The Christian Climax

Exodus 29:40 – “I am the one who brought them out of Egypt so that I could live among them. I am the Lord their God.”

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This verse spoke to me today. This is found smack in the middle of all the instructions and dimensions of the tabernacle and all its paraphernalia. This little gem is found right in there. I feel like it shows how much the Lord values a relationship with us. He did all of that, the killing of the first born, the locusts, the darkness, the red sea, and on and on – why? To live with his people. He would stop at nothing to be in relationship with his people. Does he feel the same about me today? I have to believe that he does. The question of why I was saved has been going in my head ever since I read that verse about Joseph, and why God saved him in the end of genesis. Is there more to life than trying to be saved?

I heard on the radio this afternoon a preacher who was talking about how he prays for his children. He stressed that the most important thing for us to pray for in regards to our children is “for them to be saved at a young age.” I am just not sure if I buy this any more. Maybe we should rethink the way we pray for people. I want to see people get saved from the fire of hell, but even more than that I want to see God get his way. His way seems to be a relationship with his people. He will stop at nothing to get that. I know I have written a lot on this topic lately, but I can’t just skip by it. I have seen too many “saved” lives wasted. The bottom line is that God cares about relationship more than anything, so I am going to do the same. Even if you could the gospel and a lifelong relationship, I would still side with a relationship, because that is what he wants. So when little ruby or duke (my wife under no circumstances will allow me to name our son duke) come out, I am going to start saying prayers for them to be friends of God, and that they would do nothing in life but be his friend. This should be our real desire.

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God, don’t let me get away with just applying this verse to those who I minister to. If I do this I miss the point. You want all of me too. I give you that, lets fall in love. I am open to it. Draw me unto yourself. Be my best friend. Help me to be a better one to you. At the same time, let me be careful with your gospel. You love to save people from hell but I have to believe that a relationship with them is even more important to you. I will preach this for the rest of my life. Help me to live it.

It's All About The Benjamins

I have been reading a book called “Your Money”. Actually I just started today, and it has been good for me. The premise of the first chapter is that money is, at its essence, a medium for time. Money is earned by time spent. Whether a doctor, who delays the payment of his time until after his education, or a garbage man who can receive the benefit of his time with little other time invested, money is a medium for time. So if we take this a step further, since time is all we have in our life, money is really an exchangeable currency for the commodity of time. When we make a purchase, we are actually exchanging life for life.

Taking this principle to heart, we need to think about our finances in a new light, especially as disciples of Christ. Stealing, whether it be cheating on our taxes or getting involved in get rich quick schemes, is in essence robbing someone of their life. When we mishandle our own finances we are really wasting our life, which is the only commodity of any value to the Lord. I rarely discuss financial topics on my blog, but I was moved by this thought, in light of my current financial situation.

This week we were hit with a bit of a shocker. I picked up a copy of turbo tax and brought it home anxiously, hoping to file immediately and receive a return which would be used for our outstanding dental bill. To my shock I was hit with 2400 dollar debt, and various other underpayment penalties. It is life changing when you find yourself in debt. I couldn’t understand it. We filled out all of our tax paperwork properly, but we still didn’t have enough deducted. I always felt that I had a nose for financial wisdom. Outside of car debts I have never been in debt in my life, which is a huge blessing. Truth is that I now can relate to those who tell me what debt feels like. It feels like a huge weight on your shoulders, an unrelenting pressure.

So we are taking the responsible adult steps toward financial freedom. I had to pick up an extra day at my second job, we are on an entertainment-free budget, and we have an appointment with a CPA to see what options we have. I am just trying to process what God is doing here. Maybe its nothing – we just didn’t pay our taxes. But I have to believe that even though our ignorance led us into this problem, God is doing something. At the very least he is building character in us.

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Lord, I ask you to make me better at managing my money. I have always felt I was good at it, but I know you have even more to teach me about it. I understand that at its essence it is my life in paper form. Build character in me between now and April 15^th. Provide for use like you promise to for those who love you. Help us to be financially prepared for the upcoming task of parenthood. I pray that you would bless us so that we can bless others. It’s all yours anyway. I want to serve you for the rest of my life in the area of my finances.

Foreign Empathy

Exodus 9:10 – “Do not oppress the foreigners living among you. You know what it is like to be a foreigner. Remember your own experience in the land of Egypt.”
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I feel like there are so many ways I could apply this verse. This verse speaks of tolerance for those not like me. It talks about putting myself in the shoes of others, and treating them how I wish I was treated. The application that I see strongest helps me to understand what I saw at tribe last night.

Last week I wrote a post called seeker insensitivity. All week I have been thinking about what tribe should look like and how we cold be more inclusive of people who aren’t currently part of the tribe. In the post I talked about not being so seeker sensitive, but how I approach tribe where we have only had a few visits from “seekers” and they were left seemingly dazed and confused. So I ask the question, is it ok to not be seeker sensitive? God has been helping me to answer that question.

Last night at Tribe, I’d say we had just about our best meeting yet. It seemed that our vision that we had from the beginning was finally able to come around. Last night there were three guys who had never been to the meeting before. Normally this would have me freaking out wondering – “Do they understand what this word means? Do they feel comfortable with this situation? Are they freaked out about my freaky worship leading?” But last night everything just seemed to click. The funny thing is that we were less “seeker sensitive” than ever. We had a spirit filled worship time, including some spontaneous lyrics and choruses. We shared our answers to the question – “Why did God save you?” We had a brief sharing that was about the signs and wonders that God wants us to see. Finally we closed with 40 minutes of prayer divided by gender, complete with words from God, laying of hands, rebuking addiction, and reclaiming men for the Lord. All that to say, it wasn’t your typical “purpose driven meeting”.

But it worked. You could feel the love in the room just like you could feel the 78 degree body heat. One of the guys who described himself as new to the faith, was bold enough to ask for prayer for his addictions. Another one of the 1st timers shared he was devastated after his wife ran out on him six months ago. We prayed for God to raise up chaplains, pastors, and addiction recovery specialists. All that stuff is pretty scary, but I would be willing to bet that we would see some of those guys again.

What the heck does all that have to do with this verse? Well they were foreigners, and I believe we gave those “seekers” the truest glimpse at what we are (or what we want to be at least). They were open and felt loved because we were in our natural state, and unconcerned with what they were thinking. We ceased trying to give a Christian performance and gave them a Christian experience. As a foreigner that would be what I want.
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Lord, continue to give me wisdom on how seeker sensitive to be, if at all. Keep pouring out your blessings and your Holy Spirit. That is the best way to grow your church. I pray that the 18 we had at tribe this week would be dwarfed by the number of people you change through this group in the next few months. Tribe is yours, keep using it. Pour out your Holy Spirit and grow us yourself. Thank you so much for all that you are doing.

Signs and Wonders and Healings

Acts 4:30 – Send your healing power; may miraculous signs and wonders be done through the name of your Holy servant Jesus.
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Man I want that. But I am convicted that I do not want that enough. This is a prayer offered by the disciples immediately after peter and John were put on trial for healing in the name of Jesus. They prayed this prayer. Why do I never pray like this. I don’t pray as much as I should in general, but for these kinds of things, I don’t pray anywhere near enough. This is what made the church grow. Just before this 5000 men came to know the Lord. They were drawn by the healing of a crippled man. This is the most untapped method of church growth – signs, wonders and healings. I have to believe that it is available. Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever. I am just feeling convicted, in a good way, to do this more diligently. I want to see this happen, but I have to want it more.
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God, I want your signs, wonders and healings to be a part of my life. Right now I feel like you are asking me the question - why? I want to see it more because you want to give it more. Help me to have no selfish motivation in seeing your power. I want it because you want to give it. Help me to more diligently pray for your power. I pray for your power tonight, now even. Be powerful at tribe, be powerful in the 35 minutes leading up to tribe. I want to see you grow your church. I ask you for signs, and wonders!

Why Worship?

Let me ask a quick question. Today I was listening to a CD of preachers sharing during the revivals of the past. One of the guys shared that he was so in love with God, and that God was so worthy to be worshipped that even if he had to go to hell he would spend his whole life on earth serving God. I realize that this is one of those silly questions, that is the opposite of reality, but I think it is valid to see what we think of God and our motives for loving him. I am thinking this through, but let me know what you think. If you had to go to hell, would you still worship God while on earth?

The Myth of Burnout

Exodus 18:14-23 - When Moses' father-in-law saw all that Moses was doing for the people, he said, "Why are you trying to do all this alone? The people have been standing here all day to get your help." Moses replied, "Well, the people come to me to seek God's guidance. When an argument arises, I am the one who settles the case. I inform the people of God's decisions and teach them his laws and instructions." "This is not good!" his father-in-law exclaimed. "You're going to wear yourself out – and the people, too. This job is too heavy a burden for you to handle all by yourself. Now let me give you a word of advice, and may God be with you. You should continue to be the people's representative before God, bringing him their questions to be decided. You should tell them God's decisions, teach them God's laws and instructions, and show them how to conduct their lives. But find some capable, honest men who fear God and hate bribes. Appoint them as judges over groups of one thousand, one hundred, fifty, and ten. These men can serve the people, resolving all the ordinary cases. Anything that is too important or too complicated can be brought to you. But they can take care of the smaller matters themselves. They will help you carry the load, making the task easier for you. If you follow this advice, and if God directs you to do so, then you will be able to endure the pressures, and all these people will go home in peace."
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Sorry I chose such a long passage, but the whole thing kept speaking to me. Today I read my friend gina’s blog (see my blog list to the right) and she got to talking a little bit about how she felt it important to guard her free time. I think that is so good for her, and she should stick to it.

Now let me say this: I think a lot of the time when people say something like this it is a crock. To state it plainly I do not believe in burn out, at least not in the sense that it is commonly used in the church in this day and age. I think burn out has become one of the most christianeese words I can think of, and to me it would be better translated, not being fed in my personal time with the Lord. When I look at my life, I have had times where I could relate to the feelings of burn out, but I notice that those times also coincide with dry times in my walk. So I would prefer if people gave me more info and rather than using the blanket statement – I’m burn out – I wish they would be honest and recognize that their problem is usually with their spiritual position. I have been there, and it sucks.

That being said, the reason why this verse stuck out to me was not because I am dealing with burn out. I am actually busier now that I have been at any time in my life, but I a feeling great. Since starting this blog my spiritual walk has enjoyed the consistency that I have rarely had before. That is all the more reason why this verse meant so much to me tonight.

Today I found out that starting next week I am going to be preaching at church three times a month on the second Saturday night service. I am so excited about this, mostly because I know that the Lord is growing me in this aspect, and I am excited to be used. On top of that we found out this week that we underpaid our taxes all year and owe a good sized chunk of change to uncle sam. To help cover that I am going to try to work an extra day a week for my father in law. I thought I was busy before. So as I got assigned all that preaching, I took on the task with what you might call a visual reluctance. I explained how I felt sure that I should do this, but at the same time, I had no extra time to offer. So what did I do? I took it on, Dan gave me this encouragement as I did so – this will force you to have to work through other people.

I took this statement to heart. Notice that I did not say “use” other people, it’s about working through other people. (I wish I could work through someone an extra day at the shop). But this verse really confirmed that in my life. Moses did it, and it worked great. I note that he was careful in his selection, and I need to be as well. I have all ready gotten one major chunk of my business delegated to a great servant, who has a true servants heart (see “journey to the character of god” blog to the right). I need to be praying about ways I can do this in other places of my ministry. I see exactly where Gina is coming from. I need to protect myself, but understand this – I am nowhere near burnt out!
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Lord, help me to work through other people. It is my desire to release people in ministry, and to free myself up to do more. Help me to kill those two birds with one stone. Show me those honest men who aren’t bribeable. Use me as I preach in the future. Continue to provide for my family. I trust you to do so, and to take care of us in this crunch time. Help me to serve you more whole heartedly. Bring revival. amen

Third Times a Charm

Well my friend mike decided last night that before he made a decision on how his life is going to play out that he should come up here and see what God is doing and pray about it some. He was blessed with the air miles to get up here, and got on a plane at 4 this morning. Since he has been here we have had a blast but the Lord has all ready used him to lead one guy to Christ, and reunite another with his family. He even spent a good chuck of the day with a guy from our church who was going through some serious stuff. We got to pray for him and he broke down crying. I know that I am a better minister of the gospel when he is around, so I am really hoping that the Lord keeps him here. And how can he not. Why would God use him to radically change 3 lives in one day and not be calling him to stick around here. So we are praying. I know I have asked you to pray about this before, but this time I am just going to pray what I want. I want to see big things happen here, so I am praying that God keeps him here…but not my will but his will be done. Please pray with me. For those of you who are part of tribe, he is going to share this Friday, and I am sure it will be good. That plus hearing all of your answers to the question…Why did god save me? I am looking forward to it.
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Lord speak to mike. As I write this he is praying a few feet away from me. Speak to him now. Speak to him tonight. I just pray that you would change this place and use me in the most effective way possible. I would like to see mike be a part of that. Thank you for all that you did today, and I pray for more encounters of the God kind. You are my Lord.

Leading the Blind

Exodus 13:17 - When Pharaoh finally let the people go, God did not lead them on the road that runs through Philistine territory, even though that was the shortest way from Egypt to the Promised Land. God said, "If the people are faced with a battle, they might change their minds and return to Egypt."
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This verse really shows me Gods heart for his children. God put them through so much, but being God he knew that they could handle it. But here he decides to not put them through anymore hardship and leads them the Long way to Palestine. The thing that makes me think about this verse is the fact that the Israelites were probably pissed about this. I can’t back this up but I bet a lot of them were second guessing the leadership, saying “what the heck, why are we going the long way. Its bad enough that I have known nothing but slavery, now I have to wander through this desert rather than going directly to our new homes.” But the truth is that God was taking care of them all along. His plan although it seemed bass ackwards, was actually the right one. I do that in my life all the time. I might second guess why the lord would say I should do things his way, rather than the clear way. I just have to know that he always has me in mind, just like the Israelites in this story. Tithing is a great example of this. I don’t like to tithe, and believe me, on paper it makes no sense at all. Why would I want to give away a tenth of all I make. That could be used very easily. But in God’s economy it makes perfect sense. I just need to be willing to trust him. Even when it makes no sense to me.
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Lord, help me to blindly follow you. I never want to be afraid to ask you questions, but when you choose not to answer them, or just to give me info on a need to know basis, help me to trust you blindly. Help me to believe in you so completely, that trusting you is easy. I am not there yet. Please help me to get there.

Back to the Ancient Future

Let me bring you up to speed. There is this new philosophy that is kind of postmoderny that is being referred to as “ancient future”. You see it a lot in worship circles and it translates a lot into theology on ones personal walk. My understanding of the basic premise of the idea is that people today are hungry for the foundation that the church was built upon. They love our new methods, but need the stability of a religion that has been around of a couple thousand years. In ancient future circles you will see more hymns in worship. You may catch people studying the writings of the ancient theologians such as Brother Lawrence, or even as far back as Augustine. I have been putting a lot of time and thought into this movement, and I am not sure exactly where I fall in regards to it. Let me be clear – I have no problem if it works for you, I am just not sure that I buy into it. Here are a few reasons why:

1. It has never worked for me. I can honestly say that I have never had an intimate worship time to a hymn. I am not saying that it cannot happen, I would not put God into a box that way. It could happen, I just find hymns to be to wordy and archaic in language. When compared to the worship songs of today, they require too much theology to understand how one ought to worship. I feel like I spend my whole time interpreting the meaning, and not giving the Lord his due glory. The books of old have yet to work for me as well. Maybe I am just a little dense but I feel like it takes too much thought to comprehend their meaning. I am a plain meaning kind of a guy.

2. The church of old had major problems. The church today is by no means pure, not even in comparison. My thought though is that there is a reason that the church is the way it looks today. It is because the practices of old were replaced by more effective ones. A little bit of the past is ok in our services, but we must remember things like hymns evolved into what we know today because the newer songs were more effective. We did not become what we are today by accident.

3. The most important reason for having a hard time with the ancient future movement is that it lacks something. That thing namely is the power of the Holy Spirit. Tragically the Holy Spirit and it’s miraculous power were not the mainstream in church for thousands of years. It was clearly present in the early church, which we can see in scripture, but it somehow tapered off. This is not to say that believers did not have the Holy Spirit living within them. I am just explaining that his manifest presence is conspicuously missing for almost 18 centuries. The Holy Spirit was there, it was just rarely given a place in worship, or in groups of believers all together. These ancient future principle do not take into account the fact that Jesus himself said that we would do even greater things than he did. Not until the Pentecostal revival of the early 1900s did we find our way again. I for one refuse to let this power fade. The teachers of old, along with the songs of old, have little if any space for the most powerful tool of all for ministry – the Holy Spirit.

I think this ancient future church has to go into Jimmy’s picture from his site. It crosses out the phrases – be the emerging church, be the post modern church, be the gen x church. Finally it says in bold print – be the church. That is what this is all about. Lets quit with the idea that people on the outside might like us more if they could only hear ancient future worship. Lets cross that one out and just be the church. None of our ideas are working so hot. Lets just be who we are, and when I speak for myself I can tell you that I am man after god, and empowered by the holy spirit.

As Flexible as a Contortionist

Luke 24:33 – “And within the hour they were back on their way to Jerusalem, where the eleven disciples and the other followers of Jesus were gathered.”
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Today was one of those days where I had about 5 verses jump out at me, and I could have written about any one of them. This one stood out to me and at first glance, you have to wonder why. Jesus had just appeared to these two men on the road to Emmaus. Just before this verse it says that they begged to Jesus to stay with them in Emmaus, so obviously planning to stay. It also says that this was about a 7 mile trip. Of course they didn’t realize it was Jesus until it was too late. What I see here is God stepping into the lives of these guys and then they drop everything, all their plans and all their desires to do what they knew they were called to do. A seven mile journey is like a four hour trip each way. I have had a lot of encounters with the Lord in my life, but I have never felt so motivated to share them that I would venture into an 8 hour round trip, just to tell others. These guys were so radically changed by their brief encounter that they gave up all their plans and put the Lord’s first. That speaks to me. I want to have that kind of devotion.
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Lord I talk a lot about putting you first, but rarely do I mean it. It’s not that I am lying, it is just that I am not quite willing enough to lay down my own life. I want your help to get to that place. I pray that you would make me perfectly flexible when it comes to your will because there is nothing more important than that in my life. Holy Spirit I give you permission to use me even when I find it inconvenient. I just want to be used. Thank you for your word.

Seeker Insensitivity

Exodus 8:26 – “The Egyptians would detest the sacrifices that we offer to the Lord our God. If we offer them here where they can see us, they will be sure to stone us.”
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I have no problem with seeker sensitivity. I just don’t think it belongs in our churches. This verse may not be a great example but it made me think about the whole issue. The Israelites were so sure of the kind of worship that they had to bring the Lord that they made no attempt to be appealing to those around them. In fact they were so sure that there practices were going to be offensive to those who did not understand that they wanted to travel for days to be able to do what they were called to do. Now I understand that they didn’t come from an inclusive point of view but this verse just got me thinking. If we were to worship the Lord the way we are encouraged to in scripture, we would be pretty freaky to the unbelievers. Take a look at the book of acts. Not very seeker sensitive. I came to realize today that I can’t think of one instance where a non believer ever shows up at any kind of service in scripture. Paul alludes to it in 1 Corinthians in his teaching on tongues, but outside I cannot recall a successful conversion in scripture that was done in a church meeting.
I don’t want to just start an argument with this so I feel that my application to this is in my own life. I need to worship hard when I am alone and in Tribe. I need to do all those embarrassing things that could get me stoned in those times to start. I need to be more seeker sensitive in my daily life. I can do this by not using Christianeese, being more tolerant of those who have different lifestyle choices from me such as the Gay community, or the New Age community. By this I do not mean agreeing or even condoning sinful behavior. I need to be more loving, and willing to befriend people who have a different persuasion than my own. This is where seeker sensitivity will flourish. We have this definition that seekers are only seekers at 10 am on Sundays, but the truth is that the entire unchurched community is seeking answers and they are doing this as they live out their lives, every minute of everyday. I need to be more sensitive to that.
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Lord, Help me to worship you better. Help me to have the courage to worship you in a way that might even make me look silly. Let me personally be more seeker sensitive. Fill the individuals of tribe with seeker sensitivity in their own lives. I pray that you would use that to grow tribe, yet we would be able to keep focused on the real reason for our existence. We exist to worship you in whatever ways you desire. As we lift you up, make good on your promise and draw all men to yourself.

I Made It

JUst wanted to post and say thanks to everyone who prayed for my previous post. I made it. It was one of those funerals where no one feels comfortable. Aparently nobody but her children really liked this woman, but her children seemed to really care about her. And I got to share the gospel with them. That was awesome. I led the whole church in a sinners prayer, and I am sure that most of them were not believers. Some of them looked at me funny, others affirmed me in what I said. I just did what I felt called to do. There were some people there who appeared to have lived a lot of life if you know what I mean. One guy wore a g-unit tshirt to his moms memorial. He was missing some theeth and looked a little strung out. Those are the people who jesus spent time with, and preached to. It was an honor to do that.
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Lord I pray for those who were at the funeral today. I am not sure if any of them made decisions for you, but for those that haven't, I pray that my words and this ladys death would stick with them and direct them to you. Thank you for this chance, and choosing me. I pray that you would use me and this moment to turn around that entire family for you. In jesus name - amen

Everybody Hates Funerals

About a week ago I got my first call to do a funeral. I said yes. Since then I have been living in this general fear of tomarrow, at 2pm. I don’t know anyone who is going to be there, nor the deceased, but I am a little scared. I have to admit that I am feeling better than I ever have about it, thanks to those who have been prayng for me, but let me tell you what I am really afraid of. I not so afraid that I have to speak infront of people, or that I might mess up my words. More than anything I am afraid that they will take one look at me, and say…this is the pastor??? For those of you who know me let me put you in on a little secret. Most of whatever confidence I seem to have is an act. I am actually quite insecure. And this time it is not even so much about me. This is someones mother for crying out loud. They don’t want some kid putting the period on her life. So for a while I thought about buying a clerical shirt with those straight collars. My wife and all of my tribe thought that was a pretty dumb idea. So tomorrow at 2 I am just going to go out there and face it. I have been praying all week for courage and the Lord has been filling me with that, a little more each day, but if you can remember, say a prayer for me when you finish reading this. Also pray that I am able to bring the gospel effectively to a primarily unchurched crowd. Maybe I should pray all this stuff too.
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Lord I pray that you would help me to remember that no one should look down on me because of my age. Fill me continually with the sober reality of the honor it is to be part of this service. Help me to glorify you in this service. Use me to change peoples hearts for you. Let this be a healing time for the family. Help them to enjoy the service. Be with me, I need your holy spirit. amen

Save Now Spend Later

Genesis 50:20 – “As far as I am concerned, God turned into good what you meant for evil. He brought me to the high position I have today so I could save the lives of many people.”
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I have never realized it before but Joseph and I have the same story. I don’t mean that I have a fruity coat, or that I was sold into egyptian slavery, but we have a lot of life in common. From this quote I see it. I always relate myself to other people in scripture like Moses or Paul, but I have never had this relationship with Joseph. Up until a few years ago I thought I had no testimony. I just remembered going to church as a kid and that was about the beginning, but the real beginning goes back several years before that. It actually starts with my parents. My parents made a career choice before I was born to be what I like to call “illegal horticulturalists”. That is what I was born into. I look around today and I take a look at all of my childhood playmates, and realize that quite a few of them are dead, and the rest are living pretty painful lives. Granted I have had some times of pain in my life which I will save for another entry, but I have been blessed by the Lord. What the enemy of my soul ment for evil God used for good. Kids born into my situation, don’t often have much of a shot in life. I know I often write kids like that off. There is one young boy in our churchwho I have done this too. I got to tell you that I have had the thought before that this kid doesn’t have a chance in the world. He is only a few years old, but just looking at his situation, there doesn’t seem to be much hope. But I of all people sould have hope for him, because the Lord has made an example out of me. I count myself blessed by God to have the oppertunities that I have today. As for the second part of the verse I am trusting the Lord to make good on that side of the coin. I have to believe that God brought me out of the life I was born into for a reason. I have to believe that he wants to save a lot of people through me, and that’s the point of this whole thing. We kind of have an agreement, me and God. Because he brought me out of the pit I could have been in, I will always live my life for him. It’s a good deal on my end. But I want so desparately to be used by God to save many people. Let me state that more plainly. I exist to be used by God to save many people. I have no problems with that, it is my purpose. I am thankful for reading this passage toinght. I feel like the Lord may be planting a new life verse in me. He is who he is, and I want every bit of him.
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Lord help me to not write anyone off because of their present circumstances. You have brought me from so much, help me to believe that you can and will do the same for others. Help me to take part in these two things that Joseph talks about here. Help me to take joy in where I have come from. Use those experiences, to change the world through me. I need you to be mine, I will be yours. Please use me.

New Side Bar

Check out all the new stuff on my side bar. It took me a long time to figure out how to do that. Let me say in the words of Jackass's Steve-o "Yeah dude, I rock." (picture me smiling with both thumbs up in front of my face.)

Worshiping Rocks!

Luke 19:40 – “ If they kept quiet, the stones along the side of the road would burst into cheers!”
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Would they have? That would have been something to see. I am almost surprised that the Pharisees didn’t call him on this, and make him prove it. My question from this is what about today. God receives no where near the praise he deserves, yet the stones remain completely silent. What this passage gets me thinking about is the amount of praise that the Lord deserves, and how these people were so enthralled by his presence that they did what came most naturally to them. They praised. Praising the Lord seems to have evolved in my life from this natural response to a forced practice. It is all my fault, but I look at the way I bring him worship and I see that it is always is something now that I have to think about really hard, and make a conscience decision to do. If I am being completely honest, sometimes I find myself needing to drum up emotion in order to feel like I am praising him. Here’s another question. Can you be made to worship? It has always been a pet peeve of mine to be at some kind of a Christian service and to have a worship leader give instructions on my worship posture. It felt to me like it lost its meaning when I was forced to raise my hands during worship. Can we worship outside of a natural response? Can we worship when we don’t feel like it. That’s enough questions for one post. These are just some of the things that have been going through my head.
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Lord, I don’t want you to have to use rocks or anything else to receive you due worship. I want to be a worshiper. I ask you to change my heart in places where I have a difficulty worshipping you. Be the object of my affection, and let my natural response be to bring you the worship you are due.

A New Kind of Heretic

Disclaimer: I gave my life over to jesus at a stadium event called Harvest Crusade. Those events and others like it have played a significant role in building the church. I would venture to guess that the church would appear very different today if it weren’t for these minstries. Again I am a product of one of these ministries and this post is in no way to take away from the work they have done.

I try not to fill this journal wor my quiet times in general with theology, and debate, but I feel that it is healthy once in a while. So this weekend at church we were talking about the cost of being a disciple, as seen in luke 14. This topic has been burning a hole in me since I got started thinking about it, and I have been waiting till I had a chunck of time to sit down and write/process this idea in this blog. The question arose: Can you be a saved and not be a disciple? Simple enough. Modern-day evangelicals will almost all give you a simple response…yes, you can. That was the conclusion that we came to in our services this Sunday. There was more to it than just that, but the answer was that if you really wanted to, you could probablly get away with that. You could accept Jesus and then live your whole life just as you were before. I, on the other hand, am not exactly sure if I agree with this conclusion (I say this for the sake of argument, and literary suspense because as you probablly have guessed I am on the other side of the coin). This is not to say that I am against the idea of salvation by grace, because I for one am for it. Here is how I see it. To answer this question we must first answer another – What must I do to be saved? Do we have it right? Does it really only take us asking Jesus to come into our heart and forgive our sins to be saved or is it more complicated than that? I think it is slightly more complicated than that. I base this on Romans 10:9 – If you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord”…you shal be saved. There it is layed out nice and in a row. But it is my thought that we miss some of that in modern day evangelical circles. I call the part that we are missing the “Lordship intent.” Basically this means that if you confess this and ask Jesus into your heart without an intent to make him your lord, you just lied in your confession and it is therefore invalid. To truly comprehend Pauls idea of salvation here, we must understand the principle of Lordship in our lives. Simply put Lordship is giving your lord the priority in your life. Making him number 1. Giving him preference over yourself and others. That is what Lordship. Lets put it all together. I believe Pauls salvation message, as seen in Romans 10 to be something more like this – “If you confess with your mouth honestly ‘I want Jesus to be my number one priority from now on.’ …You shal be saved”. This is the cost of being a disciple, and the truth is that it took me six years of wasted life to actually figure that out. I spent six years just living with my get out of hell free card, even though I may not have really had one. So to answer the question posed this weekend, can you be saved and not be a disciple? – It is difficult but yes. A better question might be: Can you become saved with no intent to ever be a disciple? My thought is that you can’t.
Of course that is for the Lord to figure out, it is not my place to judge other peoples eternal destination. But what this thought does for me is it changes the way I approach my ministry. I think the church has been done a disservice by allowing this idea of a completely free gift of salvation to form our modern viewpoint. Again I am sure that salvation cannot be earned through works, but at the same time, salvation is not free. Not by a long shot. It’s a good deal, but boy is it expensive. The disservice that we have done to the church is that we have robbed it of the exponential evangelism system that God intended it to have. You see when we preach a gospel that doesn’t require the Lordship of Jesus, we lose out on every bit of kingdom building that the hearer had in their potential. Granted there are exceptions to the rule, but when I look at the american church, I see very few exceptions as compared to the rest. The vast majority of americans consider them selves to be christians, but we always see ourselves as being around 15 percent of the population. It seems logical that this is the gap can be attributed to those who were given a gospel that required nothing of them, and that is exactly what they gave. It was lipservice.
If we look at JC’s example with the rich young ruler, we see that even he was quick to share the enormous cost of being a disciple, and I am not a fool to thnk that as many people would come to the Lord when the Gospel is presented in this way. Many will walk away sad in the same way the rich youn ruler did. But we can trust in the numbers of workers growing for oour harvest. To me this is a much better position to be in. More people with God in control, rather than an even greater number of people with a supposed get out of hell free card.
Let me clue you in on my life mission statement. I live to improve and increase the worship of God. I want to do this in the most efficient way I know how. I hope you will join me, even though it is expensive.

Great Expectations

Psalm 5:3 – “Listen to my voice in the morning, Lord. Each morning I bring my requests to you and wait expectantly.”
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I guess this morning the Lord is teaching me about expectations. I had this realization a couple of months ago. It was in the context of going to our church services expecting God to move, and encouraging others to go in with the same attitude. Then the other day I was praying for a friend of mine and encouraged him to expect God to answer this prayer. Now today it appears that this is speaking to my expectation on an on going, daily basis. David says he does this each morning. If I had to rate my current expectation of God to answer each prayer I pray, I would give myself about a 4 out of 10. But to me it goes beyond just prayer. Do I expect him to be with me and teaching me and using me all day? Not as much as I should. The truth is if we ask for something but don’t really expect for it to happen, did we truly ask for it? I know that the Lord is working on me to expect him, and be ready for him to move all the time, and that is where I want to be.
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Lord, I expect you to use me today. I expect you to teach me today. I expect you to answer the prayers I have been praying. Be close to me. Help me to live in the expectation that you will do anything that I ask. Fill me with faith that build my expectations that you will do what you say you will do. Use me today, I expect you to.

The Crowd Favorite

Genesis 39:3-4a – “Potiphar noticed this and realized that the Lord was with Joseph, giving him success in everything he did. So Joseph naturally became quite a favorite with him.”
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You know what I learn from this verse? I see this verse teaching a clear principle. If the Lord is with us, people who don’t know the lord will “naturally” favor us. This makes no earthly sense but this is the pattern that Joseph experienced, and I believe that God could make that true to this day. I felt inspired to write on this verse in light of a comment I received in an earlier post, and to sort of follow up on my last journal entry. I shared in my last entry about my conviction about not being as attractive to non Christians as I should be, at least not even remotely close to where Jesus was. After sharing that as best as I could I received this comment:

being non-christian & being a "sinner" are not synonymousperhaps you could consider that what might be driving people away is your small-minded judgemental attitude towards them

Let me say this and say it with complete sincerity, I appreciate this comment. I disagree with the the premise and the suggestion, but I appreciate the outside view point. What good is any of this with out the view points of people outside of my set of beliefs. But in all honesty, I feel that I am as non judgemental as I can be. So taking that comment into account and this scripture I think I have the answer. I need to not care som much about what the sinner/non believer think of me and focus squarely on what the Lord thinks of me, while at the same time being completely real and honest. If my main focus is squarely on him then, he will bless my life, allow me to be a blessing to others and in turn I will find favor in their eyes. It worked for joseph, why not for me. This is not to excuse myself from a personal call to make relationships with all people, christian or not. So in light of that I am going to write my intentions so that I wil be forced to followthrough with them because of the accountability that this blog demands. I want to build a friendship with a guy named Joe who works with me for my father in law. He is a really nice guy, who looks like he could use some friends. He lives about an hour away, but I think its worth it. No it is worth it. Be praying for that and hold me accountable.
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Lord, help me to focus more on you because I know that your word says this is when I will find favor in the eyesof the world. My sole deire is to please you but I believe you are pleased when I am in relationship with those not like me, just as Jesus was. Let me have your favor first and then the favoe of the world. I pray that you help me to build a rlatinship with joe, and that he would come to our mens breakfast. Help me to show him to your love, use me to love him. I love you lord.

Baby Costello

baby costello

The Notorious JC

Luke 15:1 – Tax collectors and other notorious sinners often came to listen to Jesus teach.
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Here is one of my weaknesses. I look at my own life and I don’t see this happening. I have never been attractive to the non believer the way that Jesus was. I have friends who are, people just feel right at home with them, but I don’t know what it is about me. Now I know all the rules, and I don’t find myself to be very judgmental, but I can’t seem to attract those who don’t know the Lord. My friends have been Christians for about six years now. I can’t believe that as I write it, but I haven’t had a close non Christian friend in at least five years. So what was it about Jesus that made the sinners come running? What am I missing from the equation? Jesus spent some time a lot of time with sinners, but even when I am in that place, I feel that people steer clear. Maybe that is just my insecurity. I worked for a year and a half at a restaurant recently, and I never once went out to do something with anybody from work. I guess I am just a chicken. I was invited to a few parties, but never had the balls to go. I think the main reason for that is that, is that I feel uncomfortable there. I feel like I have nothing to talk about. I feel like I can’t relate. I do relate, but not in the perfect way I would want to. But I know the bottom line is to just have some guts and hang out with the non Christians. I am not very good at making friends anymore in general which makes the task even harder. But I feel that this is very important. To be more like Christ, I need to hang out with sinners more. That’s simple.
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Lord let this not just be lip service to you. Help me to follow through with what you say in your word. I want notorious sinners to often come to hear me speak, or just so much as enjoy my presence. I know you are calling me to befriend the lost. I pray you would start with Joe from work. Help me to reach him for you. Forget about that, I know you will take care of that, just help me to really befriend him. God I love you , help me to love the lost the way you do.

Rather Learn than Teach

Luke 14:33 - so no one can become my disciple without giving up everything for me
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Here is what's been going on. Last night I was at our church prayer meeting and I distinctly felt that the Lord was saying something to me. I felt a conviction that in my life I had made a move from a learner to a teacher. In my walk it seemed that I was always concerned with growing other people and how to be more effective in ministry, and I let that replace a heartfelt hunger for God to change me personally and to burn passionately for him myself. I want to fix that so my goal is to apply this verse to my current situation, and see pray that God helps me to give that away.
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Lord, I give it all to you. I give you my ministry and I never want it to take precedence to what you are doing in my life. I want you for you and I know you want me for me. Be my Lord! Be my Lord! Let nothing get infront of you. I would painfully give up everything for you. Help me to fall in love with you more, and focus on me and you. I love you Jesus.

Pray with Me

I don't very often place community prayers on the tribe log, but I have one that I would like you to pray for. So if you are reading this, Christian or not, please take a minute after reading this and pray.
One of the people I love more than anyone in this world is praying about moving from ventura CA up here to Santa Rosa, to partner with me in ministry and eventually be a part of a church plant. We both feel that the Lord wants to use us together in ministry at some point, we are just praying about when that will be. He is at a crossroads in his life and needs to decide where God is calling him. Pray with me that he would make the right decision, and that he would hear the Lord in making it. His name is Mike Brock.

Please pray with me and as you pray if the Lord gives you a word or a scripture, feel free to post it as a comment and I will read it and make sure it gets to him. Thanks a lot

Mustard and Yeast

Luke 13:18-21 - “Then Jesus said, "What is the Kingdom of God like? How can I illustrate it? It is like a tiny mustard seed planted in a garden; it grows and becomes a tree, and the birds come and find shelter among its branches." He also asked, "What else is the Kingdom of God like? It is like yeast used by a woman making bread. Even though she used a large amount of flour, the yeast permeated every part of the dough." Jesus went through the towns and villages, teaching as he went, always pressing on toward Jerusalem.”
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Does anyone really know what Jesus point is with these illustrations? I am not sure exactly what he is getting at but that is not going to stop me from trying to apply it to my life. I would say all in all I am a pretty good interpreter of scripture. I am usually careful to take the biblical meaning and not take scriptures out of their original context. My readers have permission to hold me accountable to this. But honestly, I would love to hear your understanding of this passage. Here's what I can say about the text. 1) The Kingdom of God is designed to grow. 2) It spreads rapidly. 3) As it grows more are included. That gets me thinking about me and my calling. I get to wondering which part of these three aspects I need to focus on the most. I feel particularly called to the rapid spreading of the kingdom of God. About a week ago I decided to change my email signature. I took out my current job title and changed it with my personal job title. It reads “revival seeker/enthusiast.” This is my desire. I am currently reading a book by Ralph Moore called “Friends”. It is supposed to be a handbook for reaching Gen X, but it has turned out so far to be a how to start a revival hand book. I love that. I feel called to spend my entire life dedicated to seeing a revival take place in my generation. In biblical terms I want to see the Kingdom of God do what it was designed to do. I want to see the mustard seed that the Lord has planted in my heart grow into a tree where birds can find refuge. I want to see myself and my likeminded contemporaries as yeast who are doing everything they can to permeate this culture. This is my dream. I make no bones about it. (My dad always used that expression and I have no idea what it means. I want to be a key player in a coming revival, and I want God to use me to do just that.
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Lord that is how I pray. Use me. I beg you to use me. I ask you to come and make true on your illustrations of the kingdom of god in this generation. Let me be a part of what you are doing. Let this passion never leave my heart. I want it and it is all for you. In places where it is not for you, convict me and I will do my best to make them yours. Revive me continually. Revive my church, revive my town, and revive my nation.

Jesus Causes Division

Well I am not sure if it is Christian to say this but I wasn’t particularly inspired by anything that I read today. One thing that did stand out to me however was the title of the last section of Luke 12. In the NLT translation they title this section “Jesus Causes Division”. That’s a quote you won’t read or hear very often. We spend so much time being incredibly careful to not cause division, yet Jesus was the one separating families, and causing unrest. One of my favorite stories in all of scripture is when Jesus tipped over the tables in the temple. That caused division, but it was a sort of Holy Division, a Holy Anger. I have always wondered how he got away with that. How did he do something like that in remain sinless? Let me state clearly that I am not questioning Jesus sinlessness, but just how we label that event. I have often wondered if there would be a circumstance where I could go to a mega church and tip over all their shelves in their book store and have that not be considered a sin? Believe me I have had that thought before. One look at the prayer of jabez door mat and my heart starts burning. I don’t want to get carried away but let me say this: Jesus has been at the center of more division than any person in the history of humankind. I guess that the thought that this all wraps up into is that maybe sin isn’t quite as black and white as we evangelicals make it out to be. It is painfully rare but maybe there is a right time to leave your family and follow God. Maybe there is a right time to destroy private property. Maybe a righteous understanding of the Lord and his laws could lead to breaking the “laws of the land”. I realize I need to be careful with this kind of speech, and to anyone who is reading this, do not take this as a license to break laws, I am just processing my thoughts on paper (e-paper that is). Here is another thought that I have had. You may think that I am totally crazy to say this, and maybe I am, but I respect the convictions of those people who have killed abortion doctors. Now before you pick up your stones to kill me think this through. If you truly believed a fetus to be a living human being, isn’t this the right thing to do? I went to the museum of tolerance in LA a few years ago. Contrary to its name the place is ninety percent about the holocaust. I found a huge contradiction in their principle of tolerance there. One of their saying was that all that needed to happen to spawn another holocaust was for good people to do nothing. With that logic and a fundamental belief that an abortion is murder, how can we not act? I distinctly remember our tour guide walking us through the hall of intolerance. There was one section on the killing of abortion doctors, simply because I was intolerant of their belief in the right to choose. Do you see the contradiction I am left with? Luckily for the abortion doctors, I am not particularly passionate about the issue because I am intellectually hones and admit that I am not sure at what point human life begins. Please know that I would never so much as consider killing anyone, because I believe so wholeheartedly that there can be redemption for all and I don’t want to steal that from anybody. This title and the passage it refers to just got me thinking. I think you should comment on this, let me know where I go wrong, and why. I hope this sparks a bit of a discussion. I think the church needs a discussion on this, not just the abortion issue, but how we relate to the laws of the land in general. So please comment. Let the criticism flow.

flood lights

January 11, 2005
Luke 11:36 – “If you are filled with the light, with no dark corners, then your whole life will be radiant, as though a flood light is shining on you.”
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I am not sure that I am interpreting this exactly right, and I know that I should take the time to be sure to do so, but I believe this principle to be true from other parts of scripture, and I know that this is a word from the Lord for my life today. My previous post, and what I have been going through lately is my struggle to be open. I am generally a pretty open person. Ask me anything and I will tell you what you want to know, but I know that there are certain areas of my life where I can see that I should be more forth coming with my story. I am not even referring to anything in particular, so don’t think that I have this big story to get off my chest. Basically what I am trying to say is that this needs to become a lifestyle change for me. I want for the rest of my life be an example in honesty, transparency, and openness. I want no dark corners in my well lit heart. This verse gives me strength to live like this, as well as a mandate. This may sound a little conceded or something, but in the spirit of openness let me say this: I want to live a radiant life and have flood lights shining on me. I want this not for me, but for the kingdom. I want these lights on me just so that I can be a greater witness to the Lord. I believe that is a huge part of my calling, and in that my life, every bit of it, has to be prepared to be seen. I am in the middle of those preparations, and always will be, but I think that people now value a behind the scenes look at a man on a spiritual journey, more than a perfect picture of what a man should be. I am open to that, and all the humiliation and joy it will bring.
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Lord, help me to live more like you in public and in secret. I believe your plan for my life is to have less and less of a secret life everyday. Help me to become a better follower of you. When the light shines bright on me, help me to look like you, and in ways that I don’t help me to openly strive for that. Turn on the flood lights, and use me.

Cold Burritos

Luke 10:21 “Then Jesus was filled with the joy of the Holy Spirit and said, "O Father, Lord of heaven and earth, thank you for hiding the truth from those who think themselves so wise and clever, and for revealing it to the childlike. Yes, Father, it pleased you to do it this way.”
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There was this girl who was sort of part of my gang of friends when I was in high school. We called her “the cotch” because her last name was a longer version of that and was hard to say, nothing mean or anything, I would never do that. Anyway she went away to college in Missouri, and one summer she came back and was hanging out at our college group, which was great. I distinctly remember one night, and this was several years ago now, where we all went to taco bell next door after college group. There were about 5 of us there, maybe six. At the time I was slightly more pious than I am today, and found it vitally important to say prayers with all in attendance at every meal I ate. Well we all sat down and just when we did, the cotch began this monologue about here misadventures on diving team at here college. She gave us the rundown on every meet and even more painfully, on every team member. She cited each one by name, not seeming to have the faintest idea that we had no relationship nor interest in any of these people. Well she went on and on, all the while the rest of us were cautiously looking around and smiling as we waited to say our pre meal prayer. Normally I would be bold enough to interrupt and call people to prayer, but not this time. I could not get a word in. Everybody knew exactly what was going on, and I hate to say it but the cotch sort of had a reputation for this. She was one of those people who is the hardest for me to stand to be around. I don’t necessarily mind those who are longwinded. One of my dearest friends in the world can be quite long winded, but it’s just different, and I think that the difference is this verse. My dear friend you see, makes no attempt to be something that he is not. He will come right out with it and admit what a bonehead he is, and what he struggles with, and that’s what I love about him. But the cotch was different. She had the more common for of this over talking disease. It went along with another symptom that insisted that the talker had all the answers, or had a mandate to talk because they knew more or were that incredibly interesting. I think the Lord was teaching me a lesson that night as I ate a couple of cold bean burritos. The sure fire way to cure yourself of that problem that the cotch had, doesn’t have to be to just shut up. This isn’t an abstinence only program. I learned that people want to hear your stories if they can relate. And the fact is that people relate better to mistakes, lessons, and failures better than anything. That kind of vulnerability is so appealing, especially to this generation. I think that is one of the core differences the church will need to capitalize on as we reach this new generation. The old model of bragging about our successes, falls short in attention grabbing compared to sharing the ups and downs of ones life. I need the ability to be even better at that than I am now. That is what being childlike is all about.
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Lord help me to be more vulnerable, and more open with my peers. Give me a heart to bear with those who aren’t open. Help me to encourage them to become more so. I pray that you would use my openness mightily, because you know it is not fun, but I do it for you. Help me to be more childlike.

The Submerging Church

Maybe that could be a title for my first book. This post is mostly to let my reders know that I have been thinking about removing, and finally have removed the word emerging from my description. I have been planning on doing it for a while, but an article I read put me over the top. You can find it here (http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2004/011/12.36.html). S it's gone, and let me try to explain why. I love the ideas that go along with the emerging church. I completly agree that the americain church is poised for something, and that it is going to take a "new kind of Christian" to get that ball rolling. Talking about the emerging church makes me salivate. I love the idea of taking the world by storm, one person at a time. I love the idea of being on my own spiritual journey, and don't need to be told what kind of spiritual journey I need to have. There is so much that I love about these ideas, but I just can't buy in.
One thing I remember well from a church planting class I took was this idea: Do not base your churches strategy on what not to do. I am not saying that we are not to be very critical of the current church, because Lord knows I am, but I just don't know If I am ready to buy into a answerless idea. All the emergent church seems to have is criticism. I have so much that i want to do and feel called to do, I cant dwell on what I am not going to do. On top of that, I don't feel that I fit in with the post-modern movement. I am a 24 year old, hawaiian shirt wearing, sports enjoying, slightly overweight man. Nothing screams dorky evangelical more than that. What does the emergent church do for those who don't wear tight black clothing, nor have a knack for acrylic painting. And the trouble is that I feel like I am in the majority. Last I checked football is still as popular as it ever was, and althogh its popular most of us in my age group still don't have tatoo sleeves and guaged ears. What does postmodernity say to us? I love all those things, and some of my best friends are those who I am describing myself as not being. There is a place for those people in the church, but do they really need their own. I think that only hurts the church as a whole.
As I type this I get to thinking, maybe we are entering a new era as the church. No we surely are entering a new era as a church. And with it I know that we will see great things. I just don't want to go the way we have gone in our past. I don't want to create another divide like the one we see between today between the consrvative and charimatic churches. That started durng the pentacostal revival which was an amazing time in the church. What 75 years from now we will look back at this time period as the time of the cultural revival. I would love to see this revival run a little differrently. I don't want to separate myself from evangelical tradition. Postmodernity places a huge value on tradition as long as it is at least 100 years old. We need to esteem the same value on every era of our history. In each one we got a few things right and many things wrong, but lets not re invent the wheel this time. Lets just come to the understanding that we are creating the history of christianity as we speak. If we look back at all the movements of yore, we have a great history, but how much better would it built rather than rebuilt? So tonight I coin the term submerging church (although I am deeply hurt that my originality has long been usurped. I dicovered this via a google search). I am not sure where this church will take us, but it is just an idea. I am out of steam. it's 1:15 am, my wife has been in bed for a couple of hours. I got to stop, but expect to hear more from me on this topic. Please don't take this as a downer for all you emergents out there. I love these principles and everything you stand for. I apoligize to anyone reading this, as you can tell it is very raw. just me thinking late at night, but your comments on this, if it made any sense at all, are very welcome. good night.

Garden State

Let me say to anyone who reads this blog, that I saw the best movie that I have seen in a while tonight. Garden State completly hit home with me. The whole point of the movie was about being real, and honest and exactly who you are, as ugly as that is. This is when you are at your best. Just felt a need to encourage anyone and everyone to see this movie. It really hit home for me.

A New Member to the Blog Fam

Here's another friend I want you to check out and watch her grow. She is a great writer and has some great insights from the word. She is also part of my trbe so send her some tribe love.

http://ginaboyett.blogspot.com

Looking Back

Luke 9:62 – “Anyone who puts his hand to the plow ant hen looks back is not fit for the kingdom of God.”
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I spend a lot of time looking back. Jesus was serious about this too. All the guy wanted to do was go and say goodbye to his mom. Maybe this is another example of literal hyperbole. He actually told the guy to do this but I see in the word over and over again that God does not want us to leave everything behind, including our family. But the looking back thing remains the same. I spend too much time looking back, even fanaticizing about a life free from the call God has on my life. The money that could be made, the house that could be bought, the sports that could be watched, the porn I could watch, all those things, as small as they seem add up to something that is pretty tempting but I know at the same time it is completely empty. I know in both my heart and my mind that life is better like this and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
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Lord, keep me from looking back. Continue to keep me from the temptations that I face and help me to constantly remember that life is better by your rules and with your call on it. I want to you know that I would not trade it for anything. You are so good to me, and I would choose to be your slave over being a free man.

Rivals Schmivals

Genesis 22:2-3 - "Take your son, your only son – yes, Isaac, whom you love so much – and go to the land of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains, which I will point out to you." The next morning Abraham got up early. He saddled his donkey and took two of his servants with him, along with his son Isaac. Then he chopped wood to build a fire for a burnt offering and set out for the place where God had told him to go.”
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No debate? No questioning the Lord? No questioning your hearing? How can this be. I tell you right now I would be questioning the Lord if he said this to me. I don’t have a son but the person I love most in this world is my wife. If I heard the Lord call me to sacrifice her I have no clue how I would respond? I can guarantee that I would put up more than a fight than this guy did.
The real meaning behind this story is (at least I hope it is) that I need to be willing to lay down anything if the Lord calls me to. I need to be willing to say I will never spend one more moment of my life with __________ (insert precious pastime or person here). Of course the Lord would never call me to give up a few of those things most precious to me, but there are others he could. If you read my profile you’ll find out that videogames are one of my hobbies. That may be an understatement. I tend to become obsessed with them. I need to be willing to sacrifice my Xbox as a burnt offering to the Lord. I really love the sport of baseball, but I need to be willing to never check another score or watch another game for the Lord. But I know him well enough to know that he does not taking joy in stealing the things I love in my life. He just wants what is due to him, first place in my life, and I know that sometimes he takes away his rivals. It seems dirty by our rules, but then again he made up the rules.
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Lord, let nothing rival you in my life. Be my first desire. When things get in front of you I give you permission to remove them or to ask me to remove them. You are the most important part of my life. Help me to keep it that way. I love you.

Love Bate

Luke 7:47 – “I tell you, her sins - and they are many – have been forgiven, so she has shown me much love.”
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I so easily forget this as being one of the primary reasons that I need to show the Lord my love. I so often get caught up in the experience and equating that with loving the Lord, but the truth is that this lady had an experience with the Lord like none other and it was based on the realization of how much she had been forgiven. I am always trying to conjure up feelings of Love for the Lord but recalling this, my forgiveness 13 years ago and the forgiveness that happens daily, is something I rarely do. Living and loving in that way is the aim of my prayer today.
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Lord, my prayer is that you remind me of how much you changed everything in my life. Today I ask specifically that you would help me to recall how much sin I had in my life before I met you, and how much sin has been forgotten by you since you have been the Lord of my life. I should be desperately in love with you for this very reason. My prayer is that tonight and whenever I am feeling not as intimate as I would like with you, that you would remind me of what sin you have freed me and forgiven me from. This will send my heart burning after you, where it is supposed to be.

Terrified!

Thought this picture deserved a look from my readers. I know it's in to post tsunami pics right now but this is the craziest one I have seen.

Literal Hyperbole

Luke 6:35-36 - "Love your enemies! Do good to them! Lend to them! And don't be concerned that they might not repay. Then your reward from heaven will be very great, and you will truly be acting as children of the Most High, for he is kind to the unthankful and to those who are wicked. You must be compassionate, just as your Father is compassionate.”
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On April Fools Day last year my car was broken into. I remember the date well because I was sure someone was playing a trick on me. They had ripped apart my dash, taken my CD player and all my CD’s (burned copies of my CD’s) including an audio New Testament I had been recently given. Turns out it wasn’t a prank. I was furious. My experience is that even more than I missed the things stolen from me, I felt violated. I didn’t want to be in my car the next day, it left me feeling taken advantage of. My ripped up stereo panel was left with nothing but wires with molten electrical tape covering their tips. Perhaps if you have had your car broken into you can relate.

That got me thinking how Jesus would have reacted in a similar situation. The trouble with understanding Jesus and his teachings is that he so often uses hyperbole so well that you can’t decipher whether or not he intends for his followers to actually do it. For instance when he calls people to cut off there hands if it causes them to sin. This is clearly hyperbole, but at the same time I have had rational seeming thoughts that I could use justify doing something like this. Even more difficult to understand is this passage here from earlier in the Sermon on the Mount. Does Jesus truly intend for us to love our enemies this much? Should we truly allow ourselves to be further physically assaulted by turning the other cheek? Should we give more than extortionists ask for when they approach us? Should we truly lend to those who have no intention of repaying us, or is the Lord just trying to make the point that we should try to get along with those we don’t like?

I don’t know. That is the only answer I can give to this statement. But it appears to me that from the plain reading of the scriptures that Jesus did exactly that. He gave his life to his enemies. Although I can’t say for sure what Jesus’ intent was in giving this instruction, I know that following them to the letter will do nothing to hurt the kingdom and everything for those who are currently opposed to God. So here I write that that I want to live my life taking the risk of giving to much. I will, or at least it is my aim to allow myself to be walked over completely for the furtherance of the gospel. I am willing right now to let myself be robbed, slapped, and taken advantage of if it will bring glory to the Lord. If you think I have taken this to far, just assume I speaking in hyperbole.
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Lord I ask you to help me to be more like you. That sounds so cliché but I mean it completely. I on my own will fail at loving my enemies the way you said to, and the way you did. Remind me constantly that I am called to love like this, I give you complete permission. Help me to respond in the same way you would. I need you desperately. Make me more like you.

New Template

It has come to my attention that one of my best friends in the world decided to blog recently and chose the same template as me, just to spite me. So I have elected to go with this new background. And to top it all off he has stolen my life vision statement and placed it in his blog description line. Be sure to write him a post and let him know that he is a biter, and a spiritual theif. Send him my love as well.
http://puaahunter.blogspot.com

Moss on all Sides

Today I realized something as I read through the word and looked for something to jump out at me. I got to thinking about moss and how I never realized it until someone told me this last year but moss only grows on the north side of trees. I found that odd, but remarkably true in all the evidence I could find. As I drove down the street I looked out every few minutes and sure enough the moss was only on the north side of the trees. I am a pastor so don’t look to me to explain why this is true or what cause this to happen. But I can tell you a place where moss doesn’t only grow on the north side of the trees. Hilo Hawaii. I lived here for the first two years of my life, and that place is warm year round and wet year round. The trees there don’t know summer from winter or north from south, they just grow and the moss does the same covering not only the trees but all the rocks, and the sidewalks and anything else that stays in one place long enough. I want to be like the trees of Hilo rather than the trees that I see today. I want to be able to grow from anything that come my way, not just when the conditions are ideal. I don’t need to be in my room with soft monastic music playing to grow (For the record I have never done that and have no problem with those who do). I don’t even need to be in the word when I grow. I just need to be ready to grow at all times. God wants to do so much in me and through me, that I don’t want it to only happen in the winter on my north side. I want it from all avenues. I just want to grow.
Anyway several things did jump out at me but I felt writing about them would be nearly useless. I don’t mean to say that there wouldn’t have been some benefit to spending time writing and processing those scriptures, but I Just didn’t feel particularly inspired to write about any of them. Let me give you an example: I read Luke 5:11 which says, “They (the first few disciples) left everything they had and followed Jesus.” What an amazing verse, but the problem is that I have had other times in my life where that same verse, or possibly the ones like it in Matthew, jumped out and me and inspired me for the day. I am not saying that this can’t happen again with the same verse, or that we should only read the bible once through and be done with it. I am just saying that I didn’t want to have to feign passion. I am passionate about this verse don’t get me wrong, I am just not sure that there is an application for this passion in my life right now. The last thing I want to be in my journal is fake. It’s my journal man. This journal is to track my spiritual growth and it is online so that others can keep me accountable to grow spiritually. I don’t want to fake growth, because when I do I think I miss out on other kinds of growth, like the growth that is happening as I write this.
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Lord, help me to grow as I write in this journal. I pray that as I read scripture tomorrow, you would help me to passionately apply what you are showing me. I pray that you would mark my life with transparency, and that you would teach me from many aspects of my life – being a husband, a pastor, son a father, and scripture. Use any area of my life to grow me and humble me enough to grow. Be the center of my life.

In the "Life" Section

I have a long standing belief that video stores are poorly organized. I never know where to go to look for the video I want to see. Take for instance, a few months ago when my wife wasn’t feeling well. She sent me to the video store to pick up her favorite sinful pleasure. Sex and the City. So I show up at blockbuster looking for the series figuring it would be in the television series section. Blockbuster however does not have a TV section so it was left to plan B. I looked in romance section. Foiled again… The comedy section… There I found a few copies of the DVD, but not the one I was looking for. Realizing that the ones I had seen were from the older seasons I deduced that the best place to look would be in the new release category under “S”. Finally I found the Video I was looking for, after wandering for a good five minutes.
To me it seems that it would make much more sense if instead of having all these different sections, I would have faired better if it was all in one line and arranged alphabetically. I always know the title of the movie I am looking for, it is just that I am not sure that it fits into one of the pre set categories. The same goes for music stores. I am not sure if the CD I am looking for is alternative, rock, pop, reggae, emo, or any of the above. Just let me find it without having to decide on a category before I look. A while back the Lord showed me that my Life in some ways is like a video/music store. It makes a heck of a lot more sense to drop all the silly categories made up by other people and just be who I am. I realized that I had a school Thomas, a family Thomas, a husband Thomas, a church Thomas, not to be confused with the pastor Thomas, and even a quiet time Thomas. I realized all the categories I was living in and took the proper measures to change them…in my mind. But when I get down to it, have I really changed anything at all. Did all I really do is come to an understanding of something that plagues me and the Christian culture as a whole, or did I really do something about it for myself. The answer sadly is that I have done little to eliminate the categories in my life. I realized this while driving today. Even this journal over the past few days has become a product of my Quiet time category. I want to have quiet times, but not give them their own category. I want to go to church but I don’t want to have church become a category in my life. It goes for every area. So here is what I feel I need to do. This blog, now 4 days old, will cease to have categories. It is called a "life" journal for crying out loud. There will be short essays like this one, there will always be daily journal entries, there may be humor, pictures, just about anything that could fit into the category of life, my only category. I want desperately to get rid of these categories in my life so I want it to start here. I no longer want to be a pastor at times, a Christian at times, a husband at times, and a blogger at times. I am a Human who is on a spiritual journey. You can find me, Thomas in the “T” section.

Best be Prayin Before You're Playin

Luke 4:13-14 - “When the Devil had finished tempting Jesus, he left him until the next opportunity came. Then Jesus returned to Galilee, filled with the Holy Spirit's power. Soon he became well known throughout the surrounding country.”
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What strikes me about this verse is the sequence that the Lord operates in here. In Matthew Jesus is filled with the Holy Spirit immediately after his baptism, but these verses paint a different picture. The book of Luke does not mention Jesus’ filling with the Holy Spirit in the section earlier on his baptism. In fact the first time Jesus is portrayed with the Holy Spirit is right here. I am not bothered by the differences of these two accounts, I have come to peace about the harmony of the gospels, instead I am moved by the order of events here. Simply put, after Jesus spent time praying and fasting, he was filled with the Holy Spirit. We see this also in the book of acts. This gets me excited because I know that I can both pray and fast, and therefore that same Holy Spirit that lived in Jesus now can live in me. I am comfortable with the fact that the Holy Spirit has always lived in me from the moment I was saved, but what I see here is the power accompanies it in Jesus’ life. Through prayer and fasting that same power is available to me.
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Lord, fill my heart with a desire to pray. Fill my heart with the desire to fast. I know you have huge plans for my life. I even believe that I can be the most influential person since Jesus himself, if I am willing to truly devote myself to you, these two things, and the work of your spirit that follows. Burn my heart for that. Make it burn for you, and prayer and fasting. Teach me how to pray the way Jesus did. I wonder what he was doing for those 40 days. Help me to have the focus to be able to pray like him. Use me Lord.

God: A Lover or a Fighter?

Luke 3:8-9 – “Prove by the way you live that you have really turned from your sins and turned to God. Don't just say, 'We're safe – we're the descendants of Abraham.' That proves nothing. God can change these stones here into children of Abraham. Even now the ax of God's judgment is poised, ready to sever your roots. Yes, every tree that does not produce good fruit will be chopped down and thrown into the fire.”
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Really… This paradox is so hard for me to grasp. This is John the Baptist’s message to the “spiritual” people of the day. There is no paradox in this scripture itself but in the whole of my theology there is one that stands out greatly. How does this fit into God’s love, his grace and his forgiveness. I have to wonder if this whole idea of God’s unconditional love is a construct of modern day Christianity. I am not saying that God does not have unconditional love for his children, but what that means perhaps has been skewed. I can’t back this up from research but I would be willing to be that scripture spends more time on God being angered by man than God loving man despite his anger. All this is to say that I am probably better served knowing in my heart that God gets angry, yet he is slow to anger. I hurt God, yet he loves me. I feel like we have in so many cases made our scripture and the theology it creates fit into the church model that was passed down to us. Things work best when God is seen as a giant grace teddy bear and not the God presented in this scripture. I am sure however that I am better served by a grasp of what God really is…both.
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Lord, help me to better understand your nature. I feel like I lean towards your soft side and I know that at times tough love is what I need. It is scary to ask you for something like that, but if it means me being more fruitful, I am willing. I realize that you could make anyone into a Christian, even stones, but you chose me, and I want to make that choice worth your while. Help me to do that in my motives, my actions and my thoughts. Help me to bring you joy by bearing fruit.

Don't Look a Gift Horse in the Mouth

Genesis 4:3-5 - "At harvesting Cain brought the Lord a gift of his farm produce, while abel brought several choice lambs from the best of his flock. The Lord accepted Abel and his offering, but he did not accept cain and his offering. This made Cain very angry and dejected"

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This one is a tough one for me. It seems in the text that it says nothing about the offering that Cain brought and in no way did it seem to hint of something bad about it. I was always thought in Sunday School that he brought rotten old fruits and vegetables, but it appears that this is not the case. The only difference in the two offerings is that the one the Lord loves is the best the person had to offer. Cain's offering was probably decent, but he could have done a little better. What gets me even more is that he not only rejects Cain's offering, but he also rejects Cain himself. Because Cain did not give his best to the Lord, he himself was rejected. I can't help but feel sorry for the guy. Maybe it is because I relate to him so closely. I know for a fact that the Lord does not get the very best I have to offer. Maybe I am just so trained and used to this fact that I am left feeling sorry for the villain of the story. Maybe it's because I am just as guilty as he is.

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Lord I ask you to help me to give you my best this year. My best time of the day. My best attention in my disciplines. Help me to resemble Abel more than Cain in this story. I am terrified of being rejected by you because I trick myself by giving you offerings that you do not desire. Show me what you desire, and I will give the best that I can . I am yours.

It Starts

Here we are, day one of my new years resolution, and I have five minutes to get it done and still have it done today. I feel okay about this being not quite up to form because I was impressed to do this today. My prayer is that this would be a blessing to you Lord and that you would bless me for doing this. Give me joy and make this a path to a fruitful prayer life with you. This Blog is yours Lord and I pray that my motives would show that. I want no glory from this but I would pray that it would bring you glory and I would be able to direct every ounce of it upon you. I am so stoked to see what you are going to dowith this. It's Yours, I am Yours.