I am supposed to care about those who don’t know the Lord, but the center of my heart should be the Lord. I should have a heart for the Lord, who has an even greater heart for the lost than I possibly could. If I do I will be much more effective. Last entry I talked all about relationship, and I still believe that is what is at the center. I want to live in worship to God and see more people come into worship with God. I care very much that people are saved from hell, but the bottom line is that I am more concerned with God getting his due. He is my God, and therefore has rank. I will live my life for his true gospel, not the one most convenient to me. The Gospel must not be man centered as we have made it. It must be centered on God.

God I am out there for you. You are truly my best friend, and I want other people to be your best friend to. You are so good, and deserve it. Remind me to make you the center of my life. Help me to always share the true gospel, one that’s centered on you. Help me to live the true gospel, a life centered on you. You, yourself, (not what you do for me) truly are good news.

The Christian Climax

2005-01-31T20:08:00.000-08:00

Exodus 29:40 – “I am the one who brought them out of Egypt so that I could live among them. I am the Lord their God.”

This verse spoke to me today. This is found smack in the middle of all the instructions and dimensions of the tabernacle and all its paraphernalia. This little gem is found right in there. I feel like it shows how much the Lord values a relationship with us. He did all of that, the killing of the first born, the locusts, the darkness, the red sea, and on and on – why? To live with his people. He would stop at nothing to be in relationship with his people. Does he feel the same about me today? I have to believe that he does. The question of why I was saved has been going in my head ever since I read that verse about Joseph, and why God saved him in the end of genesis. Is there more to life than trying to be saved?

I heard on the radio this afternoon a preacher who was talking about how he prays for his children. He stressed that the most important thing for us to pray for in regards to our children is “for them to be saved at a young age.” I am just not sure if I buy this any more. Maybe we should rethink the way we pray for people. I want to see people get saved from the fire of hell, but even more than that I want to see God get his way. His way seems to be a relationship with his people. He will stop at nothing to get that. I know I have written a lot on this topic lately, but I can’t just skip by it. I have seen too many “saved” lives wasted. The bottom line is that God cares about relationship more than anything, so I am going to do the same. Even if you could the gospel and a lifelong relationship, I would still side with a relationship, because that is what he wants. So when little ruby or duke (my wife under no circumstances will allow me to name our son duke) come out, I am going to start saying prayers for them to be friends of God, and that they would do nothing in life but be his friend. This should be our real desire.

God, don’t let me get away with just applying this verse to those who I minister to. If I do this I miss the point. You want all of me too. I give you that, lets fall in love. I am open to it. Draw me unto yourself. Be my best friend. Help me to be a better one to you. At the same time, let me be careful with your gospel. You love to save people from hell but I have to believe that a relationship with them is even more important to you. I will preach this for the rest of my life. Help me to live it.

It's All About The Benjamins

2005-01-30T21:23:00.000-08:00

I have been reading a book called “Your Money”. Actually I just started today, and it has been good for me. The premise of the first chapter is that money is, at its essence, a medium for time. Money is earned by time spent. Whether a doctor, who delays the payment of his time until after his education, or a garbage man who can receive the benefit of his time with little other time invested, money is a medium for time. So if we take this a step further, since time is all we have in our life, money is really an exchangeable currency for the commodity of time. When we make a purchase, we are actually exchanging life for life.

Taking this principle to heart, we need to think about our finances in a new light, especially as disciples of Christ. Stealing, whether it be cheating on our taxes or getting involved in get rich quick schemes, is in essence robbing someone of their life. When we mishandle our own finances we are really wasting our life, which is the only commodity of any value to the Lord. I rarely discuss financial topics on my blog, but I was moved by this thought, in light of my current financial situation.

This week we were hit with a bit of a shocker. I picked up a copy of turbo tax and brought it home anxiously, hoping to file immediately and receive a return which would be used for our outstanding dental bill. To my shock I was hit with 2400 dollar debt, and various other underpayment penalties. It is life changing when you find yourself in debt. I couldn’t understand it. We filled out all of our tax paperwork properly, but we still didn’t have enough deducted. I always felt that I had a nose for financial wisdom. Outside of car debts I have never been in debt in my life, which is a huge blessing. Truth is that I now can relate to those who tell me what debt feels like. It feels like a huge weight on your shoulders, an unrelenting pressure.

So we are taking the responsible adult steps toward financial freedom. I had to pick up an extra day at my second job, we are on an entertainment-free budget, and we have an appointment with a CPA to see what options we have. I am just trying to process what God is doing here. Maybe its nothing – we just didn’t pay our taxes. But I have to believe that even though our ignorance led us into this problem, God is doing something. At the very least he is building character in us.

Lord, I ask you to make me better at managing my money. I have always felt I was good at it, but I know you have even more to teach me about it. I understand that at its essence it is my life in paper form. Build character in me between now and April 15^th. Provide for use like you promise to for those who love you. Help us to be financially prepared for the upcoming task of parenthood. I pray that you would bless us so that we can bless others. It’s all yours anyway. I want to serve you for the rest of my life in the area of my finances.

Foreign Empathy

2005-01-29T13:58:00.000-08:00

Exodus 9:10 – “Do not oppress the foreigners living among you. You know what it is like to be a foreigner. Remember your own experience in the land of Egypt.”
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I feel like there are so many ways I could apply this verse. This verse speaks of tolerance for those not like me. It talks about putting myself in the shoes of others, and treating them how I wish I was treated. The application that I see strongest helps me to understand what I saw at tribe last night.

Last week I wrote a post called seeker insensitivity. All week I have been thinking about what tribe should look like and how we cold be more inclusive of people who aren’t currently part of the tribe. In the post I talked about not being so seeker sensitive, but how I approach tribe where we have only had a few visits from “seekers” and they were left seemingly dazed and confused. So I ask the question, is it ok to not be seeker sensitive? God has been helping me to answer that question.

Last night at Tribe, I’d say we had just about our best meeting yet. It seemed that our vision that we had from the beginning was finally able to come around. Last night there were three guys who had never been to the meeting before. Normally this would have me freaking out wondering – “Do they understand what this word means? Do they feel comfortable with this situation? Are they freaked out about my freaky worship leading?” But last night everything just seemed to click. The funny thing is that we were less “seeker sensitive” than ever. We had a spirit filled worship time, including some spontaneous lyrics and choruses. We shared our answers to the question – “Why did God save you?” We had a brief sharing that was about the signs and wonders that God wants us to see. Finally we closed with 40 minutes of prayer divided by gender, complete with words from God, laying of hands, rebuking addiction, and reclaiming men for the Lord. All that to say, it wasn’t your typical “purpose driven meeting”.

But it worked. You could feel the love in the room just like you could feel the 78 degree body heat. One of the guys who described himself as new to the faith, was bold enough to ask for prayer for his addictions. Another one of the 1st timers shared he was devastated after his wife ran out on him six months ago. We prayed for God to raise up chaplains, pastors, and addiction recovery specialists. All that stuff is pretty scary, but I would be willing to bet that we would see some of those guys again.

What the heck does all that have to do with this verse? Well they were foreigners, and I believe we gave those “seekers” the truest glimpse at what we are (or what we want to be at least). They were open and felt loved because we were in our natural state, and unconcerned with what they were thinking. We ceased trying to give a Christian performance and gave them a Christian experience. As a foreigner that would be what I want.
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Lord, continue to give me wisdom on how seeker sensitive to be, if at all. Keep pouring out your blessings and your Holy Spirit. That is the best way to grow your church. I pray that the 18 we had at tribe this week would be dwarfed by the number of people you change through this group in the next few months. Tribe is yours, keep using it. Pour out your Holy Spirit and grow us yourself. Thank you so much for all that you are doing.

Signs and Wonders and Healings

2005-01-28T18:55:00.000-08:00

Acts 4:30 – Send your healing power; may miraculous signs and wonders be done through the name of your Holy servant Jesus.
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Man I want that. But I am convicted that I do not want that enough. This is a prayer offered by the disciples immediately after peter and John were put on trial for healing in the name of Jesus. They prayed this prayer. Why do I never pray like this. I don’t pray as much as I should in general, but for these kinds of things, I don’t pray anywhere near enough. This is what made the church grow. Just before this 5000 men came to know the Lord. They were drawn by the healing of a crippled man. This is the most untapped method of church growth – signs, wonders and healings. I have to believe that it is available. Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever. I am just feeling convicted, in a good way, to do this more diligently. I want to see this happen, but I have to want it more.
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God, I want your signs, wonders and healings to be a part of my life. Right now I feel like you are asking me the question - why? I want to see it more because you want to give it more. Help me to have no selfish motivation in seeing your power. I want it because you want to give it. Help me to more diligently pray for your power. I pray for your power tonight, now even. Be powerful at tribe, be powerful in the 35 minutes leading up to tribe. I want to see you grow your church. I ask you for signs, and wonders!

Why Worship?

2005-01-27T22:52:00.000-08:00

Let me ask a quick question. Today I was listening to a CD of preachers sharing during the revivals of the past. One of the guys shared that he was so in love with God, and that God was so worthy to be worshipped that even if he had to go to hell he would spend his whole life on earth serving God. I realize that this is one of those silly questions, that is the opposite of reality, but I think it is valid to see what we think of God and our motives for loving him. I am thinking this through, but let me know what you think. If you had to go to hell, would you still worship God while on earth?

The Myth of Burnout

2005-01-27T22:24:00.000-08:00

Exodus 18:14-23 - When Moses' father-in-law saw all that Moses was doing for the people, he said, "Why are you trying to do all this alone? The people have been standing here all day to get your help." Moses replied, "Well, the people come to me to seek God's guidance. When an argument arises, I am the one who settles the case. I inform the people of God's decisions and teach them his laws and instructions." "This is not good!" his father-in-law exclaimed. "You're going to wear yourself out – and the people, too. This job is too heavy a burden for you to handle all by yourself. Now let me give you a word of advice, and may God be with you. You should continue to be the people's representative before God, bringing him their questions to be decided. You should tell them God's decisions, teach them God's laws and instructions, and show them how to conduct their lives. But find some capable, honest men who fear God and hate bribes. Appoint them as judges over groups of one thousand, one hundred, fifty, and ten. These men can serve the people, resolving all the ordinary cases. Anything that is too important or too complicated can be brought to you. But they can take care of the smaller matters themselves. They will help you carry the load, making the task easier for you. If you follow this advice, and if God directs you to do so, then you will be able to endure the pressures, and all these people will go home in peace."
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Sorry I chose such a long passage, but the whole thing kept speaking to me. Today I read my friend gina’s blog (see my blog list to the right) and she got to talking a little bit about how she felt it important to guard her free time. I think that is so good for her, and she should stick to it.

Now let me say this: I think a lot of the time when people say something like this it is a crock. To state it plainly I do not believe in burn out, at least not in the sense that it is commonly used in the church in this day and age. I think burn out has become one of the most christianeese words I can think of, and to me it would be better translated, not being fed in my personal time with the Lord. When I look at my life, I have had times where I could relate to the feelings of burn out, but I notice that those times also coincide with dry times in my walk. So I would prefer if people gave me more info and rather than using the blanket statement – I’m burn out – I wish they would be honest and recognize that their problem is usually with their spiritual position. I have been there, and it sucks.

That being said, the reason why this verse stuck out to me was not because I am dealing with burn out. I am actually busier now that I have been at any time in my life, but I a feeling great. Since starting this blog my spiritual walk has enjoyed the consistency that I have rarely had before. That is all the more reason why this verse meant so much to me tonight.

Today I found out that starting next week I am going to be preaching at church three times a month on the second Saturday night service. I am so excited about this, mostly because I know that the Lord is growing me in this aspect, and I am excited to be used. On top of that we found out this week that we underpaid our taxes all year and owe a good sized chunk of change to uncle sam. To help cover that I am going to try to work an extra day a week for my father in law. I thought I was busy before. So as I got assigned all that preaching, I took on the task with what you might call a visual reluctance. I explained how I felt sure that I should do this, but at the same time, I had no extra time to offer. So what did I do? I took it on, Dan gave me this encouragement as I did so – this will force you to have to work through other people.

I took this statement to heart. Notice that I did not say “use” other people, it’s about working through other people. (I wish I could work through someone an extra day at the shop). But this verse really confirmed that in my life. Moses did it, and it worked great. I note that he was careful in his selection, and I need to be as well. I have all ready gotten one major chunk of my business delegated to a great servant, who has a true servants heart (see “journey to the character of god” blog to the right). I need to be praying about ways I can do this in other places of my ministry. I see exactly where Gina is coming from. I need to protect myself, but understand this – I am nowhere near burnt out!
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Lord, help me to work through other people. It is my desire to release people in ministry, and to free myself up to do more. Help me to kill those two birds with one stone. Show me those honest men who aren’t bribeable. Use me as I preach in the future. Continue to provide for my family. I trust you to do so, and to take care of us in this crunch time. Help me to serve you more whole heartedly. Bring revival. amen

Third Times a Charm

2005-01-26T23:36:00.000-08:00

Well my friend mike decided last night that before he made a decision on how his life is going to play out that he should come up here and see what God is doing and pray about it some. He was blessed with the air miles to get up here, and got on a plane at 4 this morning. Since he has been here we have had a blast but the Lord has all ready used him to lead one guy to Christ, and reunite another with his family. He even spent a good chuck of the day with a guy from our church who was going through some serious stuff. We got to pray for him and he broke down crying. I know that I am a better minister of the gospel when he is around, so I am really hoping that the Lord keeps him here. And how can he not. Why would God use him to radically change 3 lives in one day and not be calling him to stick around here. So we are praying. I know I have asked you to pray about this before, but this time I am just going to pray what I want. I want to see big things happen here, so I am praying that God keeps him here…but not my will but his will be done. Please pray with me. For those of you who are part of tribe, he is going to share this Friday, and I am sure it will be good. That plus hearing all of your answers to the question…Why did god save me? I am looking forward to it.
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Lord speak to mike. As I write this he is praying a few feet away from me. Speak to him now. Speak to him tonight. I just pray that you would change this place and use me in the most effective way possible. I would like to see mike be a part of that. Thank you for all that you did today, and I pray for more encounters of the God kind. You are my Lord.

Leading the Blind

2005-01-25T21:39:00.000-08:00

Exodus 13:17 - When Pharaoh finally let the people go, God did not lead them on the road that runs through Philistine territory, even though that was the shortest way from Egypt to the Promised Land. God said, "If the people are faced with a battle, they might change their minds and return to Egypt."
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This verse really shows me Gods heart for his children. God put them through so much, but being God he knew that they could handle it. But here he decides to not put them through anymore hardship and leads them the Long way to Palestine. The thing that makes me think about this verse is the fact that the Israelites were probably pissed about this. I can’t back this up but I bet a lot of them were second guessing the leadership, saying “what the heck, why are we going the long way. Its bad enough that I have known nothing but slavery, now I have to wander through this desert rather than going directly to our new homes.” But the truth is that God was taking care of them all along. His plan although it seemed bass ackwards, was actually the right one. I do that in my life all the time. I might second guess why the lord would say I should do things his way, rather than the clear way. I just have to know that he always has me in mind, just like the Israelites in this story. Tithing is a great example of this. I don’t like to tithe, and believe me, on paper it makes no sense at all. Why would I want to give away a tenth of all I make. That could be used very easily. But in God’s economy it makes perfect sense. I just need to be willing to trust him. Even when it makes no sense to me.
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Lord, help me to blindly follow you. I never want to be afraid to ask you questions, but when you choose not to answer them, or just to give me info on a need to know basis, help me to trust you blindly. Help me to believe in you so completely, that trusting you is easy. I am not there yet. Please help me to get there.

Back to the Ancient Future

2005-01-25T01:51:00.000-08:00

Let me bring you up to speed. There is this new philosophy that is kind of postmoderny that is being referred to as “ancient future”. You see it a lot in worship circles and it translates a lot into theology on ones personal walk. My understanding of the basic premise of the idea is that people today are hungry for the foundation that the church was built upon. They love our new methods, but need the stability of a religion that has been around of a couple thousand years. In ancient future circles you will see more hymns in worship. You may catch people studying the writings of the ancient theologians such as Brother Lawrence, or even as far back as Augustine. I have been putting a lot of time and thought into this movement, and I am not sure exactly where I fall in regards to it. Let me be clear – I have no problem if it works for you, I am just not sure that I buy into it. Here are a few reasons why:

1. It has never worked for me. I can honestly say that I have never had an intimate worship time to a hymn. I am not saying that it cannot happen, I would not put God into a box that way. It could happen, I just find hymns to be to wordy and archaic in language. When compared to the worship songs of today, they require too much theology to understand how one ought to worship. I feel like I spend my whole time interpreting the meaning, and not giving the Lord his due glory. The books of old have yet to work for me as well. Maybe I am just a little dense but I feel like it takes too much thought to comprehend their meaning. I am a plain meaning kind of a guy.

2. The church of old had major problems. The church today is by no means pure, not even in comparison. My thought though is that there is a reason that the church is the way it looks today. It is because the practices of old were replaced by more effective ones. A little bit of the past is ok in our services, but we must remember things like hymns evolved into what we know today because the newer songs were more effective. We did not become what we are today by accident.

3. The most important reason for having a hard time with the ancient future movement is that it lacks something. That thing namely is the power of the Holy Spirit. Tragically the Holy Spirit and it’s miraculous power were not the mainstream in church for thousands of years. It was clearly present in the early church, which we can see in scripture, but it somehow tapered off. This is not to say that believers did not have the Holy Spirit living within them. I am just explaining that his manifest presence is conspicuously missing for almost 18 centuries. The Holy Spirit was there, it was just rarely given a place in worship, or in groups of believers all together. These ancient future principle do not take into account the fact that Jesus himself said that we would do even greater things than he did. Not until the Pentecostal revival of the early 1900s did we find our way again. I for one refuse to let this power fade. The teachers of old, along with the songs of old, have little if any space for the most powerful tool of all for ministry – the Holy Spirit.

I think this ancient future church has to go into Jimmy’s picture from his site. It crosses out the phrases – be the emerging church, be the post modern church, be the gen x church. Finally it says in bold print – be the church. That is what this is all about. Lets quit with the idea that people on the outside might like us more if they could only hear ancient future worship. Lets cross that one out and just be the church. None of our ideas are working so hot. Lets just be who we are, and when I speak for myself I can tell you that I am man after god, and empowered by the holy spirit.

As Flexible as a Contortionist

2005-01-24T10:30:00.000-08:00

Luke 24:33 – “And within the hour they were back on their way to Jerusalem, where the eleven disciples and the other followers of Jesus were gathered.”
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Today was one of those days where I had about 5 verses jump out at me, and I could have written about any one of them. This one stood out to me and at first glance, you have to wonder why. Jesus had just appeared to these two men on the road to Emmaus. Just before this verse it says that they begged to Jesus to stay with them in Emmaus, so obviously planning to stay. It also says that this was about a 7 mile trip. Of course they didn’t realize it was Jesus until it was too late. What I see here is God stepping into the lives of these guys and then they drop everything, all their plans and all their desires to do what they knew they were called to do. A seven mile journey is like a four hour trip each way. I have had a lot of encounters with the Lord in my life, but I have never felt so motivated to share them that I would venture into an 8 hour round trip, just to tell others. These guys were so radically changed by their brief encounter that they gave up all their plans and put the Lord’s first. That speaks to me. I want to have that kind of devotion.
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Lord I talk a lot about putting you first, but rarely do I mean it. It’s not that I am lying, it is just that I am not quite willing enough to lay down my own life. I want your help to get to that place. I pray that you would make me perfectly flexible when it comes to your will because there is nothing more important than that in my life. Holy Spirit I give you permission to use me even when I find it inconvenient. I just want to be used. Thank you for your word.

Seeker Insensitivity

2005-01-23T15:17:00.000-08:00

Exodus 8:26 – “The Egyptians would detest the sacrifices that we offer to the Lord our God. If we offer them here where they can see us, they will be sure to stone us.”
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I have no problem with seeker sensitivity. I just don’t think it belongs in our churches. This verse may not be a great example but it made me think about the whole issue. The Israelites were so sure of the kind of worship that they had to bring the Lord that they made no attempt to be appealing to those around them. In fact they were so sure that there practices were going to be offensive to those who did not understand that they wanted to travel for days to be able to do what they were called to do. Now I understand that they didn’t come from an inclusive point of view but this verse just got me thinking. If we were to worship the Lord the way we are encouraged to in scripture, we would be pretty freaky to the unbelievers. Take a look at the book of acts. Not very seeker sensitive. I came to realize today that I can’t think of one instance where a non believer ever shows up at any kind of service in scripture. Paul alludes to it in 1 Corinthians in his teaching on tongues, but outside I cannot recall a successful conversion in scripture that was done in a church meeting.
I don’t want to just start an argument with this so I feel that my application to this is in my own life. I need to worship hard when I am alone and in Tribe. I need to do all those embarrassing things that could get me stoned in those times to start. I need to be more seeker sensitive in my daily life. I can do this by not using Christianeese, being more tolerant of those who have different lifestyle choices from me such as the Gay community, or the New Age community. By this I do not mean agreeing or even condoning sinful behavior. I need to be more loving, and willing to befriend people who have a different persuasion than my own. This is where seeker sensitivity will flourish. We have this definition that seekers are only seekers at 10 am on Sundays, but the truth is that the entire unchurched community is seeking answers and they are doing this as they live out their lives, every minute of everyday. I need to be more sensitive to that.
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Lord, Help me to worship you better. Help me to have the courage to worship you in a way that might even make me look silly. Let me personally be more seeker sensitive. Fill the individuals of tribe with seeker sensitivity in their own lives. I pray that you would use that to grow tribe, yet we would be able to keep focused on the real reason for our existence. We exist to worship you in whatever ways you desire. As we lift you up, make good on your promise and draw all men to yourself.

I Made It

2005-01-22T15:23:00.000-08:00

JUst wanted to post and say thanks to everyone who prayed for my previous post. I made it. It was one of those funerals where no one feels comfortable. Aparently nobody but her children really liked this woman, but her children seemed to really care about her. And I got to share the gospel with them. That was awesome. I led the whole church in a sinners prayer, and I am sure that most of them were not believers. Some of them looked at me funny, others affirmed me in what I said. I just did what I felt called to do. There were some people there who appeared to have lived a lot of life if you know what I mean. One guy wore a g-unit tshirt to his moms memorial. He was missing some theeth and looked a little strung out. Those are the people who jesus spent time with, and preached to. It was an honor to do that.
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Lord I pray for those who were at the funeral today. I am not sure if any of them made decisions for you, but for those that haven't, I pray that my words and this ladys death would stick with them and direct them to you. Thank you for this chance, and choosing me. I pray that you would use me and this moment to turn around that entire family for you. In jesus name - amen

Everybody Hates Funerals

2005-01-21T22:35:00.000-08:00

About a week ago I got my first call to do a funeral. I said yes. Since then I have been living in this general fear of tomarrow, at 2pm. I don’t know anyone who is going to be there, nor the deceased, but I am a little scared. I have to admit that I am feeling better than I ever have about it, thanks to those who have been prayng for me, but let me tell you what I am really afraid of. I not so afraid that I have to speak infront of people, or that I might mess up my words. More than anything I am afraid that they will take one look at me, and say…this is the pastor??? For those of you who know me let me put you in on a little secret. Most of whatever confidence I seem to have is an act. I am actually quite insecure. And this time it is not even so much about me. This is someones mother for crying out loud. They don’t want some kid putting the period on her life. So for a while I thought about buying a clerical shirt with those straight collars. My wife and all of my tribe thought that was a pretty dumb idea. So tomorrow at 2 I am just going to go out there and face it. I have been praying all week for courage and the Lord has been filling me with that, a little more each day, but if you can remember, say a prayer for me when you finish reading this. Also pray that I am able to bring the gospel effectively to a primarily unchurched crowd. Maybe I should pray all this stuff too.
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Lord I pray that you would help me to remember that no one should look down on me because of my age. Fill me continually with the sober reality of the honor it is to be part of this service. Help me to glorify you in this service. Use me to change peoples hearts for you. Let this be a healing time for the family. Help them to enjoy the service. Be with me, I need your holy spirit. amen

Save Now Spend Later

2005-01-20T23:25:00.000-08:00

Genesis 50:20 – “As far as I am concerned, God turned into good what you meant for evil. He brought me to the high position I have today so I could save the lives of many people.”
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I have never realized it before but Joseph and I have the same story. I don’t mean that I have a fruity coat, or that I was sold into egyptian slavery, but we have a lot of life in common. From this quote I see it. I always relate myself to other people in scripture like Moses or Paul, but I have never had this relationship with Joseph. Up until a few years ago I thought I had no testimony. I just remembered going to church as a kid and that was about the beginning, but the real beginning goes back several years before that. It actually starts with my parents. My parents made a career choice before I was born to be what I like to call “illegal horticulturalists”. That is what I was born into. I look around today and I take a look at all of my childhood playmates, and realize that quite a few of them are dead, and the rest are living pretty painful lives. Granted I have had some times of pain in my life which I will save for another entry, but I have been blessed by the Lord. What the enemy of my soul ment for evil God used for good. Kids born into my situation, don’t often have much of a shot in life. I know I often write kids like that off. There is one young boy in our churchwho I have done this too. I got to tell you that I have had the thought before that this kid doesn’t have a chance in the world. He is only a few years old, but just looking at his situation, there doesn’t seem to be much hope. But I of all people sould have hope for him, because the Lord has made an example out of me. I count myself blessed by God to have the oppertunities that I have today. As for the second part of the verse I am trusting the Lord to make good on that side of the coin. I have to believe that God brought me out of the life I was born into for a reason. I have to believe that he wants to save a lot of people through me, and that’s the point of this whole thing. We kind of have an agreement, me and God. Because he brought me out of the pit I could have been in, I will always live my life for him. It’s a good deal on my end. But I want so desparately to be used by God to save many people. Let me state that more plainly. I exist to be used by God to save many people. I have no problems with that, it is my purpose. I am thankful for reading this passage toinght. I feel like the Lord may be planting a new life verse in me. He is who he is, and I want every bit of him.
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Lord help me to not write anyone off because of their present circumstances. You have brought me from so much, help me to believe that you can and will do the same for others. Help me to take part in these two things that Joseph talks about here. Help me to take joy in where I have come from. Use those experiences, to change the world through me. I need you to be mine, I will be yours. Please use me.

New Side Bar

2005-01-20T22:29:00.000-08:00

Check out all the new stuff on my side bar. It took me a long time to figure out how to do that. Let me say in the words of Jackass's Steve-o "Yeah dude, I rock." (picture me smiling with both thumbs up in front of my face.)

Worshiping Rocks!

2005-01-19T13:12:00.000-08:00

Luke 19:40 – “ If they kept quiet, the stones along the side of the road would burst into cheers!”
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Would they have? That would have been something to see. I am almost surprised that the Pharisees didn’t call him on this, and make him prove it. My question from this is what about today. God receives no where near the praise he deserves, yet the stones remain completely silent. What this passage gets me thinking about is the amount of praise that the Lord deserves, and how these people were so enthralled by his presence that they did what came most naturally to them. They praised. Praising the Lord seems to have evolved in my life from this natural response to a forced practice. It is all my fault, but I look at the way I bring him worship and I see that it is always is something now that I have to think about really hard, and make a conscience decision to do. If I am being completely honest, sometimes I find myself needing to drum up emotion in order to feel like I am praising him. Here’s another question. Can you be made to worship? It has always been a pet peeve of mine to be at some kind of a Christian service and to have a worship leader give instructions on my worship posture. It felt to me like it lost its meaning when I was forced to raise my hands during worship. Can we worship outside of a natural response? Can we worship when we don’t feel like it. That’s enough questions for one post. These are just some of the things that have been going through my head.
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Lord, I don’t want you to have to use rocks or anything else to receive you due worship. I want to be a worshiper. I ask you to change my heart in places where I have a difficulty worshipping you. Be the object of my affection, and let my natural response be to bring you the worship you are due.

A New Kind of Heretic

2005-01-18T19:43:00.000-08:00

Disclaimer: I gave my life over to jesus at a stadium event called Harvest Crusade. Those events and others like it have played a significant role in building the church. I would venture to guess that the church would appear very different today if it weren’t for these minstries. Again I am a product of one of these ministries and this post is in no way to take away from the work they have done.

I try not to fill this journal wor my quiet times in general with theology, and debate, but I feel that it is healthy once in a while. So this weekend at church we were talking about the cost of being a disciple, as seen in luke 14. This topic has been burning a hole in me since I got started thinking about it, and I have been waiting till I had a chunck of time to sit down and write/process this idea in this blog. The question arose: Can you be a saved and not be a disciple? Simple enough. Modern-day evangelicals will almost all give you a simple response…yes, you can. That was the conclusion that we came to in our services this Sunday. There was more to it than just that, but the answer was that if you really wanted to, you could probablly get away with that. You could accept Jesus and then live your whole life just as you were before. I, on the other hand, am not exactly sure if I agree with this conclusion (I say this for the sake of argument, and literary suspense because as you probablly have guessed I am on the other side of the coin). This is not to say that I am against the idea of salvation by grace, because I for one am for it. Here is how I see it. To answer this question we must first answer another – What must I do to be saved? Do we have it right? Does it really only take us asking Jesus to come into our heart and forgive our sins to be saved or is it more complicated than that? I think it is slightly more complicated than that. I base this on Romans 10:9 – If you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord”…you shal be saved. There it is layed out nice and in a row. But it is my thought that we miss some of that in modern day evangelical circles. I call the part that we are missing the “Lordship intent.” Basically this means that if you confess this and ask Jesus into your heart without an intent to make him your lord, you just lied in your confession and it is therefore invalid. To truly comprehend Pauls idea of salvation here, we must understand the principle of Lordship in our lives. Simply put Lordship is giving your lord the priority in your life. Making him number 1. Giving him preference over yourself and others. That is what Lordship. Lets put it all together. I believe Pauls salvation message, as seen in Romans 10 to be something more like this – “If you confess with your mouth honestly ‘I want Jesus to be my number one priority from now on.’ …You shal be saved”. This is the cost of being a disciple, and the truth is that it took me six years of wasted life to actually figure that out. I spent six years just living with my get out of hell free card, even though I may not have really had one. So to answer the question posed this weekend, can you be saved and not be a disciple? – It is difficult but yes. A better question might be: Can you become saved with no intent to ever be a disciple? My thought is that you can’t.
Of course that is for the Lord to figure out, it is not my place to judge other peoples eternal destination. But what this thought does for me is it changes the way I approach my ministry. I think the church has been done a disservice by allowing this idea of a completely free gift of salvation to form our modern viewpoint. Again I am sure that salvation cannot be earned through works, but at the same time, salvation is not free. Not by a long shot. It’s a good deal, but boy is it expensive. The disservice that we have done to the church is that we have robbed it of the exponential evangelism system that God intended it to have. You see when we preach a gospel that doesn’t require the Lordship of Jesus, we lose out on every bit of kingdom building that the hearer had in their potential. Granted there are exceptions to the rule, but when I look at the american church, I see very few exceptions as compared to the rest. The vast majority of americans consider them selves to be christians, but we always see ourselves as being around 15 percent of the population. It seems logical that this is the gap can be attributed to those who were given a gospel that required nothing of them, and that is exactly what they gave. It was lipservice.
If we look at JC’s example with the rich young ruler, we see that even he was quick to share the enormous cost of being a disciple, and I am not a fool to thnk that as many people would come to the Lord when the Gospel is presented in this way. Many will walk away sad in the same way the rich youn ruler did. But we can trust in the numbers of workers growing for oour harvest. To me this is a much better position to be in. More people with God in control, rather than an even greater number of people with a supposed get out of hell free card.
Let me clue you in on my life mission statement. I live to improve and increase the worship of God. I want to do this in the most efficient way I know how. I hope you will join me, even though it is expensive.

Great Expectations

2005-01-17T10:53:00.000-08:00

Psalm 5:3 – “Listen to my voice in the morning, Lord. Each morning I bring my requests to you and wait expectantly.”
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I guess this morning the Lord is teaching me about expectations. I had this realization a couple of months ago. It was in the context of going to our church services expecting God to move, and encouraging others to go in with the same attitude. Then the other day I was praying for a friend of mine and encouraged him to expect God to answer this prayer. Now today it appears that this is speaking to my expectation on an on going, daily basis. David says he does this each morning. If I had to rate my current expectation of God to answer each prayer I pray, I would give myself about a 4 out of 10. But to me it goes beyond just prayer. Do I expect him to be with me and teaching me and using me all day? Not as much as I should. The truth is if we ask for something but don’t really expect for it to happen, did we truly ask for it? I know that the Lord is working on me to expect him, and be ready for him to move all the time, and that is where I want to be.
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Lord, I expect you to use me today. I expect you to teach me today. I expect you to answer the prayers I have been praying. Be close to me. Help me to live in the expectation that you will do anything that I ask. Fill me with faith that build my expectations that you will do what you say you will do. Use me today, I expect you to.

The Crowd Favorite

2005-01-16T22:13:00.000-08:00

Genesis 39:3-4a – “Potiphar noticed this and realized that the Lord was with Joseph, giving him success in everything he did. So Joseph naturally became quite a favorite with him.”
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You know what I learn from this verse? I see this verse teaching a clear principle. If the Lord is with us, people who don’t know the lord will “naturally” favor us. This makes no earthly sense but this is the pattern that Joseph experienced, and I believe that God could make that true to this day. I felt inspired to write on this verse in light of a comment I received in an earlier post, and to sort of follow up on my last journal entry. I shared in my last entry about my conviction about not being as attractive to non Christians as I should be, at least not even remotely close to where Jesus was. After sharing that as best as I could I received this comment:

being non-christian & being a "sinner" are not synonymousperhaps you could consider that what might be driving people away is your small-minded judgemental attitude towards them

Let me say this and say it with complete sincerity, I appreciate this comment. I disagree with the the premise and the suggestion, but I appreciate the outside view point. What good is any of this with out the view points of people outside of my set of beliefs. But in all honesty, I feel that I am as non judgemental as I can be. So taking that comment into account and this scripture I think I have the answer. I need to not care som much about what the sinner/non believer think of me and focus squarely on what the Lord thinks of me, while at the same time being completely real and honest. If my main focus is squarely on him then, he will bless my life, allow me to be a blessing to others and in turn I will find favor in their eyes. It worked for joseph, why not for me. This is not to excuse myself from a personal call to make relationships with all people, christian or not. So in light of that I am going to write my intentions so that I wil be forced to followthrough with them because of the accountability that this blog demands. I want to build a friendship with a guy named Joe who works with me for my father in law. He is a really nice guy, who looks like he could use some friends. He lives about an hour away, but I think its worth it. No it is worth it. Be praying for that and hold me accountable.
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Lord, help me to focus more on you because I know that your word says this is when I will find favor in the eyesof the world. My sole deire is to please you but I believe you are pleased when I am in relationship with those not like me, just as Jesus was. Let me have your favor first and then the favoe of the world. I pray that you help me to build a rlatinship with joe, and that he would come to our mens breakfast. Help me to show him to your love, use me to love him. I love you lord.

Baby Costello

2005-01-15T23:21:00.000-08:00

baby costello

The Notorious JC

2005-01-15T10:45:00.000-08:00

Luke 15:1 – Tax collectors and other notorious sinners often came to listen to Jesus teach.
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Here is one of my weaknesses. I look at my own life and I don’t see this happening. I have never been attractive to the non believer the way that Jesus was. I have friends who are, people just feel right at home with them, but I don’t know what it is about me. Now I know all the rules, and I don’t find myself to be very judgmental, but I can’t seem to attract those who don’t know the Lord. My friends have been Christians for about six years now. I can’t believe that as I write it, but I haven’t had a close non Christian friend in at least five years. So what was it about Jesus that made the sinners come running? What am I missing from the equation? Jesus spent some time a lot of time with sinners, but even when I am in that place, I feel that people steer clear. Maybe that is just my insecurity. I worked for a year and a half at a restaurant recently, and I never once went out to do something with anybody from work. I guess I am just a chicken. I was invited to a few parties, but never had the balls to go. I think the main reason for that is that, is that I feel uncomfortable there. I feel like I have nothing to talk about. I feel like I can’t relate. I do relate, but not in the perfect way I would want to. But I know the bottom line is to just have some guts and hang out with the non Christians. I am not very good at making friends anymore in general which makes the task even harder. But I feel that this is very important. To be more like Christ, I need to hang out with sinners more. That’s simple.
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Lord let this not just be lip service to you. Help me to follow through with what you say in your word. I want notorious sinners to often come to hear me speak, or just so much as enjoy my presence. I know you are calling me to befriend the lost. I pray you would start with Joe from work. Help me to reach him for you. Forget about that, I know you will take care of that, just help me to really befriend him. God I love you , help me to love the lost the way you do.

Rather Learn than Teach

2005-01-14T23:55:00.000-08:00

Luke 14:33 - so no one can become my disciple without giving up everything for me
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Here is what's been going on. Last night I was at our church prayer meeting and I distinctly felt that the Lord was saying something to me. I felt a conviction that in my life I had made a move from a learner to a teacher. In my walk it seemed that I was always concerned with growing other people and how to be more effective in ministry, and I let that replace a heartfelt hunger for God to change me personally and to burn passionately for him myself. I want to fix that so my goal is to apply this verse to my current situation, and see pray that God helps me to give that away.
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Lord, I give it all to you. I give you my ministry and I never want it to take precedence to what you are doing in my life. I want you for you and I know you want me for me. Be my Lord! Be my Lord! Let nothing get infront of you. I would painfully give up everything for you. Help me to fall in love with you more, and focus on me and you. I love you Jesus.

Pray with Me

2005-01-13T16:25:00.000-08:00

I don't very often place community prayers on the tribe log, but I have one that I would like you to pray for. So if you are reading this, Christian or not, please take a minute after reading this and pray.
One of the people I love more than anyone in this world is praying about moving from ventura CA up here to Santa Rosa, to partner with me in ministry and eventually be a part of a church plant. We both feel that the Lord wants to use us together in ministry at some point, we are just praying about when that will be. He is at a crossroads in his life and needs to decide where God is calling him. Pray with me that he would make the right decision, and that he would hear the Lord in making it. His name is Mike Brock.

Please pray with me and as you pray if the Lord gives you a word or a scripture, feel free to post it as a comment and I will read it and make sure it gets to him. Thanks a lot

Mustard and Yeast

2005-01-13T15:58:00.000-08:00

Luke 13:18-21 - “Then Jesus said, "What is the Kingdom of God like? How can I illustrate it? It is like a tiny mustard seed planted in a garden; it grows and becomes a tree, and the birds come and find shelter among its branches." He also asked, "What else is the Kingdom of God like? It is like yeast used by a woman making bread. Even though she used a large amount of flour, the yeast permeated every part of the dough." Jesus went through the towns and villages, teaching as he went, always pressing on toward Jerusalem.”
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Does anyone really know what Jesus point is with these illustrations? I am not sure exactly what he is getting at but that is not going to stop me from trying to apply it to my life. I would say all in all I am a pretty good interpreter of scripture. I am usually careful to take the biblical meaning and not take scriptures out of their original context. My readers have permission to hold me accountable to this. But honestly, I would love to hear your understanding of this passage. Here's what I can say about the text. 1) The Kingdom of God is designed to grow. 2) It spreads rapidly. 3) As it grows more are included. That gets me thinking about me and my calling. I get to wondering which part of these three aspects I need to focus on the most. I feel particularly called to the rapid spreading of the kingdom of God. About a week ago I decided to change my email signature. I took out my current job title and changed it with my personal job title. It reads “revival seeker/enthusiast.” This is my desire. I am currently reading a book by Ralph Moore called “Friends”. It is supposed to be a handbook for reaching Gen X, but it has turned out so far to be a how to start a revival hand book. I love that. I feel called to spend my entire life dedicated to seeing a revival take place in my generation. In biblical terms I want to see the Kingdom of God do what it was designed to do. I want to see the mustard seed that the Lord has planted in my heart grow into a tree where birds can find refuge. I want to see myself and my likeminded contemporaries as yeast who are doing everything they can to permeate this culture. This is my dream. I make no bones about it. (My dad always used that expression and I have no idea what it means. I want to be a key player in a coming revival, and I want God to use me to do just that.
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Lord that is how I pray. Use me. I beg you to use me. I ask you to come and make true on your illustrations of the kingdom of god in this generation. Let me be a part of what you are doing. Let this passion never leave my heart. I want it and it is all for you. In places where it is not for you, convict me and I will do my best to make them yours. Revive me continually. Revive my church, revive my town, and revive my nation.

Jesus Causes Division

2005-01-12T11:37:00.000-08:00

Well I am not sure if it is Christian to say this but I wasn’t particularly inspired by anything that I read today. One thing that did stand out to me however was the title of the last section of Luke 12. In the NLT translation they title this section “Jesus Causes Division”. That’s a quote you won’t read or hear very often. We spend so much time being incredibly careful to not cause division, yet Jesus was the one separating families, and causing unrest. One of my favorite stories in all of scripture is when Jesus tipped over the tables in the temple. That caused division, but it was a sort of Holy Division, a Holy Anger. I have always wondered how he got away with that. How did he do something like that in remain sinless? Let me state clearly that I am not questioning Jesus sinlessness, but just how we label that event. I have often wondered if there would be a circumstance where I could go to a mega church and tip over all their shelves in their book store and have that not be considered a sin? Believe me I have had that thought before. One look at the prayer of jabez door mat and my heart starts burning. I don’t want to get carried away but let me say this: Jesus has been at the center of more division than any person in the history of humankind. I guess that the thought that this all wraps up into is that maybe sin isn’t quite as black and white as we evangelicals make it out to be. It is painfully rare but maybe there is a right time to leave your family and follow God. Maybe there is a right time to destroy private property. Maybe a righteous understanding of the Lord and his laws could lead to breaking the “laws of the land”. I realize I need to be careful with this kind of speech, and to anyone who is reading this, do not take this as a license to break laws, I am just processing my thoughts on paper (e-paper that is). Here is another thought that I have had. You may think that I am totally crazy to say this, and maybe I am, but I respect the convictions of those people who have killed abortion doctors. Now before you pick up your stones to kill me think this through. If you truly believed a fetus to be a living human being, isn’t this the right thing to do? I went to the museum of tolerance in LA a few years ago. Contrary to its name the place is ninety percent about the holocaust. I found a huge contradiction in their principle of tolerance there. One of their saying was that all that needed to happen to spawn another holocaust was for good people to do nothing. With that logic and a fundamental belief that an abortion is murder, how can we not act? I distinctly remember our tour guide walking us through the hall of intolerance. There was one section on the killing of abortion doctors, simply because I was intolerant of their belief in the right to choose. Do you see the contradiction I am left with? Luckily for the abortion doctors, I am not particularly passionate about the issue because I am intellectually hones and admit that I am not sure at what point human life begins. Please know that I would never so much as consider killing anyone, because I believe so wholeheartedly that there can be redemption for all and I don’t want to steal that from anybody. This title and the passage it refers to just got me thinking. I think you should comment on this, let me know where I go wrong, and why. I hope this sparks a bit of a discussion. I think the church needs a discussion on this, not just the abortion issue, but how we relate to the laws of the land in general. So please comment. Let the criticism flow.

flood lights

2005-01-11T10:52:00.000-08:00

January 11, 2005
Luke 11:36 – “If you are filled with the light, with no dark corners, then your whole life will be radiant, as though a flood light is shining on you.”
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I am not sure that I am interpreting this exactly right, and I know that I should take the time to be sure to do so, but I believe this principle to be true from other parts of scripture, and I know that this is a word from the Lord for my life today. My previous post, and what I have been going through lately is my struggle to be open. I am generally a pretty open person. Ask me anything and I will tell you what you want to know, but I know that there are certain areas of my life where I can see that I should be more forth coming with my story. I am not even referring to anything in particular, so don’t think that I have this big story to get off my chest. Basically what I am trying to say is that this needs to become a lifestyle change for me. I want for the rest of my life be an example in honesty, transparency, and openness. I want no dark corners in my well lit heart. This verse gives me strength to live like this, as well as a mandate. This may sound a little conceded or something, but in the spirit of openness let me say this: I want to live a radiant life and have flood lights shining on me. I want this not for me, but for the kingdom. I want these lights on me just so that I can be a greater witness to the Lord. I believe that is a huge part of my calling, and in that my life, every bit of it, has to be prepared to be seen. I am in the middle of those preparations, and always will be, but I think that people now value a behind the scenes look at a man on a spiritual journey, more than a perfect picture of what a man should be. I am open to that, and all the humiliation and joy it will bring.
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Lord, help me to live more like you in public and in secret. I believe your plan for my life is to have less and less of a secret life everyday. Help me to become a better follower of you. When the light shines bright on me, help me to look like you, and in ways that I don’t help me to openly strive for that. Turn on the flood lights, and use me.

Cold Burritos

2005-01-10T23:02:00.000-08:00

Luke 10:21 “Then Jesus was filled with the joy of the Holy Spirit and said, "O Father, Lord of heaven and earth, thank you for hiding the truth from those who think themselves so wise and clever, and for revealing it to the childlike. Yes, Father, it pleased you to do it this way.”
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There was this girl who was sort of part of my gang of friends when I was in high school. We called her “the cotch” because her last name was a longer version of that and was hard to say, nothing mean or anything, I would never do that. Anyway she went away to college in Missouri, and one summer she came back and was hanging out at our college group, which was great. I distinctly remember one night, and this was several years ago now, where we all went to taco bell next door after college group. There were about 5 of us there, maybe six. At the time I was slightly more pious than I am today, and found it vitally important to say prayers with all in attendance at every meal I ate. Well we all sat down and just when we did, the cotch began this monologue about here misadventures on diving team at here college. She gave us the rundown on every meet and even more painfully, on every team member. She cited each one by name, not seeming to have the faintest idea that we had no relationship nor interest in any of these people. Well she went on and on, all the while the rest of us were cautiously looking around and smiling as we waited to say our pre meal prayer. Normally I would be bold enough to interrupt and call people to prayer, but not this time. I could not get a word in. Everybody knew exactly what was going on, and I hate to say it but the cotch sort of had a reputation for this. She was one of those people who is the hardest for me to stand to be around. I don’t necessarily mind those who are longwinded. One of my dearest friends in the world can be quite long winded, but it’s just different, and I think that the difference is this verse. My dear friend you see, makes no attempt to be something that he is not. He will come right out with it and admit what a bonehead he is, and what he struggles with, and that’s what I love about him. But the cotch was different. She had the more common for of this over talking disease. It went along with another symptom that insisted that the talker had all the answers, or had a mandate to talk because they knew more or were that incredibly interesting. I think the Lord was teaching me a lesson that night as I ate a couple of cold bean burritos. The sure fire way to cure yourself of that problem that the cotch had, doesn’t have to be to just shut up. This isn’t an abstinence only program. I learned that people want to hear your stories if they can relate. And the fact is that people relate better to mistakes, lessons, and failures better than anything. That kind of vulnerability is so appealing, especially to this generation. I think that is one of the core differences the church will need to capitalize on as we reach this new generation. The old model of bragging about our successes, falls short in attention grabbing compared to sharing the ups and downs of ones life. I need the ability to be even better at that than I am now. That is what being childlike is all about.
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Lord help me to be more vulnerable, and more open with my peers. Give me a heart to bear with those who aren’t open. Help me to encourage them to become more so. I pray that you would use my openness mightily, because you know it is not fun, but I do it for you. Help me to be more childlike.

The Submerging Church

2005-01-10T01:40:00.000-08:00

Maybe that could be a title for my first book. This post is mostly to let my reders know that I have been thinking about removing, and finally have removed the word emerging from my description. I have been planning on doing it for a while, but an article I read put me over the top. You can find it here (http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2004/011/12.36.html). S it's gone, and let me try to explain why. I love the ideas that go along with the emerging church. I completly agree that the americain church is poised for something, and that it is going to take a "new kind of Christian" to get that ball rolling. Talking about the emerging church makes me salivate. I love the idea of taking the world by storm, one person at a time. I love the idea of being on my own spiritual journey, and don't need to be told what kind of spiritual journey I need to have. There is so much that I love about these ideas, but I just can't buy in.
One thing I remember well from a church planting class I took was this idea: Do not base your churches strategy on what not to do. I am not saying that we are not to be very critical of the current church, because Lord knows I am, but I just don't know If I am ready to buy into a answerless idea. All the emergent church seems to have is criticism. I have so much that i want to do and feel called to do, I cant dwell on what I am not going to do. On top of that, I don't feel that I fit in with the post-modern movement. I am a 24 year old, hawaiian shirt wearing, sports enjoying, slightly overweight man. Nothing screams dorky evangelical more than that. What does the emergent church do for those who don't wear tight black clothing, nor have a knack for acrylic painting. And the trouble is that I feel like I am in the majority. Last I checked football is still as popular as it ever was, and althogh its popular most of us in my age group still don't have tatoo sleeves and guaged ears. What does postmodernity say to us? I love all those things, and some of my best friends are those who I am describing myself as not being. There is a place for those people in the church, but do they really need their own. I think that only hurts the church as a whole.
As I type this I get to thinking, maybe we are entering a new era as the church. No we surely are entering a new era as a church. And with it I know that we will see great things. I just don't want to go the way we have gone in our past. I don't want to create another divide like the one we see between today between the consrvative and charimatic churches. That started durng the pentacostal revival which was an amazing time in the church. What 75 years from now we will look back at this time period as the time of the cultural revival. I would love to see this revival run a little differrently. I don't want to separate myself from evangelical tradition. Postmodernity places a huge value on tradition as long as it is at least 100 years old. We need to esteem the same value on every era of our history. In each one we got a few things right and many things wrong, but lets not re invent the wheel this time. Lets just come to the understanding that we are creating the history of christianity as we speak. If we look back at all the movements of yore, we have a great history, but how much better would it built rather than rebuilt? So tonight I coin the term submerging church (although I am deeply hurt that my originality has long been usurped. I dicovered this via a google search). I am not sure where this church will take us, but it is just an idea. I am out of steam. it's 1:15 am, my wife has been in bed for a couple of hours. I got to stop, but expect to hear more from me on this topic. Please don't take this as a downer for all you emergents out there. I love these principles and everything you stand for. I apoligize to anyone reading this, as you can tell it is very raw. just me thinking late at night, but your comments on this, if it made any sense at all, are very welcome. good night.

Garden State

2005-01-09T23:31:00.000-08:00

Let me say to anyone who reads this blog, that I saw the best movie that I have seen in a while tonight. Garden State completly hit home with me. The whole point of the movie was about being real, and honest and exactly who you are, as ugly as that is. This is when you are at your best. Just felt a need to encourage anyone and everyone to see this movie. It really hit home for me.

A New Member to the Blog Fam

2005-01-09T20:19:00.000-08:00

Here's another friend I want you to check out and watch her grow. She is a great writer and has some great insights from the word. She is also part of my trbe so send her some tribe love.

http://ginaboyett.blogspot.com

Looking Back

2005-01-09T19:58:00.000-08:00

Luke 9:62 – “Anyone who puts his hand to the plow ant hen looks back is not fit for the kingdom of God.”
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I spend a lot of time looking back. Jesus was serious about this too. All the guy wanted to do was go and say goodbye to his mom. Maybe this is another example of literal hyperbole. He actually told the guy to do this but I see in the word over and over again that God does not want us to leave everything behind, including our family. But the looking back thing remains the same. I spend too much time looking back, even fanaticizing about a life free from the call God has on my life. The money that could be made, the house that could be bought, the sports that could be watched, the porn I could watch, all those things, as small as they seem add up to something that is pretty tempting but I know at the same time it is completely empty. I know in both my heart and my mind that life is better like this and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
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Lord, keep me from looking back. Continue to keep me from the temptations that I face and help me to constantly remember that life is better by your rules and with your call on it. I want to you know that I would not trade it for anything. You are so good to me, and I would choose to be your slave over being a free man.

Rivals Schmivals

2005-01-08T13:38:00.000-08:00

Genesis 22:2-3 - "Take your son, your only son – yes, Isaac, whom you love so much – and go to the land of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains, which I will point out to you." The next morning Abraham got up early. He saddled his donkey and took two of his servants with him, along with his son Isaac. Then he chopped wood to build a fire for a burnt offering and set out for the place where God had told him to go.”
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No debate? No questioning the Lord? No questioning your hearing? How can this be. I tell you right now I would be questioning the Lord if he said this to me. I don’t have a son but the person I love most in this world is my wife. If I heard the Lord call me to sacrifice her I have no clue how I would respond? I can guarantee that I would put up more than a fight than this guy did.
The real meaning behind this story is (at least I hope it is) that I need to be willing to lay down anything if the Lord calls me to. I need to be willing to say I will never spend one more moment of my life with __________ (insert precious pastime or person here). Of course the Lord would never call me to give up a few of those things most precious to me, but there are others he could. If you read my profile you’ll find out that videogames are one of my hobbies. That may be an understatement. I tend to become obsessed with them. I need to be willing to sacrifice my Xbox as a burnt offering to the Lord. I really love the sport of baseball, but I need to be willing to never check another score or watch another game for the Lord. But I know him well enough to know that he does not taking joy in stealing the things I love in my life. He just wants what is due to him, first place in my life, and I know that sometimes he takes away his rivals. It seems dirty by our rules, but then again he made up the rules.
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Lord, let nothing rival you in my life. Be my first desire. When things get in front of you I give you permission to remove them or to ask me to remove them. You are the most important part of my life. Help me to keep it that way. I love you.

Love Bate

2005-01-07T18:39:00.000-08:00

Luke 7:47 – “I tell you, her sins - and they are many – have been forgiven, so she has shown me much love.”
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I so easily forget this as being one of the primary reasons that I need to show the Lord my love. I so often get caught up in the experience and equating that with loving the Lord, but the truth is that this lady had an experience with the Lord like none other and it was based on the realization of how much she had been forgiven. I am always trying to conjure up feelings of Love for the Lord but recalling this, my forgiveness 13 years ago and the forgiveness that happens daily, is something I rarely do. Living and loving in that way is the aim of my prayer today.
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Lord, my prayer is that you remind me of how much you changed everything in my life. Today I ask specifically that you would help me to recall how much sin I had in my life before I met you, and how much sin has been forgotten by you since you have been the Lord of my life. I should be desperately in love with you for this very reason. My prayer is that tonight and whenever I am feeling not as intimate as I would like with you, that you would remind me of what sin you have freed me and forgiven me from. This will send my heart burning after you, where it is supposed to be.

Terrified!

2005-01-06T23:02:00.000-08:00

Thought this picture deserved a look from my readers. I know it's in to post tsunami pics right now but this is the craziest one I have seen.

Literal Hyperbole

2005-01-06T20:06:00.000-08:00

Luke 6:35-36 - "Love your enemies! Do good to them! Lend to them! And don't be concerned that they might not repay. Then your reward from heaven will be very great, and you will truly be acting as children of the Most High, for he is kind to the unthankful and to those who are wicked. You must be compassionate, just as your Father is compassionate.”
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On April Fools Day last year my car was broken into. I remember the date well because I was sure someone was playing a trick on me. They had ripped apart my dash, taken my CD player and all my CD’s (burned copies of my CD’s) including an audio New Testament I had been recently given. Turns out it wasn’t a prank. I was furious. My experience is that even more than I missed the things stolen from me, I felt violated. I didn’t want to be in my car the next day, it left me feeling taken advantage of. My ripped up stereo panel was left with nothing but wires with molten electrical tape covering their tips. Perhaps if you have had your car broken into you can relate.

That got me thinking how Jesus would have reacted in a similar situation. The trouble with understanding Jesus and his teachings is that he so often uses hyperbole so well that you can’t decipher whether or not he intends for his followers to actually do it. For instance when he calls people to cut off there hands if it causes them to sin. This is clearly hyperbole, but at the same time I have had rational seeming thoughts that I could use justify doing something like this. Even more difficult to understand is this passage here from earlier in the Sermon on the Mount. Does Jesus truly intend for us to love our enemies this much? Should we truly allow ourselves to be further physically assaulted by turning the other cheek? Should we give more than extortionists ask for when they approach us? Should we truly lend to those who have no intention of repaying us, or is the Lord just trying to make the point that we should try to get along with those we don’t like?

I don’t know. That is the only answer I can give to this statement. But it appears to me that from the plain reading of the scriptures that Jesus did exactly that. He gave his life to his enemies. Although I can’t say for sure what Jesus’ intent was in giving this instruction, I know that following them to the letter will do nothing to hurt the kingdom and everything for those who are currently opposed to God. So here I write that that I want to live my life taking the risk of giving to much. I will, or at least it is my aim to allow myself to be walked over completely for the furtherance of the gospel. I am willing right now to let myself be robbed, slapped, and taken advantage of if it will bring glory to the Lord. If you think I have taken this to far, just assume I speaking in hyperbole.
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Lord I ask you to help me to be more like you. That sounds so cliché but I mean it completely. I on my own will fail at loving my enemies the way you said to, and the way you did. Remind me constantly that I am called to love like this, I give you complete permission. Help me to respond in the same way you would. I need you desperately. Make me more like you.

New Template

2005-01-05T21:39:00.000-08:00

It has come to my attention that one of my best friends in the world decided to blog recently and chose the same template as me, just to spite me. So I have elected to go with this new background. And to top it all off he has stolen my life vision statement and placed it in his blog description line. Be sure to write him a post and let him know that he is a biter, and a spiritual theif. Send him my love as well.
http://puaahunter.blogspot.com

Moss on all Sides

2005-01-05T16:24:00.000-08:00

Today I realized something as I read through the word and looked for something to jump out at me. I got to thinking about moss and how I never realized it until someone told me this last year but moss only grows on the north side of trees. I found that odd, but remarkably true in all the evidence I could find. As I drove down the street I looked out every few minutes and sure enough the moss was only on the north side of the trees. I am a pastor so don’t look to me to explain why this is true or what cause this to happen. But I can tell you a place where moss doesn’t only grow on the north side of the trees. Hilo Hawaii. I lived here for the first two years of my life, and that place is warm year round and wet year round. The trees there don’t know summer from winter or north from south, they just grow and the moss does the same covering not only the trees but all the rocks, and the sidewalks and anything else that stays in one place long enough. I want to be like the trees of Hilo rather than the trees that I see today. I want to be able to grow from anything that come my way, not just when the conditions are ideal. I don’t need to be in my room with soft monastic music playing to grow (For the record I have never done that and have no problem with those who do). I don’t even need to be in the word when I grow. I just need to be ready to grow at all times. God wants to do so much in me and through me, that I don’t want it to only happen in the winter on my north side. I want it from all avenues. I just want to grow.
Anyway several things did jump out at me but I felt writing about them would be nearly useless. I don’t mean to say that there wouldn’t have been some benefit to spending time writing and processing those scriptures, but I Just didn’t feel particularly inspired to write about any of them. Let me give you an example: I read Luke 5:11 which says, “They (the first few disciples) left everything they had and followed Jesus.” What an amazing verse, but the problem is that I have had other times in my life where that same verse, or possibly the ones like it in Matthew, jumped out and me and inspired me for the day. I am not saying that this can’t happen again with the same verse, or that we should only read the bible once through and be done with it. I am just saying that I didn’t want to have to feign passion. I am passionate about this verse don’t get me wrong, I am just not sure that there is an application for this passion in my life right now. The last thing I want to be in my journal is fake. It’s my journal man. This journal is to track my spiritual growth and it is online so that others can keep me accountable to grow spiritually. I don’t want to fake growth, because when I do I think I miss out on other kinds of growth, like the growth that is happening as I write this.
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Lord, help me to grow as I write in this journal. I pray that as I read scripture tomorrow, you would help me to passionately apply what you are showing me. I pray that you would mark my life with transparency, and that you would teach me from many aspects of my life – being a husband, a pastor, son a father, and scripture. Use any area of my life to grow me and humble me enough to grow. Be the center of my life.