Living Vicariously

Mark 8:27-29 - "Who do people say I am?"

"Well," they replied, "some say John the Baptist, some say Elijah, and others say you are one of the other prophets."

Then Jesus asked, "Who do you say I am?"

This is kind of funny, but I will post it anyway. I thought I had a major revelation with this verse, and I spent a lot of time meditating on it, only to find out that I misread it. I thought Jesus repeated himself completely, asking who peter said he was twice. I was trying to make the point that Peter answered on behalf of other people instead of giving is on opinion. That is not in fact what happened, but I do believe that the truth that I learn from that non scriptural revelation still applies.

I so often live my Christian life vicariously through others. I am read scripture, in light of how the verses I read can affect others. I take others philosophy of ministry, and thoughts on god and make them my own. The truth is that often I feel like I miss out on what God wants to communicate to me personally. Honestly I don’t remember the last time that I have heard the Lord speak to me about me. That’s not true, I have. It is just easier for me to ignore what he says about my life and impose lessons I have learned on others.

I feel like in the spirit of openness, I should list some of the things that God shows me that I continually ignore.

1. I have lost my heart of a servant. I had it at one point and now don’t see it. I want to worship God again through service, and believe me, he wants me to do that too.

2. I need to get my selfish ambition out of the way. I so often see things through the lens of personal success rather than kingdom success.

3. I need to do a better job of loving people. I need to value people the way God does. I need to be a better listener to others. This is the real reason that friends are different as seen in the last post. It has nothing to do with that friendship quota crap.

4. I am falling short in my prayer life. I started that prayer list page in hopes of it helping that, but it hasn’t worked out very well. I need to be a prayer.

That’s a big enough list. That’s enough to work on for this year.

God remind me of this list constantly throughout my day. I want to not just hear you but obey. I have fallen short. I have written these things on my hand. Write them on my heart. I want more of you, and I know from experience that more requires that I do the things I have all ready been called to do. I am sorry I haven’t. Help me to stop externalizing your word.

I want to stop living vicariously through others and let Him live vicariously through me.