i wish i was a neutron bomb, for once I could go off. - eddie vedder

Thursday, March 31, 2005

Contempt for Familiarity

Taken from the message somewhere in 1 Corinthians 11 – “You will be drawn back to this meal again and again until the master returns. You must never let familiarity breed contempt.”

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Guilty as charged. Paul is talking about taking communion here, and Eugene Peterson paraphrases it this way. I would say that more often than not I do something like this. I guess it comes down to what you call contempt. He goes on to describe it as taking communion in a meaningless way. When communion comes around at church, I wind up taking it several times, once at each service. Am I really expected to conjure up fresh insight for each taking? How can I keep familiarity from ruining my moment with JC.

It goes well beyond communion too. I know I have the same problem with reading the word too. I will be drawn back to that again and again. Familiarity often gets in the way. I have read what I am reading before and in many cases have had a revelation in the past with a particular verse. I am not saying that god can’t give me fresh revelation, but just that it doesn’t always happen.

Worship songs are another prime example. Just about everyone of them has a amazing message, that we should be able to bring to the Lord. Some of these songs we will bring again and again. Should “The Battle Belongs to the Lord” or “Lord I Lift your Name on High” still inspire us perfectly? Is it wrong that it doesn’t?

I have to believe that what the heart of this passage is all about is letting the message always move me, and never to get bogged down in the repetitiveness of the vehicle. The story of Gods redemptive plan and what that entitles me to should be the only thing on this earth that does not bore me. I should constantly be moved by that. But the vehicles that declare this truth or parts of it can come and go. Frankly I am glad we only do communion once in a while at hope. I have been to places where they do it every week, and it quickly loses its meaning. This makes it a lot easier for me.

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Lord help me to never let familiarity breed contempt. I even pray that old vehicles would still move me into a real experience with you. I want that no matter what. Use whatever means necessary to get a hold of me. Thanks for dying child. That will always move me.

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Preemptive Grace

1 Corinthians 10:13 – But remember that the temptations that come into your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will keep the temptation from being so strong that you can’t stand up against it. When you are tempted he will show you a way out so that you will not give in to it.

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I am not sure I believe this. Of course I believe it because it is in the bible so my soul knows it is true, but everything in this earth and everything I have seen in my life has shown me otherwise. Sure I believe the first part; my temptations are no different from anyone else’s. I know the Lord is faithful. The next line is a little harder to believe, but I could see how that would be true. There is always a possibility to stand up to a temptation. I have never felt completely overtaken by a temptation, to the point where I had no control. It is just the last sentence that I have never experienced. I don’t feel like I am always shown a way out to my temptation. It sounds like there is to be a choice. You can look at that girl walking on the street, or here there is a way out. Sometimes it has been my experience that sin has a way of sneaking up on me. I feel like I sin sometimes and don’t realize that it was wrong until after it is done, then conviction sets in, and I miss my way out that this passage promises.

Even so I trust this word to be true. I will look harder for ways out when sin is approaching. It is in the bible for a reason and I pray that I get to experience this today.

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Lord, show me ways out of sin. I feel like I have missed them in the past. I want to experience your preemptive grace, keeping me from separation from you rather than restoring it. Keep me from breaking your heart.

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

I want, I want, I need... - Bob Wylie

Tonight in reading I came to a passage in 1 Corinthians 9. the passage was all about the people benefiting from Christian workers, meeting the needs of that worker. That got me thinking about stuff. Let me be honest. I think I have the best job that in the world. The way I figure it, as Christians we all have an equal burden to share the gospel and do the work of the ministry. I just don’t have to do anything else (with the major exception of my other half time job driving huge blocks of steel all over the state). I am living in a dream world. I love my job.

But the question arises of what exactly needs means. I am not sure exactly but I know it means something different in our heads as it did in Paul’s when he writes this. In Paul's writing here he clearly defines needs as food and shelter. So my question is who decides on the needs that God is going to provide for us. Is it us, our culture or the biblical culture into which these passages were spoken. In this day and age few would argue that a person needs electricity, a few sets of clothes, a vehicle, a phone, and the list goes on and on. The problem with that is that there are many people in my own town that are missing one or more of the things mentioned above. I have just always heard it taught that if we honor God and are generous, that God would take real good care of us. I took that to mean living in a decent house, with cars and cable. But maybe the real prosperity of the gospel is found in food and shelter. That is what the word promises. My wife and I were talking the other day and acknowledged that our poverty has never affected our diet. We don’t consider ourselves rich, but if I look at it from others eyes, we have so much. Maybe that’s why we don’t constantly see God pouring out financial blessings. He doesn’t think we need it. Maybe God knows a humans needs better than I do. I will trust him in that.

Saturday, March 26, 2005

Like a Servant for the Very First Time

I watched the passion again last night. I hate that movie. It is fantastic, well done and life changing, but I hate watching it. I like the way it moves me to worship the Lord but those 2 hours are tough for me. I hadn’t seen it since last February when I saw it in the theater on Ash Wednesday, the day it came out. The first time I tried to watch every bit of it and not cover my eyes. I felt it was important to take it all in. This time I didn’t even try. I spent a good amount of time, head in hands.

The thing that got me the most this time was JC’s servant hood. There was a flashback where he washed one of the disciple’s feet. A perfect example of servant hood. But there was more. An even better example of servant hood was the way he took our sins. I don’t mean to sound cliché or cheesy, but I really never realized that side of the cross. It was the ultimate act of servant hood.

Servant hood is something that we have skewed in the modern church. The idea today is that if you hand our bulletins at church, or if you play electric guitar on the worship team that you have done your service. I am not knocking those things. They are both vital parts of making ministry work. My point is that people have lost touch with the service lifestyle that Christ embodied. He would not have stopped at ushering, for fear of burning out. Why can’t we live like that?

For the past few weeks there has been a small problem at church. There is the always pleasant smell of dead rodent coming from underneath the stage. If you were up there, you probably noticed it. Don’t have a very strong sense of smell and even I got a whiff of it. If I had to guess, I would say that at least 10 people told me about it. “Thomas, it smells like something died under the stage.” “Thomas could you have Sam (our church maintenance guy) take a look and see if there is something dead under here?” “You really need to get Sam up here to get whatever’s down there out.” This went on for at least two weeks. I am quite confident that JC would have taken a different approach. Let’s face it, no one, not even Sam, wants to pull dead rodents out of cramped stages. It is never fun. I have to believe that my Lord, the one who suffered every lashing depicted in the Passion, would have done something like this to serve his brother. If you are one of those people who said something to me or anyone about the smell, please do not take offense at this. I feel equally ashamed because I did nothing more than relay these messages to Sam. I personally felt ashamed of myself. I think of myself as a servant, but so rarely do I do something that no one would notice, that I don’t have to do. Jesus did not have to die, but he did, for me, and everyone else, and so many of us did not notice what an act of service that was.

I said a few weeks ago that this was one of the areas of my life that I need to work on. I know that the Lord is confirming that in me now. My service is not complete, when I lead worship, or preach. God wants more than that, and I will serve him.

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Fricking Blogger

There is nothing on this earth that is a bigger downer than losing work on you computer. We have all experienced this before. You spend a lot of time working on something and then some bug messes it all up and you lose your work. That happened to me today and I am completly furious. I spent a god 45 minutes of my life writing a thoughtful piece on the "sin" of overeating, and lost it when I tried to preview it. I spent the last 30 mintes praying fo God to bring my temper down, and compose me. It worked kind of. Anyway, post your thoughts on this topic if you will...

Is it a sin to overeat?

Lord don't let my anger separate me from you and your will for my life. I pray that you would still use me tonight at roots. Change peoples lies throught the power of the holy spirit. I need that power to continue to change mine.

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

A Prayer

A prayer – “Father I pray that you would search my heart and remove any prideful desire to impress people rather than to reach them. I don’t want to make my reputations with Christians more important than my purpose with you. Help me Lord, to be motivated out of sincere love and care for people…” – Judah Smith in Soul Seekers.

Lord that is the prayer for my heart. I want a broken heart and a contrite spirit so that I can give those things to you, and have you make me new. I will be broken before you. Draw me to yourself, so that I san only rely on you and your strength. So often I skate by on my own. Help me to stop that by whatever means necessary. This attitude your word says you will not despise. DO the opposite for me. I am clay for you. Clay is humble, because it has no desires of its own. Make it so in my life. I love you Lord.

Monday, March 21, 2005

This Just In!

It's a girl! I was the only one who thought it would be a boy, and it looks like my prophetic ability has failed me again. Don't stone me or my little 3/4 pound daughter would be fatherless. I am so excited, and I say that word in its truest form. The doctors wouldn't come out and call it a girl, but they repetedly said "I don't see anything that would lead me to believe it's a boy." I am so amazed by this whole pregnancy process, and I am so thankful for my wife, and the wave she has bravely taken on this new part of our lives.

So be happy. I know that I am

Sunday, March 20, 2005

LIVESTRONG

I hate cancer. I am glad I had a chance to clear that up. Now let me tell you about a growing trend that is bothering me. I am not a fan of cancer accessories. Primarily those wristbands, but any kind of disease support apparel just doesn’t sit well with me. I realize that the proceeds go to fighting the disease, but I just am sick of the fashion statement they have become.



The wristbands all started just a short while ago with the Lance Armstrong “Livestrong” bracelets. They were yellow, and stood for disliking cancer. Then the pink ones came along for those who wanted to make the statement “I hate cancer, especially cancer that attacks breasts.” I have now seen red ones that step beyond cancer into the hatred of aids realm. Finally I saw a friend of mine wearing a purple bracelet. I asked him what it was for and he said it was for disease.

I guess the thing is I am not sure I understand the statement people are trying to make by wearing these accessories. 99.9 percent of the population hates these diseases too, what are you trying to get across? About six years ago the original statement bracelet came out. Unlike the others it was something that not everybody agreed on. Because of this they got sort of a bad wrap. You didn’t see every star wearing them on the red carpet. (Nothing matches better that a 50 thousand dollar dress and a two dollar yellow rubber bracelet) I didn’t even wear one of these bracelets even though I completely believed in the message. They simply asked WWJD?

I am not trying to start a campaign to bring back WWJD bracelets, I am simply curious especially when I read Romans 1:16 - I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes. Since we can establish that it isn’t cheap bracelets that are out of fashion, can we conclude that the message these old bracelets carry is? Am I ashamed of my message? As much as I dislike aids and cancer, I dislike hell even more. It is said that in my part of the world something like one in five people get cancer at some point in their life. It is not my place to judge, but I bet that a lot more than that don’t know the Lord.

So here is what I ma not going to do. I will not decide to sport the WWJD bracelet. Instead I am going to make a commitment to hate hell more than any other disease in this world. It is the number one killer. I want to put all my efforts into stopping it. It isn’t going to take cheesy message accessories. I am just going to live it. Even if that goes out of style.



Friday, March 18, 2005

Hippies with Hygiene

For those of you who don’t know me real well I have a confession to make. Some of my long time friends know this about me, but in the interest of transparency, here’s a juicy tidbit: My favorite show on TV is South Park. Can you still respect me? If you think I am a terrible person, let me know and I will explain to you my thoughts on why it is OK for me to watch this show. Not that any of my normal readers would think this, because they all have a perfect understanding of our freedom in Christ.


I bring the show up because I think this weeks episode has an interesting parallel for us to draw as Christians. The premise of the show was that hippies started to move to
South Park. At first the people did not care, but eventually the hippies started to destroy the way of life for the people of south park. They had a giant Woodstock-like festival and soon enough the entire town smelled like weed. Some of the boys were drawn in by the hippie ideas, and decided to take up their cause. They went along with the festival as a plan to draw people together, in hopes that when they had enough people they would unite and defeat the things that hippies are against. To their dismay, all the hippies wanted to do was talk about their ideas, and have a festival. There was no real action behind it. There was no bite to the bark.


This brings to mind the story of Jesus calling his disciples. He is at a body of water and asks some guys who were washing their nets, to get their stuff dirty again and try fishing one more time. They hadn’t caught anything all night, but they gave it a shot anyway, and wound up catching more than they could handle. This story depicts the kind of Christian that I no longer want to be. For so much of my life I have been a net washing Christian. It is important to do that, because if I don’t wash my net it will rot and deteriorate after a while. But I have little to wash off of my net because so rarely do I use it. Like the hippies in the episode of
South Park I talk the talk but rarely walk the walk.


It comes down to an issue of trust. I know that will not leave me hanging. If I get out there and use my net, I will bring in fish. Probably more than I could handle. But that requires me to throw them out there. That’s risky. I need to take the Lord at his word and trust him anyway though. I am tired of talking, I want to be what I talk about. I may be taking this old adage out of context, but I think the point can be made - There are plenty of fish in the sea.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Soul Seekers

Here’s a quote from a new book that I am reading. It is called Soul Seekers by Judah Smith. In the third chapter he says:

“In the Christian world, doing big events to reach people is vogue and makes headlines. But before you hold a rally to see your entire campus saved, why not start with loving one friend. Before you try to feed all the homeless people in your city, why not start by feeding one? Before you move to Africa to start an orphanage, take the neighbor kids, whose parents just got a divorce, to the local pizza place. If you don’t launch out a little and touch the life of your neighbor, will you really be ready for the big event?”

This quote rocked me. I guess I am a lime light kind of guy. I am always looking for the big thing that God has for me and never seem to have time for the little. The Lord entrusts those who are faithful with the little with even more. I need to do that.

God vs. My Bright Ideas

1 Corinthians 2:1-2 – “Dear brothers and sisters, when I first came to you I didn’t use lofty words or brilliant ideas to tell you Gods message. I decided to concentrate only on Jesus Christ and his death on the cross.”

Does this approach still work? I spend about 8 hours each week getting ready to share a message in front of the church. To those of you who have heard me speak you may be shocked by this. You may be thinking “he should have much better stories if he is spending 8 hours on it,” or “it seems like he is making it up as he goes along.” The bottom line however is that it takes a long time for me to prepare to deliver a message.

This passage doesn’t say how long it took Paul to come up with his messages, but from the sound of the passage it wasn’t very long. As I said in some of my previous posts We have a special preacher at church this weekend. He has the gift of healing and wants to teach about it and pray for people. When we asked him what he was going to talk about he said, what ever the spirit leads, implying that he is just going to get up there and start, talk and finish 45 minutes later. In our culture this is completely unacceptable. In Pakistan there seems to be no thought about it. This is how it is done, and that’s how he does it. I am excited to see how it comes out.

As for my preaching style, I don’t plan on drastically changing it to shooting from the hip the whole time, but there is something for me to learn here. No matter how good your powerpoint is or how perfectly told your illustrations are, without the power of God, the Holy Spirit, the message is a complete waste of time. I want God to live through the way that I teach, so I am going to pray that way.

Lord, keep teaching me about how to effectively communicate to your people. Better yet just use me as a vessel. Let me be your mouth piece. Continue to humble me to a point where I am completely reliant upon you. I don’t want to be forced to use stories of old, quotes and clichés. I want your power to flow though me. Please do that in Jesus name.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Sloppy Theology

I just got back from church tonight. We had a guy from Pakistan there who taught about Islam and Christianity. He then opened up the floor to anyone who wanted to receive healing. People went up, he prayed, some were “slain in the spirit” (I put that in quotes not to take away from the validity of the occasion, but simply to point out that it is not a biblical term, and I am not particularly fond of the terminology) I assume that some were healed and others were not based upon their reaction. I feel the need to be perfectly honest and I have to say that I do not fully understand healing and Christianity, and how they relate. I have seen the Lord use my prayers to heal others, but I can’t seem to neatly fit healing into my logical theology.

My problems arise when I try to answer the question of why some people aren’t healed? The obvious answer to that is that the Lord has a bigger plan. He wants to do something inside of them. Shouldn’t I have deciphered that before praying? Romans 8:16 says that our finite minds can’t comprehend everything that God wants to do, so the spirit himself intercedes for us when we don’t know how we should pray. Should prayers that God plans not to answer not be prayed in the first place? You are probably saying no, we should pray all the time no matter what. Then my question becomes how do we have faith in that, knowing that I might be praying something that God has different plans about? If faith is all that is required to do miracles, how can I have faith when I pray, if there is a real chance that my prayer won’t be answered even though it is for good reason? This is why so many Christians have been crippled into praying only that God’s will be done.

See what I mean. It doesn’t seem to fit well. I am excited for Sunday to see what the Lord is going to do in a more healing friendly context. Pray for God to be mighty and powerful there that day and that lives would be turned for God. That is the real reason why he heals people in the first place.

Lord, give me faith to move mountains. Teach me about healing. Don’t let me get in the way. I want you more than anything, even if it is messy.

Monday, March 14, 2005

Free Slaves

Galatians 5:13 – “For you have been called to live in freedom - not freedom to satisfy your sinful nature, but freedom to serve one another in love.”

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My generation places a huge value on freedom. We are the product of the Baby Boomers who started the trend, but there is a new movement in the Christian community that celebrates our freedom in Christ more than any generation in history. I have been thinking a lot about our freedom in Christ lately. It was spawned during a discussion we had in our church staff meeting. The discussion really got us nowhere, and we left more confused than we came.

This verse sheds a little light on my personal philosophy of the best way to handle this seeming paradox. My attitude should be that my freedom is primarily to serve others, rather than to do what I wish with things not explicitly condemned in scripture. We live in a world where there are two kinds of people. Some would be encouraged towards God by seeing an active Christian drinking. Others would be turned off by something like that. My response needs to be on a case by case situation, to what would best serve the person I am trying to reach. This is just one passage to applies to this area. I look forward to whatever else the Lord shows me this week on this topic. I feel a topic coming on for tribe this week.

Sunday, March 13, 2005

The Christian Conjurer

Galatians 4:23 - The son of the slave-wife was born in a human attempt to bring about the fulfillment of God's promise. But the son of the freeborn wife was born as God's own fulfillment of his promise.

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This verse stood out to me this morning because I so often am like Abraham in this story. I want Gods promises to come about so badly that I will just conjure up something myself, throw a “property of god” label on it and call it the Holy Spirit. I am sure that we all must do this. What we are really doing when we do this is taking the Lords name in vain. We are taking something that we have created with our finite ability, and lowering God to that level, making him only as capable as we are. I really don’t like that I do this, but something in me tells me that God needs back up or something. Like when I lead worship, I know that I often have a backup plan. I will lead and provide a place for god to move, but if he doesn’t… I got his back. But the Lord doesn’t need me to fulfill his promises. He needs me to walk in them. What I wind up doing is stealing the amazing things that God wants to do. He wanted to be my plan B when his plan A seemed to fail (I have learned that chances are it didn’t fail, I just perceived it that way. I want to stop this and be better at trusting God and his promises.

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Lord help me to trust you more. So many promises of yours can be missed, not just because we sin, but because we assume that your promises are too far fetched. We figure that we give you a window and expect you to jump through it. I am sorry for making you as small as I am. In reality you are much bigger. Help me to remember that and never have to get to plan b, because I know that your plan A can always work. I need to expect it, and you will be faithful. Thank you for always being faithful.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Cryfest 2005

I don’t cry very often anymore. As a kid I cried all the time about the littlest things. I was so passionate about sports that I cried when I got scored on in soccer (I was the goalie). I cried when I struck out in baseball (I didn’t very often). I just hated disappointing others and knew I myself could do better. Since middle school, my crying time has been very limited. I grew out of that hyper emotional state, to the man you see now. I hate to cry, and I hate it when people around me cry. The time I really remember crying was at my wedding. It was the end of an era, and therefore sad, yet extremely happy at the same time. Besides that I can only recall two other crying times in the past few years. Both of them happened to revolve around baseball. In 98 I balled when mark mcgwire hit #62. Then in this decade I cried each time the Yankees won the world series. If I had to average it all out I would say that I am good for one cry a year. Tonight I held cryfest 2005.

Let me caution you fellow bloggers with this. Beware, your parents could possibly read your blog. Be sure they don’t find out important stuff by reading your blog. Lets say, for instance, you get engaged. Don’t write it in your blog until you tell your parents face to face, or if you must over the phone. I made this mistake in my post “Home is where your heart is.” Tonight I called my parents happy to tell them all of the great strides we are making in adulthood, and to let them in on this condo purchasing talk. They were all ready keen on most of it. I hadn’t thought that through completely. That wasn’t all there was to it though.

I love my parents so very much. It pains me everyday to be 3000 miles and 500 dollars away from them. I guess for them hearing about out home buying escapades added one more level of permenance to our separation. They, being the loving parents that they are, reminded me of how much they love me and Mellissa, all the while compounding the guilt that we feel for living this far away. None of this intentional of course, they are just being honest. But it wasn’t even the guilt that got to me. I feel that my spiritual calling in a way trumped that. I know the Lord wants me here, so I blame him for the distance between my parents and myself.

The thing that really got to me is when my dad stumbled over his words and they came out, not quite how he meant them. He said that I was not his son anymore. That wasn’t what he meant to get across, but he was trying to let me know how much he missed me. The thing that really gets me, even now is that I feel the same way. I miss them more than anything I have ever missed in my life. They mean the absolute world to me and it literally hurts my heart that we have to be apart. Just the thought of not seeing them as often as I would like makes me so sad. I want to be that son who my mom dreams about. The one who comes over with his family for Sunday dinner. That would be a dream come true. Coming to terms with that is the hard part. It is an irreconciliable difference. I cannot be there, because I know the Lord has me here. They can’t be here because that is where there life is. There is nothing I can do. Tonight I came to terms with that and it break my heart.

Mellissa rubbed my back as I cried into my pillow. It took about 20 minutes. I felt better afterwards. I am glad that I dealt with that. Here’s what I want to say to the most important people in my life.

Mellissa – thanks for being my partner, and my support. My life would have only a fraction of the joy I have now if it weren’t to you.

Tribe/bloggers – I am here because God has me here. We better take full advantage of what he wants to do here through us. I refuse to waste this time. Lets change this place for the Kingdom.

Mom and Dad – I love you, miss you, and need you so much. I am so thankful and proud to be your son.

God – You are the most important on this list so I saved you for last. I am here for you, and live for you. Don’t let me miss out on your plan for my life. It is not worth living without it. I love you.

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Peter, what a Dweeb

Mark 16:7 – “Now go and give this message to his disciples, including Peter: Jesus is going ahead of you to Galilee. You will see him there, just as He told you before He died.”

This passage seemed pretty plain to me at first read, then I got to thinking about that little clause in the middle of it. The angel makes a point to include Peter in this announcement. This was a big deal.

If you saw the passion you remember the seen where Peter denies JC 3 times before the rooster crows. You can see the anguish on his face when he realizes what he had done. For all we know, the rest of the disciples weren’t treating him very well after this event. They were probably debating on what his fate should be. Should they continue to associate with Peter, who denied Christ when he needed him the most? These ladies probably new the story about peter and unless the angel had said something, they wouldn’t have even thought of sharing this good news with Peter. But God had another plan.

He specifically included Peter, and made sure that he was not separated form his disciples. He did everything he could to end division. He reinstated Peter at that moment. I am so thankful that he did because it gives schlubs like me a shot. As a result of reading this I want to make a better effort to love those who let me down, because it reminds me of how much I have let the Lord down, and how he still loves me. Mellissa doesn’t let me down to much, but I need be more loving of her whenever she does, rare as it is. I need to remember that mistakes don’t ruin god’s project. Otherwise I would have been ruined long ago.

Lord help me to be more forgiving, the way you are. I don’t just want to stop there. I want to be more like you in the way you got right past it, and continued to love people. Make me more like you.

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Home Is Where Your Heart Is

This post will contain little spiritual content. I just wanted to share what has been going on today. I dream of one day owning my own home. Be that a condo, or a house, I just want to be able to do that. Unfortunately, I live in just about the worst place in the country to do that. Tonight however we spent the night at my inlaws and decided to get much more proactive about buying a place. They want to help us out with that as they help themselves out with it. There thought is that placing money into real estate here in this part of the country is a better investment than their stocks have been, so they want to split the cost of a place with us and have a partnership setup. So we are putting wheels in motion that way. I am not sure what I am supposed to do with this. I feel almost childish, and certainly balless, having to split the cost of a place with my parents. I feel like this is not part of the leaving and cleaving process. I am just not sure that I care about that. Real estate is so weird here and extremely inflated, but it shows no signs of deflating, so what can you say about that.

All I can ask is that you would pray with s about this. I am feeling more and more drawn to this place for ministry everyday. Pray that God would give us wisdom as we go through this process. Pray that God would truly take care of us and our finances. I pray those things Lord, and ask you to prove yourself to be God again in my life.

Monday, March 07, 2005

A Quote from Ralph Moore

Yesterday I posted on worship, and my heart in it. Here is a quote from a book that I am reading. It's by Ralph Moore and its called "Friends". The chapter is about needing to change the way we do services if we want the church to live in the GenX world. About worship he says this -

"Gen-Xers are not as prone to a polished presentation as previoous generations. A few guitars and a drum set will satisfy their need for sound. Young people would rather sings songs to God than about God. There is a new sense of mystery in the worship form of this generation. One of my staff members calls it "deep worship." Gen-Xers will sing a chorus or a verse over and over, allowing time to enter into the words and the music. The goal is to experience God's presence during worship rather than just make it an offering to Him. For many the encounter with God becomes the message. Bible teaching in this venue merely sets the stage for the experience."

I think he hit the nail on the head. This is a lot of what I was trying to say in my last post. To anyone who has an interest in ministry, and what ministry will need to look like in the next few years (or in some cases today) I would highly recomend this book. It has been teaching me a lot.

Sunday, March 06, 2005

Worship 101

My wife and I were talking about worship and worship leading the other yesterday. I had one of those quotable epiphanies as we discussed our concern with “the worship music industry”. I have long felt that worship has been missing something. That with all these great new songs coming out there is an emptiness in my heart. Something that leaves me longing the way the old songs never did. Over the years I attributed that to several things. Most notably I figured it was my tastes becoming older, and not appreciating the new things that God is doing. I am all ready a fan of flashback lunches on the radio, so why would worship music be any different.

Another though was that maybe I have just lost a small piece of my zeal, and don’t have the same passion that I used to. Songs don’t rock me the way they used to because my heart is not in the same place that it used to be. That’s just a couple of the thoughts that I assigned to my problem with worship as of late.

Don’t get me wrong I am not saying anything about my churches worship. This week alone was fantastic, and Gods presence was real. There are many songs that I still absolutely love, it just feels that there are less of them now than I remember their being before. So without further ado, I will present my thoughts on why I have a hard time with a large amount of the new music that is coming out nowadays.

Worship music almost appears to have turned a corner. It wasn’t a minor shift in style or anything insignificant like that. It is my opinion that the function of a worship song has changed. The function today of a worship song is to be worshipful words for a congregation to cry out to God. That is awesome. But I feel like the songs have left the realm in which I am more comfortable. I was raised on songs that’s sole purpose was to lead people into a worshipful encounter. So in one school of thought the song is the vehicle for worship and in the other the actions the song produces is the vehicle for worship. I hope that makes sense to somebody.

I come from a church experience where the worship objective was to meet God in a powerful and supernatural way and the worship music was a tool to bring that about. I miss that so much. I have old cds that are still great to me where you know that there is so much more happening than the simple son that’s being sung. That is how I lead worship to this day. I have said for quite a while that I would like to be a worship leader. I just don’t plan on being the lead musician. A pastor of a church should be the worship leader in the formal sense. There is so much for me to see about the Christian music industry, and anything that involves Christian paraphernalia. That’s a whole other blog entry. We had a great weekend at church this week. From the cool things going on in tribe to the time I had at our services. I want to see a breakthrough in worship in my own life. I want to fall in love with the music again, because of the frame of mind it drags me too. God help me to worship you more.

Silver not Gray

25 down 50 (give or take) to go. Call me morbid, that’s just how I work. I think of it as being a realist. I spent surprisingly little time dwelling on my impending death today, as I normally do each time a birthday rolls around. I figure that I went through my third life crisis last year, so I am cool until 36. That one is going to be tough because it’s the half way point.

Someone shared with me tonight that life is like a jump off the empire state building. When you first go you feel like you will be falling forever, but once you get a little ways into it you realize that it is all going pretty darn quick. That hit me at right around 20, and from what I hear it gets even quicker from here on out.

To tell you the truth, I am not real sure how I am supposed to be feeling. Not just about my birthday, but about my life as a whole. If I am being completely honest, I feel like I am at a pretty good place all in all. I think my goal in growing up (and I am officially grown up now, I can rent a car. In fact I can do anything I want with the exception of being the US President) was just not to disqualify myself from reaching my full potential. I wanted to be able to not have anything that I looked back on and regretted. It is funny but I feel like our generation no longer believes in regret. I really don’t think I have ever heard someone seriously say that they regret a major life decision that they had made. My generation has bought into this idea that all the bad stuff in our lives make us who we are today, and that we wouldn’t want to change that. Never mind, that so many of us don’t like the people that we are. That has always been a pet peeve. If I ever ask you what you regret most about your life, don’t tell me nothing. That is the most phony thing you can say. I understand that those mistakes played a role in your life turning out the way it did, but I know in your heart that you would do anything to have a few of those life decisions back.

For me, If I had to chose just one thing that I wish I could have back, it would be the way I treated my brother. He is not in a very good place right now, and has such abnormal behavior in his life that I can’t help but feel partly responsible. I wasn’t exactly your dream brother. We fought a lot, and I played some pretty dirty tricks on him. I remember once telling him that my parents wish that he had never been born. I think I told my parents about this before, and I know that I apologized to him the next day. I feel so terrible about ever convincing him about that. That’s the part of me that feels bad, and regrets my actions towards him.

I have a lot of other uninteresting things that I regret dong in my life, but my point in all this is that I do not feel disqualified. I can honestly say that 18 year old Thomas couldn’t have dreamed of things being this good. I am so excited about this second 1/3 of my life. I won’t even bother to dream what my life will look like at 50. I will trust that the Lord has it planned out. That’s good enough for me.

Saturday, March 05, 2005

My Tribe

Thanks for making tribe work tonight guys. It is so good to feel gods presence. Pray that we can see it tomorrrow night too.

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Exauted (Tired but Stoked)

Thats how I am feeling right now. I spent 10 hours cooped up in my little office today, and that doesn't include staff meetings and a couple trips home. I have so much work right now (and what appears to be forever). I finished putting together my sermon for this weekend just a few minutes ago. All that not to complain, but to decompress and let you know that I am anticipating this to be an amazing weekend. Tomorrow night at tribe we are planning on having a "prayer and worship night". Basically that boils down to a few extra songs and a time of circling around anyone who needs or wants prayer.
To those of you in my tribe let me say this: I want to see us really taste and see that God is really good. I am expecting tongues and prophecy and words and even healings tomorrow night. I want you all to be prepared and expect some of that kind of stuff to hapen. As we worship, lets not be ashamed, and be sensitive for exactly what God is calling us to do. Ask him what position of worship to take - knees? hands up? prostrate? Ask him if he has a word he wants you to share, or a healing he wants to preform through you. Lets prepare our hearts and expect the closest encounter we have ever had with our God. Why would he not want to do that? So the point is be ready, and make it your responsibility to break the silence and step out in ministry.
I am stoked about my message for saturday night too. You can be praying that I can be an effective mouthpiece for my God. God wants to reclaim some of his people, and I am praying that he would do that on Saturday night.
Join me, and expect big things this weekend. I want to live in that way all the time, starting now.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

The Prayer Lifestyle

Mark 9:28-29 – They asked him, “Why couldn’t we cast out that evil spirit?”
Jesus replied, “This kind can only be cast out by prayer (and fasting).”
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The funny thing about this story is that Jesus appears to be stating something completely false. In this story of Jesus casting out the demon, it makes no mention of him either praying or fasting. He speaks to the demon and tells him to get out. It doesn’t specifically say that he ate, so maybe that was the case and it was just left out by the author.
More likely however, is that Jesus was talking about a lifestyle that allowed him to have the power to cast out demons. I shared yesterday about 4 areas of my life where I need to shape up. One of them was my prayer life. It seems to me that prayer and fasting need to be taking place all the time in order to equip us to do the work that God wants us to do. It is not enough to pray and fast on specific occasions for particular things. That isn’t bad, but Jesus required something else here in this passage. He needed the Holy Spirit’s power and that power was born in his lifestyle of prayer and fasting. I need to take that to heart.
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God today I am focusing on praying more. Keep reminding me. Help me to life a prayer lifestyle so that I am prepared when your power is needed. I don’t want to have to change my lifestyle when you want to do something. I want to be constantly available. Help me.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Living Vicariously

Mark 8:27-29 - "Who do people say I am?"

"Well," they replied, "some say John the Baptist, some say Elijah, and others say you are one of the other prophets."

Then Jesus asked, "Who do you say I am?"


This is kind of funny, but I will post it anyway. I thought I had a major revelation with this verse, and I spent a lot of time meditating on it, only to find out that I misread it. I thought Jesus repeated himself completely, asking who peter said he was twice. I was trying to make the point that Peter answered on behalf of other people instead of giving is on opinion. That is not in fact what happened, but I do believe that the truth that I learn from that non scriptural revelation still applies.

I so often live my Christian life vicariously through others. I am read scripture, in light of how the verses I read can affect others. I take others philosophy of ministry, and thoughts on god and make them my own. The truth is that often I feel like I miss out on what God wants to communicate to me personally. Honestly I don’t remember the last time that I have heard the Lord speak to me about me. That’s not true, I have. It is just easier for me to ignore what he says about my life and impose lessons I have learned on others.

I feel like in the spirit of openness, I should list some of the things that God shows me that I continually ignore.


1. I have lost my heart of a servant. I had it at one point and now don’t see it. I want to worship God again through service, and believe me, he wants me to do that too.

2. I need to get my selfish ambition out of the way. I so often see things through the lens of personal success rather than kingdom success.

3. I need to do a better job of loving people. I need to value people the way God does. I need to be a better listener to others. This is the real reason that friends are different as seen in the last post. It has nothing to do with that friendship quota crap.

4. I am falling short in my prayer life. I started that prayer list page in hopes of it helping that, but it hasn’t worked out very well. I need to be a prayer.

That’s a big enough list. That’s enough to work on for this year.

God remind me of this list constantly throughout my day. I want to not just hear you but obey. I have fallen short. I have written these things on my hand. Write them on my heart. I want more of you, and I know from experience that more requires that I do the things I have all ready been called to do. I am sorry I haven’t. Help me to stop externalizing your word.


I want to stop living vicariously through others and let Him live vicariously through me.