Home Is Where Your Heart Is
This post will contain little spiritual content. I just wanted to share what has been going on today. I dream of one day owning my own home. Be that a condo, or a house, I just want to be able to do that. Unfortunately, I live in just about the worst place in the country to do that. Tonight however we spent the night at my inlaws and decided to get much more proactive about buying a place. They want to help us out with that as they help themselves out with it. There thought is that placing money into real estate here in this part of the country is a better investment than their stocks have been, so they want to split the cost of a place with us and have a partnership setup. So we are putting wheels in motion that way. I am not sure what I am supposed to do with this. I feel almost childish, and certainly balless, having to split the cost of a place with my parents. I feel like this is not part of the leaving and cleaving process. I am just not sure that I care about that. Real estate is so weird here and extremely inflated, but it shows no signs of deflating, so what can you say about that.
All I can ask is that you would pray with s about this. I am feeling more and more drawn to this place for ministry everyday. Pray that God would give us wisdom as we go through this process. Pray that God would truly take care of us and our finances. I pray those things Lord, and ask you to prove yourself to be God again in my life.
posted by Thomas at 11:09 PM
3 Comments:
Hi Thomas,
I know what you're going through in your mind; when T and I got married, we had to decide where to "set up camp". T knew he was going to start a media business, and I was going to do some freelance design work. We were looking at Emeryville, and around that same time my father-in-law wanted to invest in some East Bay real estate. So we ended up in a 6th story condo, without any money. We did make as much of the payments as we could, and we paid all the taxes; though this didn't amount to very much in the grander scheme. But we really needed the help, and where we chose to live ended up being really beneficial for both of us. (Ted rented office space in the building and was able to see clients there, while I found part-time work at the CD design place right next door.)
I know I'm being more open about this than is conventional, but I wanted to share what seems to be a common modern dilemma for young people who don't follow the world's way of getting the best desk job with benefits they can. Nothing wrong with that, I just mean that some people are called to do different things and lead a different lifestyle. And even those who want a desk job can face these same challenges; doing the conventional thing is also becoming a very difficult way to succeed in a time when many people don't have benefits, salaries are proportionally lower, and costs of living are exorbitant.
So what to do when you're young, working for something you believe in, married, and *gasp* expecting a baby? (Gasp was due to our own recent discussions on the matter.) I understand that American culture dictates a necessary independence, that you must strike out on your own and make it for yourself, etc etc. It's a good value, just not one that T and I value. There are many reasons for this decision (you can ask me later if you're really wondering) but we have realized that our family is important, and that they want to support us emotionally, spiritually, and sometimes financially. That doesn't always feel good, but at the same time, all of us being together is really important to us.
For the same reasons mentioned above (again, you can ask) we have realized that if we are to ever have a family, or even achieve stability, we need help if any of those things can happen before we're in our thirties. Modern life is very difficult for people just starting out, even in places that aren't as expensive as they are here. So we're letting God guide us, and we hope we can give as much back to our family, if not financially then however God would like us to contribute.
I think it's helpful to examine where the whole "leaving and cleaving" idea comes from, what it means to you, and whether it is a value that you want to keep in your mind. And the whole "ball-less" thing, in my opinion, may be some guilt for not being able to adhere to that value. All we can do is to evaluate our place in our society, and decide how we want to proceed with our lives in a realistic way. Getting the right mix of society's values and God's values is really hard, something that I'm just starting to really work on. We'll be thinking about you and praying for you guys, I hope that you can find some peace in your heart.
With love,
K & T
10:54 AM
BALLESS. mmhmmm.
i've got a story to share with you. email me and remind me to do so.
4:23 PM
Be careful dude. It may not be an issue because your parents aren't in town, but I know a couple that have come really close to losing their marriage (their sanity is long gone) because of the ever-present influence of the parents. The parents have NOT been cool about it either though. They are always there to remind the couple, "you know how much we have sacrificed for you? You know how much money we have put into this house?" They are always holding this act of kindness over this young couple's heads. Like I said, this may not be an issue with your parents, and I can't blame you for wanting to do whatever it takes to "get in the game" so to speak. I feel your pain... Median home prices in my neighborhood are currently over $639,000. OUCH..... there's no way!!!!
12:05 AM
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